These photos practically made my eyes pop out, seriously. JLH is a woman that I’ve had to warm up to over the past few years, and doggone it, I think she’s gone and melted my cold, fractured heart.
GIRLFRIEND IS LOOKING HOT. Like HOT HOT HOT. Hotter than I can even comprehend. I’m not going to sit here and compare pear-shaped bodies to asparagus-shaped bodies or whatever, nor am I going to say that shapely is better than rail-like or rail-like is better than shapely – but I AM going to say that THIS? As in the above photo and the ones down below? Is TOTALLY what I would consider to be the ideal, be-all, end-all of a woman’s figure. Girl has GOT IT and I am clearly enthusiastic about it.
That’s all I’ve got for a Friday, friends. JLH can take it over from here.
July 1, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Like, if I were a guy – or a girl who went that way – I’d totally be all about Jennifer Love Hewitt as primary stockholder in my spank bank. I’d rather her soft, luscious legs wrapped around me than the hard, possibly brittle stems of those of, say, Megan Fox or Calista Flockhart.
Can I get a “hell yes” on Jennifer Love Hewitt, just because?
June 28, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah
I know, I’m so bad at these guessing games! You didn’t even have to wait till the first paragraph to learn that Jennifer Love Hewitt is in talks to join the cast of Law and Order: SVU. I’m sorry I took that fun away from you.
But this isn’t about the game, this is about the cold hard fact that one of my favorite shows, SVU, is about to absolutely ruin itself. Granted, I think it’s been going downhill since my elderly man crush, Richard Belzer, stopped being a regular, but this is serious. It turns out that Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni have grown weary of solving sex crimes since ’99; Mariska’s character is getting a promotion within the precinct so she won’t have to work as much while Meloni himself is getting a raise. Detective Stabler can’t be without a partner though, and that’s where Jennifer comes in!
Nothing’s set yet, at this point these are just rumors, but here’s what’s up: this show is winding down, you know? It’s been twelve years, and things have gotten a little silly lately – it’s time to say goodbye. And what better way to ruin something than to heavily involve Jennifer Love Hewitt? Smart move, NBC.
May 16, 2011 at 11:30 am by Emily
Hey look! It’s Jennifer Love Hewitt, fresh from her latest breakup! You know, I have to give Jen-girl some props here: some celebrities drown their personal sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels, a pile of cocaine, or worst of all, the bottom of a plastic, whipped-cream-laden Starbucks frappuccino, but not Lovey. She’s sticking to the good stuff – plain-jane coffee – and she’s all the better for it.
Keep your chin up, girl. You’ll find a man one day who won’t try to change you and will accept you just the way you are – unfortunate pants and all.
May 5, 2011 at 9:30 am by Sarah
Oh girl. You’re doing absolutely nothing to quash those ‘serial dater’ rumors. You and this Alex Beh character, with whom you did that absolutely adorable, endearing Christmas video, dated for how long? According to People, it was ‘less than a year.’ But we here at Evil Beet, we who ALWAYS keep count, think it was more like six months. Which, yeah, is ‘less than a year,’ but it’s way closer to eight weeks than it is to fifty-two.
I always kind of rolled my eyes whenever the topic of Jennifer Love Hewitt was broached, but now shit’s kind of getting intriguing. It’s great to see who Jen’s going to show up with out of the woodwork every single time. Let’s try hard to kick it up a notch, though – Jamie Kennedy was probably the bottom, and I think you’re on an uptick, sweetheart.
Who would be an appropriate boyfriend for Jenny Love H?
May 4, 2011 at 4:30 am by Sarah
Honestly speaking, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bottom half could begin resembling Jabba the Hutt’s, and I still think she’d be totally smoking hot. I mean that. I’d hit it, and I’d hit it hard before I’d even considering hitting a LOT of female celebrities out there, and that says a lot.
All of the hubbub surrounding Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s weight fluctuations is just straight-up craziness. A hot woman is a hot woman no matter the size, am I right? So let’s move on.
Moreover, what concerns me the MOST about these photos? That girlfriend looks like she’s seriously considering purchasing that oh-so-classy ‘FUCK’ pocketbook. It’s just … creepy.