Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jennifer Lawrence

Newsflash: Jennifer Lawrence’s Shooting Schedule and Slavery Aren’t At All Comparable

jennifer lawrence

David O. Russell is a fantastic director and has worked on so many great films, so it’s a shame to see that he’s such a mindless fucking idiot in his day-to-day life. You see, our pal David worked with Jennifer Lawrence on The Silver Linings Playbook (great film) and American Hustle (haven’t watched yet, but also probably great) and knows how hectic her life is, especially since the Hunger Games franchise is still going. She’s literally always working, you see – almost like slaves!

Here’s what he said last week:

“I personally think they should give her a bit of breathing room over there because they’re printing money.

“But she’s a very alive person. I’ll tell you what it is about that girl – talk about 12 years of slavery, that’s what the franchise is. I’m going to get in so much trouble for saying that.”

Uh………………………………

I literally have so few words for that, that I’m not going to say any. I think it speaks for itself. A movie star’s hectic life of making millions of dollars is not IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM anything like slaves being beaten, forced to work in insane conditions, raped, separated from their families and SO MANY OTHER HORRORS. He also clearly knew he shouldn’t have been saying it, and yet he did it anyway. Ah, the privilege of being a rich white man. What a wonderful world!

In any case, I guess all the shit he’s getting finally got to him, because Russell has decided to issue an apology that doesn’t sound at all heartfelt and really kinda means nothing:

“Clearly, I used a stupid analogy in a poor attempt at humor. I realized it the minute I said it and I’m truly sorry.”

Ah yes, it’s always hilarious when white people joke about slavery. What a knee-slapper! Christ, what’s wrong with people’s brains? Let’s just take a scene from your own movie:

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Best, Worst, And WTF Of Golden Globes Fashion

Jennifer Lawrence at her most Jennifer Lawrenciest.

Jennifer Lawrence at her most Jennifer Lawrenciest.

The Golden Globes happened last night and man, what a trainwreck! People were drunk and cursing all over the place. And Clooney wasn’t even there.

But you know what was there? The best, worst, and most WTF celebrity fashion had to offer. Let’s take a look through all these GG outfits and pick out which ones were deserving of BEST, WORST, and WTF.

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Joan Rivers and Jennifer Lawrence Are In a Legit Feud

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Everyone loves Jennifer Lawrence, right? She’s great! She’s zany and awkward and has no problem talking about her bowel movements on national television! Oh, and she’s a really great actress, too. But while the nation might be ready to make JLaw their new BFF (as they have been for a few years running, now), there’s one person who’s fighting the opposite corner: Joan Rivers.

Basically, in case you forgot this bullshit, Jennifer Lawrence once said that Rivers’ Fashion Police promotes the wrong values – something she’s been quite outspoken on basically her entire career. Rivers didn’t take too kindly to anyone slamming her nothing of a show and called JLaw “arrogant”, which was sorta the end of that… or so you would think!

Actually, Joan is talking about Jennifer AGAIN, saying it’s her NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION to get Jennifer Lawrence to “grow up”… and embrace snarking on other people’s outfits? I don’t really get her point, but here’s the quote:

“My New Year’s resolution is [ensuring] Jennifer Lawrence grows up and realizes how lucky she is and calms down.

“I love that she’s telling everyone how wrong it is to worry about retouching and body image, and meanwhile, she has been touched up more than a choir boy at the Vatican. Look at her posters. She doesn’t have a nose, she has two holes.

“She just has to learn, don’t talk if you’re doing it.”

Well, to be fair, Joan Rivers, Jennifer Lawrence isn’t a magazine editor and gets no say as to how and when she’s airbrushed or touched up on magazine shoots. Second of all, you’re basically telling her not to have any morals or standards in life and embrace fakeness, as you clearly have with your 9,000 plastic surgeries. Why don’t you “grow up” and embrace aging naturally?

I’m not saying Jennifer Lawrence is perfect or faultless or anything of the sort, but I feel like Joan needs to get a hobby. No one’s gonna join the JLaw hate train with you, lady… except maybe others who are just as bitter.

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Jack Nicholson Wooed Jennifer Lawrence With A Special Gift

jennifer-lawrence-jack-nicholson

Jack Nicholson hit on Jennifer Lawrence during a press interview after the Oscars, and he’s been wooing her ever since. After their awkward moment, Mr. Nicholson followed up by sending Ms. Lawrence a very special gift: butt plugs. Just kidding. He sent her something far more classy and romantic. Here’s what she told ABC News, via E Online:

He’s sent me flowers and a bottle of Cristal and a note that said ‘Missing you already.’ Not to brag. I should’ve probably kept that a secret so it could just be between me and Jack.

Ah, yes, Jennifer Lawrence sure is mastering the art of the humblebrag.

I know they’re just being silly, but I wouldn’t mind seeing them together as a real couple. F-ck it.

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The Story of Jennifer Lawrence and Her Butt Plug Collection

jennifer lawrence conan

It’s more innocent than you’re probably thinking – Jennifer Lawrence‘s friend sent her a bunch of butt plugs as a joke one time and she kept them in her hotel room, where they were discovered by one of the maids. Instead of being embarrassed by her discovery, the maid apparently set them out all fancy for her – ha! Makes for a great story, at least. Let’s watch Jennifer tell it on Conan, eh?

I know JLaw is a bit of a spaz and sorta embarrassing sometimes, but you just have to love her unfiltered rambling – it tends to yield some pretty hilarious results. Besides, I doubt she’s as high strung in her day-to-day life, it’s probably just nervousness or whatever.

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Jennifer Lawrence Thinks It Should Be Illegal To Call Someone “Fat” On TV

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Jennifer Lawrence is earning more points in everyone’s “Reasons To Love Jennifer Lawrence Handbook”. My handbook is covered in Lisa Frank stickers. She sat down with Barbara Walters and shared her thoughts about that dreaded f-word — “fat.” Via People:

I just think it should be illegal to call somebody fat on TV. Why is humiliating people funny? I get it, and I do it, too. We all do it. [But] I think the media needs to take responsibility for the effect it has on our younger generation, on these girls that are watching these television shows and picking up how to talk and how to be cool. So all of a sudden being funny is making fun of a girl that’s wearing an ugly dress.

Whoa, let’s not go too far, Jennifer. If I didn’t make fun of ladies’ ugly dresses, I wouldn’t have a job. No, but I get it, I get what she’s saying, and she’s right. How many times has she been called fat, and how f-cking ridiculous is that?

What do you think of her statements?

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Here Are Barbara Walters’ Most Annoying People

kim kardashian kanye west

Barbara Walters comes out with a most annoying most fascinating people list every year. Wanna see who made the cut for 2013?

Well the #1 won’t be revealed until the show airs. Want to place bets? For now we know these people will be included, according to the LA Times:

DISS.CUSS.

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