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Jersey Shore

The Guys from Jersey Shore Have Some Advice for Honey Boo Boo Child

A photo of Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Honey Boo Boo Child

Look, I know some of you will judge me for this, but I love both Jersey Shore and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child, I really, really do. I like Jersey Shore because it’s just a big ol’ hot mess, and I love to watch hot messes from a safe distance, obviously, and I like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child because I think they’re actually a great little family. Sure, they eat roadkill sometimes, and sure, the mom makes spaghetti sauce by melting butter and ketchup in the microwave (no, really), but they have a whole lot of fun together, and they have some really positive views and values that you don’t see a whole lot on television. So yeah, I love them, no apologies.

Keeping that in mind, can you imagine how wonderful it is that most of the men from Jersey Shore got together to throw some advice to little Honey Boo Boo Child? Hint: it’s very wonderful.

“Run with it, run with it, run with it!” Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio, 32, said earlier today when he and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro stopped by E! News to promote Thursday’s premiere of the sixth and final season of Jersey Shore. “Embrace it! Embrace it and go for it.”

The Honey Boo Boo haters remind Ortiz-Magro, 26, of the Shore‘s early days. “She gets the same feedback we got,” he said. “You know, ‘Look at these crazy people! What are they doing?’ Enjoy it while you can…Make the best of it.”

Pauly D warns not to take anything too personally. “Just push it aside, stay positive,” he said. “That’s what I do.”

And make sure not to forget where you came from.

“I would tell her to have a good support system and try to be grounded,” said Sorrentino, 30, adding, “All of us have a good system when we come home where there’s family and friends and whatnot to ground us to make sure that we stay true to ourselves.”

And call us crazy, but wouldn’t it be fun to see Honey Boo Boo spend a summer in Seaside Heights? “I think she would kill it,” Ortiz-Magro predicted. “She’d be like the new Snooki.”

Ok, so who’s going to start working on the show where Snooki adopts Honey Boo Boo Child? Is someone in the business? Can one of you guys send a fax or something. Thanks!

Jersey Shore: CANCELLED!

photos of the jersey shore season 1 cast pictures cancelled show pic
OH GOD YES THANK YOU.

From MTV:

… The upcoming sixth season of “Jersey Shore” will be its last, bringing the party to a close after three years, two continents and one lil’ bambino (not to mention countless punch-ups, blow-outs and catch phrases.)

The final season of “Jersey Shore” kicks off on Thursday, October 4, at 10 p.m. ET/PT, but MTV will commemorate the end of the show with a hot tub full of farewell programming, beginning Thursday, September 6, with a one-hour retrospective, called, appropriately enough, “Gym, Tan, Look Back.”

That special premieres at 6 p.m. ET/PT; in the lead-up to the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards, airing live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles at 8 p.m. Not only will it recap some of the most memorable moments from “Shore,” but it will also feature interviews with the cast and give fans their first sneak peek at the upcoming final season.

“Gym, Tan, Look Back” will serve as the capper on a full day of “Jersey Shore” nostalgia beginning at 11 a.m. ET/PT on September 6 with an awards-themed marathon of “Shore” episodes, which will include the most iconic moments in the series’ history. And then, the cast of the “Jersey Shore” will gather at the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards Pre-show (airing live at 7 p.m. ET/PT) to discuss the final season from the red carpet.

Additionally, following the season six premiere on October 4, MTV will give viewers bonus programming each week at 11 p.m. ET/PT following the final episodes, from fan-favorite after shows with the cast to the can’t miss reunion special and much, much more.

It’s the end of an era … not to mention one epic party, so we’re pulling out all the stops. Anything to avoid being stuck with the cleanup bill.

Well, guys, here’s living proof that there is a God in heaven and he does have a hand in things. And that he also does have a sick and twisted sense of humor for even allowing something like this show to happen to begin with, but he is forgiving and has bigger and better plans in store for all of us (just hopefully not those on Jersey Shore. Because I don’t like to think that the joke is on me, OK?).

U mad?

Here’s Deena Nicole Cortese Being Bailed Out of Jail by Her Parents, Whee!

photo of deena nicole cortese leaving jail pictures
Oh that crazy Deena Cortese. Always doing crazy, crazy things like drunkenly humping ceramic pigs and getting arrested, and drunkenly humping non-ceramic pigs (oh, no, my bad; the right word in this case would be ‘warthogs’), and generally being one fine, hot-ass mess in public. These photos are photos of her parents—her parents!—bailing her out of jail for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct or whatever the charge was. They all run together and there’re so many fine lines of demarcation that it doesn’t really matter anyway. It’s ‘Jersey Shore’, or, you know, ‘The Big Embarrassing Elephant in the Room When the Shore Generation is Old Enough to be in Nursing Homes’. The less specifics we have in this case, the better off everyone involved will be.

So, yeah. Deena Cortese and her parents, leaving the police station, where it looks like they might have kept her for the entire night. She’s wearing the same clothes she got arrested in, after all, and a hangover is apparently imminent, so that’s my guess.

The thing is, she’s kind of cute. I know, I know; I could seriously off myself for saying that, but I think it’s true. Normally I’d chalk something like this up to too much coffee and blurry lenses, but the thing is, I’ve actually said it before. Specifically, I said, “… Deena Nicole Cortese has potential … sort of.” And I meant it then, too. Save for the head part, Deena Cortese is a HOT-TAY.

And we’ll forgive her for ill publicity stemming from a drunk and disorderly this time. I guess it’s better than hearing all about her snap-on teeth, anyway. There’s still always that.