Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Caption This: Last Week’s Winners and This Week’s Photo!

Did you enter last week’s Caption This contest? If so, you may have won some free shit! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, PLEASE check your email (or email me at the address to the right) or you’ll lose out on a prize! We’ll be choosing the winner for the above photo next Tuesday, so make sure to check back to find out who it is – and make sure you enter!

The winner on last week’s Justin Bieber photo:

Winner: Lindy

“Just keep smiling for the camera and the usher tickets are yours!”

Runner Up: J.R.

“Justin’s version of ‘tit for tat’.”

Congrats, Lindy! Now the rest of you – get captioning!

Blind Item: Is Gwyneth Paltrow Having An Affair with Jay-Z?

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z

From Blind Gossip:

We aren’t easily surprised, but this one definitely shocked us.

These two celebrity couples have been known to hang out together. The wives are especially close friends.

The first wife is a beautiful, award-winning Actress who has also done some singing on TV and in films. The second wife is an beautiful, award-winning Singer who has also done some acting on TV and in films. Both women’s husbands are also famous and very successful in the entertainment industry.

Well, two of these people are even closer than we thought. It turns out that the Actress has hooked up several times with the Singer’s husband in the past few years.

This surprised us for several reasons. First, because the two women are practically best friends, and their friendship would end if the Singer ever found out. Second, because all of these people travel and are photographed so much that it would take some crazy planning to have an affair without anybody noticing. And third, because the Actress had a history of dating very attractive guys when she was a single lady… and the Singer’s husband doesn’t exactly fall into that category.

So this is pretty clear, right? Gwyneth Paltrow is the actress who sings sometimes, Beyonce is the singer who acts sometimes. They’re total besties. The actress’ history of dating very attractive dudes, that’s Brad Pitt. Nobody calls Jay-Z pretty. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it?

But while I don’t have any doubts that this is what the blind item is about, I kind of don’t believe it. I just really, really can’t see Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z boning. Can you? Can you even try? I started to, but then my brain kind of shut down, like it was telling me that I was about to unnecessarily hurt myself.

What do you guys think about this?

Robert DeNiro Thinks Jay-Z is an Ass With Bad Phone Manners

photo of robert diniro pictures jay-z pic
From Page Six:

Robert De Niro and Jay-Z got into a tense beef at Leonardo DiCaprio’s birthday bash the other night, when De Niro called the rapper disrespectful, Page Six can exclusively reveal.

Spies say “Godfather II” and “Taxi Driver” star De Niro gave Jay a dressing-down in a roomful of celebs including Martin Scorsese because the rap mogul had refused to return De Niro’s calls.

Sources add that Jay tried to joke his way out of the situation, and even his wife, Beyoncé, tried to intervene, but De Niro wouldn’t back down.

“Bob was sitting at a table, and when Jay-Z went over to say hello, De Niro told Jay that he never called him back,” a source says.

A spy then overheard De Niro complaining to the rapper, a fellow TriBeCa resident, about a song Jay-Z agreed to record for the Tribeca Film Festival. De Niro had reached out to discuss further details, but Jay never returned his calls.

“Bob wasn’t in any mood to make polite conversation,” the spy says. “He told Jay that if somebody calls you six times, you call them back. It doesn’t matter who you are, that is just rude.”

When Jay-Z tried to make a joke of it, saying he is terrible on the phone, a source says, “De Niro kept telling him that he thinks he’s the man, but that he was disrespectful.’ ”

“Beyoncé came over, but that didn’t calm Bob down,” the source said, adding that afterward, “It was the talk of the party. Everyone was saying there’s only one star in New York bigger and badder than Jay-Z, and that’s Robert De Niro. He can be quite scary when he’s angry.”

But a source close to De Niro told us, “It was a low-key private conversation between two people that was apparently overheard. It was not a heated discussion.”

The Darby bash, which sources say ended at 5 a.m. with a tab of nearly $3 million, much of which went to the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation, drew Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx, Chris Rock, Jonah Hill, Edward Norton, Mark Ruffalo and Emma Watson.

Reps for both De Niro and Jay-Z declined to comment.

Hm. So “Bob” De Niro and Jay-Z, duking it out at a benefit, huh? Interesting. And I guess, if I had to go and pick sides, I’d have to go with DeNiro on this one, because yeah. When you don’t return calls, that’s pretty crappy, but I can *also* understand Jay-Z’s stance on this one, because I, too, am terrible with returning calls. Terrible. And I don’t mean anything personal by it, and it’s always because I’m just way busy to consider anyone else’s feelings ’til at least three or four days go by, but hey. Wrong is wrong, and I’m wrong, and so is Jay-Z.

Can we all kiss and make up, now? We’ve got bigger fish to fry, guys. Namely flop-lipped ones that closely resemble Lindsay Lohan.

Beyonce and Co. “Shaping” Baby Blue Ivy’s Nose?

photo of blue ivy carter pictures nose shaping pics
From Bossip:

Blue Ivy may be looking too much like Jay-Z for Tina Knowles’ taste.

