Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Janice Dickinson

Janice Dickinson Is On The Beach (In A Leopard Print Bikini)

janice dickinson leopard bikini malibu

Janice Dickinson is kind of awful but mostly harmless. Any bad thing you’ve heard about Jancie Dickinson is probably true. So I get why people don’t like her. However, I think people need to calm their tits regarding these photos of Ms. Dickinson in a bikini. She’s “58″ years old, I don’t get what people think a “58″ year-old woman, especially one with plastic surgery mishaps, apparent sun damage, and probably decades of smoking, is supposed to look like. Especially since I refuse to believe that she’s “58″ years old. I would guess she is more like 63.  Rule of 5. 61, tops.

What do you think?

Love It Or Leave It: Janice Dickinson Looks OK Here

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And I’m serious—aside from the fact that the dress is ugly as sin and looks like it could have been purchased off of the clearance rack at Fashion Bug—in 1992, she’s looking pretty normal, taking into consideration how much tweaking’s been done to her face and how the sun’s rays have ravaged her skin. Janice is wearing minimal makeup, which is a big thing for her, and though she’s still rocking the stilettos, they’re more demure and classy—hardly f-ck-me pumps that are generally one step away from treading in Courtney Stodden‘s Lucite Seduction Territory.

But I don’t know, guys. Even though she’s looking loads better than she normally does (which means an almost-one-hundred-percent improvement), it’s really hard to look at this woman while trying to take her seriously and just knowing that she’s the one who made Scott Disick look for her fake teeth during a public dinner because she’d taken them out and put them down God-knows-where.

Last, I think this past year is probably the most we’ve ever talked about Janice Dickinson in the entire history of Evil Beet. So, despite every negative connotation that all of her posts have sort been BFFs with, it’s a good thing for Janice, here, right? Sure.

By the way, this is Janice Dickinson in 1978. Just in case your super-charged venti latte didn’t blow your mind enough this morning:

photo of janice dickinson pictures before plastic surgery
… I know, right?

 

Janice Dickinson Should Have Maybe Stayed Out of the Sun All Those Years

photo of janice dickinson wrinkly legs pictures
And she should also maybe get friendly with some high-powered, intensive therapy lotion. Girlfriend’s looking like a dried-up leather suitcase that’s faded beyond belief.

And not only is Janice quickly losing her elasticity from way too much exposure, she’s also losing her damn mind. Did you know that she made a public “threat” to shoot TMZ’s Harvey Levin? Because she did:

“He [Harvey Levin] invaded my home when he said I had been evicted. I hadn’t. There was an eviction notice and this was over an argument I had with my landlord about a plumbing and heating problem. They have now fixed the problem and I have paid them. Harvey openly lied to the public by saying I had been evicted and he distressed my child. He abused my child and invaded the privacy of my home. If it is a metaphor that he invaded my home it is also a metaphor when I say, Harvey Levin is going to die a horrible death and I’m going to shoot him.”

The incident in question was TMZ spreading the rumor that Janice was evicted from her home due to non-payment of rent, to which this was Janice’s original explanation:

“TMZ has been hounding me lately about something personal that’s going on with me. Yes, I was late with my rent and I was really upset about being late with my rent…I’m not being evicted, OK? I was having a little banter about some plumbing issues and the heating…It is now fixed. My rent’s been fixed.”

I dunno, guys. I get that she’s upset and stuff, but maybe people who live in leather houses shouldn’t throw strips of beef jerky at other people. Or something.

Janice Dickinson Still Hates Kim Kardashian

A photo of Janice Dickinson

And boy, does she really, really hate her. Do you remember back in December when I told you guys what Janice Dickinson had to say about Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton? It was pretty rough:

“Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian? Sluts, whores and sluts. That’s what they are. That fake sham marriage was disgusting because they did it for money! She’s a fraud, she’s a hoax.”

Janice here really isn’t afraid to say whatever comes to mind, is she? It’s sort of refreshing, or at least it is when you’re not the subject of her words or when you don’t ever have to hear them in person. Janice is surely That Friend, the one that’s brutally honest to the point of hurting your feelings. “Wow, you look so fat in that dress. How are you so fat?” she’d say as she pawed all over your tummy and backside. No thanks.

But hey, we aren’t her friends, you guys! So we can just sit back and watch Janice spew the truth with no fear at all. Let’s do that as she tells us what she thinks about Kim Kardashian and the infamous flour debacle, shall we?

“Throwing flour on someone is rude! I think Kim should be tarred and feathered! I support PETA. Anyone that wears fur is rude and disgusting! Especially Kim Kardashian. She is rude and disgusting.”

I know a lot of you guys won’t argue the rude and disgusting part, but do you think she should be tarred and feathered? Like maybe we should bring back that practice real quick so Kim can learn a lesson? Is that too far? Can anyone draw up some sketches real quick about what it would look like if Kim was covered in tar and feathers so we can think this through a little more? Be sure and do justice to her beautiful cry-face.

Stars Without Makeup: Janice Dickinson’s Plastic Surgery is Real Apparent

photo of janice dickinson no makeup pictures photos pics
Wait, my bad: is that Steven Tyler? Or is it Julia Roberts? I just don’t even know, guys! All of these celebrities and their zany plastic surgery choices, it’s hard to tell them apart anymore. But if you thought it was either Steven or Julia, you’d be wrong. It’s definitely Janice Dickinson, and she definitely looks worse for the wear.

I could talk about all sorts of things here to try and distract everyone from what’s going on with her face – like that one time when her dentures fell out during dinner, or how she only dates men that’ve had as much (if not more) plastic surgery as she has, or even how she called Tyra Banks fat that one time. Janice is so sparkly-multi-faceted that it’s really hard to focus on just one aspect of her persona, and to try and define her through the various facial enhancements that she’s undergone is only an insult to her and supermodel-dom alike.

And speaking of how talented and innovative she is, Janice is currently planning a reality show of her own called Sober Model House. Sounds just great, doesn’t it? And the reason behind it? Because she says that far too many models have issues with substances and the like and it’ll be an empowering thing to be able to raise these ladies right:

“It will help models get sober because the industry is so messed up. Fortunately, my own daughter is 17 and doesn’t want to be a model. She is far too smart.”

So far there’ve been no network pickups on her series, and isn’t that a shame.

But hang on a second. Before I let you go, let’s look at a photo of Janice makeup-free one more time, shall we?:

photo of janice dickinson pictures photos no makeup pics photos
Right. Totally normal and even-keeled and not-at-all disturbed. Looks to me like Janice herself might need a sober model house, right?

Quotables: Janice Dickinson Never Holds Back

A photo of Janice Dickinson

“Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian? Sluts, whores and sluts. That’s what they are. That fake sham marriage was disgusting because they did it for money! She’s a fraud, she’s a hoax.”

- Janice Dickinson explains her views on the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.

Janice went on to call Kim’s famous ass a “heap of lard” and recounted a tale of a time when she ran into Kim and Kris Jenner and ended the conversation with calling them both fake and walking away.

I know that a lot of times you guys don’t really care for Janice Dickinson, for whatever reason, but I think this might be a really rare time when you’re actually on her side. Am I right?

Just Because I Know How Much You Love Janice Dickinson …

A photo of Janice Dickinson

Here are a handful of hot and sexy pictures of her on a date night! Saucy!

If you want to perhaps save these pictures for the purpose of cutting and pasting your own head over this gentleman’s, don’t be ashamed – I wouldn’t blame you!