On your marks – get set! – go! Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Love Hewitt are head to head in competition for saddest reality famewhore of … um, I don’t know. Just this post, I suppose. I know you guys are probably thinking, “Blasphemy! Sacrilege!” because I’m sort of slamming one of my favorite ladies (Jennifer Love Hewitt, of course), but really, I’m not. I’m merely being realistic.
Come on. These two ladies both look like they’ve been up all night – both for different reasons, naturally; I’m willing to bet that Kim was up all night airbrushing her face so that it appears she’s wearing no makeup despite the fact that she’s actually got about seventeen layers of it, and that, my friends, is an art in its own right. JLH was probably up all night studying her script for The Client List and all six lines per show that she’s going to contractually receive. She’s probably also been writing love sonnets for her old flame, Jamie Kennedy, non-stop since she heard that he’s considered re-tapping that ass.
The moral of the story? Hard work is hard work, but what really defines you as a C-list celebrity is exactly what you work hard at doing.
Who’d you rather – Kim or Jennifer? Here’s the individual photos to help you decide.
You know, even though I (generally) love Jennifer Love Hewitt with the intensity of a thousand suns, I just can’t get behind this blonde look. And why do people say “Oh! She went blonde!” anyway, when it’s apparent that there’s still a bunch of dark hair mixed in there? Is the term “highlighting” or “frosting” passé these days?
The rest of the look, however, is a win. She’s toned up a lot (no doubt for her role as Lolita Stripper on the new Lifetime series, The Client List) and I’ve pretty much always appreciated the fashion choices that she’s made. Also, word on the street is that she’s reconciled with ex-boyfriend Jamie Kennedy. Don’t know about you guys, but I’ve always, always loved them together. The thought of the two of them shacking up was like a teenage wet dream – Randy from Scream (who I unashamedly admit to having crushed on back in the day), and Jennifer Love Hewitt, goddess siren of teen movies in the late nineties? Hell yes, thank you very much. Here’s the scoop from E! Online:
… Is the 32-year-old actress pairing her new hair with an old flame?
It sure looks that way!
A source tells E! News exclusively that Hewitt has rekindled her romance with actor Jamie Kennedy. The Ghost Whisperer costars enjoyed a year-long romance that ended with a high-profile split in March 2010.
Late last year, Hewitt split with actor Jarod Einsohn. Fortunately for the star, her old beau was conveniently unattached as well.
“They are dating again,” the source tells us, adding that the reunited couple has been enjoying sleepovers at Kennedy’s L.A. condo.
Hewitt’s Twitter feed certainly has been lovey-dovey the past month. She’s retweeted Love Quotes and Megan Fox’s parody Twitter account’s uplifting messages about romance and choosing to “look beyond the imperfections” in order to be happy.
Hewitt’s rep had no comment.
So, this is a complete yay, ‘meh’ hair aside. Do you guys think she’s gotten back with Jamie because she’s finally exhausted all of her dating options, or do you think it’s something more? You know, something like JLH + JK = TRU LUV 4EVER? Is it that? Because I sure hope it’s that. And I’m willing to bet that she sure hopes it’s that, too.
First of all, that is not girlfriend’s real voice. Don’t you remember back in the nineties when her song ‘How Do I Deal’ was big and crazy and all over the place? No? Here, here’s a Freshman year flashback for you:
Big differences? Breathy voice, smaller tits, awful center part in her hair, and the obligatory face close-ups. I also love the I Know What You Did Last Summer clips airing on the sheet hanging in the background of the video. I mean, yeah, I realize that this song was precisely recorded for the film soundtrack, but LOL. Come on. “JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT. HOT. SCARY FISHERMAN GUY. WHERE DID FREDDIE PRINZE JR’S. CAREER GO? WOOOOOOO, CREEPY.”
It’s a classic in the making, guys. Let’s cut her (and it) some slack. And before you watch the two previous videos and go all nuts, saying, “Ugh, this girl can’t sing“, she’s really not all that bad when you compare her to some of the ‘singers’ out there today. Here’s a clip of her doing Janis Joplin’s karaoke standard, ‘Me and Bobby McGee’:
Right? Not so awful. So now that we’ve established that it *probably* wasn’t Jennifer Love Hewitt singing the actual song accompanying her striptease man-flash video for The Client List, I want to go back to the point that I originally intended to make in showing you this clip.
See, back when The Client List was this nothing little movie; a tiny blip on the Lifetime channel’s entertainment radar, a bunch of women were all outraged that a movie was being made about a new ex-wife and mother having to whore herself out in order to pay the bills. It was degrading and gritty and a lot of people thought it was the anti-woman, succumbing to a world of men … stuff. But it did relatively well. And JLH and the film execs rode that trail ’til enough buzz was generated by the made-for-TV movie that it was picked up as a series (to also be aired on Lifetime. I said it did ‘well’, not ‘sensational’). Now that the series is going to be an actual thing, it seems like TCL is pandering only to those male audiences, showing Jennifer shaking her tits and showing her ass and checking out the pseudo-packages of her male clientele. And isn’t that kind of the complete opposite of what the film’s original intent was? Or did I get that wrong? Unless it’s supposed to be a video empowering women to perform sex acts in order to support her kids so that they have enough, I don’t know, Fruit Roll-ups for school? Is that what this all finally boiled down to? Because if it is. Man. What a disappointment. I’m all for tits and ass and Jennifer Love Hewitt, but not in such a cheap fashion. Way to go, Lifetime. Way to ruin a completely good premise by selling out.
What is the world coming to, guys, honestly. I just don’t know anymore.