The chitchatter out of Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s inner circle is that Grandma Tina has been obsessive about “shaping” Blue Ivy’s nose — a practice of pinching and smoothing a baby’s features in attempt to form them into “more attractive” shapes. An insider tells Bossip that friends have spotted Tina “shaping” the baby’s nose as she falls asleep on several occasions. “Blue Ivy really does look just like Jay-Z,” the insider tells BOSSIP. “Tina is hoping she doesn’t get his nose, but it’s already looking that way.”

The source says the couples friends have tried to laugh off Mama Tina’s efforts to keep Hov from having hurt feelings. “He’s being a good sport, but she isn’t even trying to hide it,” the source adds.

Well jeez. If all that business is true, that’s got to make Jay-Z feel really, really good about himself. Damn, Tina.

All I know is that It’d be a cold day in hell if I allowed my mother do something this silly in order to make my already-pretty baby even “prettier.” Unless, of course, Beyonce‘s completely on board with it, and if that’s the case, well hell. I suppose there’s always the option of Botox and plastic surgery for the kid when she hits the ripe old age of five. I mean, kids’ features are, like, fully-formed by then, right?

Watch This: Jay-Z and Kanye West Mashup All Over Midnight in Paris

*Warning: The video is NSFW for language, so unless you’ve got earphones or have a boss that digs loud-ass “motherfu-kers” and “n-ggas” with their coffee-and-bagel breakfast, you might be well-advised to use them. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

So, OK. Best part of the video? Adrien Brody, of course. But the rest of it’s pretty great, too. I still haven’t seen Midnight in Paris (I know, I should really probably get on that), but after watching the video, accompanied by the vocal stylings of Kanye and Jay-Z, I think I have a pretty good idea that I’m going to positively love it. Granted, I could do without all of the Kanye, but I don’t think I have to worry about that as far as the film itself goes.

About the video:

Kanye West and Jay-Z’s anthemic “N*ggas In Paris,” a track off their Grammy nominated Watch The Throne album, gets the quirky comedy treatment, courtesy of a new mashup that combines their audio with visuals from the film “Midnight In Paris.”

In the movie, Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Marion Cotillard and the rest of the class trip along through a few centuries and dip in and out of France’s most prolific artistic circles, meeting the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Salvador Dali and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Here’s the original video, in case there was any confusion that Jay-Z and Kayne may have written the song for the movie:

No. See? Not at all. We’ve got that straight, now, right?

Also, have any of you guys seen this movie yet? It won all sorts of awards and it’s been nominated for a whole bunch of others, plus, a lot of people have a raging hard-on for Woody Allen so I’m sure some of you must have seen it already. If so, what did you think? Think the flick would have been better if Jay-Z and Kanye’s song were included on the soundtrack?

Viral Video: “99 Problems in Film”

Days like today are really tricky because I keep trying to find one thing to show you that isn’t the Grammys, isn’t Whitney Houston. (The latter is such a depressing scene; I just can’t even.)

But I think I finally found you guys something. Brooklyn-based audio/visual artists Eclectic Method just released this, their latest supercut, “99 Problems in Film.” In it, movie clips are repurposed and hacked together so as to comprise the lyrics to Jay-Z‘s “99 Problems.”

Or, as Eclectic Method themselves describe it, “It’s Jay Z’s classic ’99 Problems’ but rebuilt with film clips and retitled ’99 Problems in Film.’ So instead of Jay Z recounting the story it’s lots of out of context snippets…. Watch as Christopher Walken confounds rap critics or Marlon Brando despondently retorts to the cops pulling over Jay.”

The video is SFW with headphones, as there are obviously curses in the song. It’s pretty amazing, though.

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Look, It’s Blue Ivy Carter!

A photo of Beyonce and Blue Ivy Carter

Yesterday evening, Beyonce and Jay-Z did a really surprising thing: they posted pictures of their little bundle of joy, Blue Ivy, on Jay-Z’s site. I say it’s surprising because wouldn’t it make sense that a baby who gets diamond earrings and platinum bracelets would get a glamorous photo shoot in Vogue or something? It caught me a little off guard that the pictures were just posted online. What’s way more surprising though is that we’re seeing little Blue at all. For a couple as private as Beyonce and Jay-Z, and for all the rumors of surrogacy that have been going around, you’d think that it would be a good long while before we’d see any pictures at all. Not so much, I guess.

But hey, is this baby gorgeous or what? I mean, I’m one of those people who think babies are precious and adorable always, but this baby is just beautiful. I’m pretty sure it’s the hair. But her little hands and her little nose and her little baby lips! Babies, you guys! Can you even stand it?!

There’s already a lot of talk surrounding these photos: some people say the baby looks like Jay-Z and not Beyonce at all, some people say the baby doesn’t look like either of them, some people say that the baby doesn’t look to be the right age. Some people are saying that some of the pictures look Photoshopped, and some people are saying that Beyonce’s perfect hair post-delivery is a little suspect. Basically, people are saying a lot of things.

What do you guys think about the pictures? Where do you stand on the surrogacy situation, or do you even care anymore now that you’ve seen this beautiful baby? Oh, and speaking of caring, Mariah Carey didn’t want to be outdone by these long-awaited baby pictures, so she went ahead and posted a really good one of Dem Babies a couple minutes after we were introduced to Blue Ivy:

A photo of Monroe and Moroccan Cannon