Janice Dickinson is kind of awful but mostly harmless. Any bad thing you’ve heard about Jancie Dickinson is probably true. So I get why people don’t like her. However, I think people need to calm their tits regarding these photos of Ms. Dickinson in a bikini. She’s “58″ years old, I don’t get what people think a “58″ year-old woman, especially one with plastic surgery mishaps, apparent sun damage, and probably decades of smoking, is supposed to look like. Especially since I refuse to believe that she’s “58″ years old. I would guess she is more like 63. Rule of 5. 61, tops.
What do you think?
And I’m serious—aside from the fact that the dress is ugly as sin and looks like it could have been purchased off of the clearance rack at Fashion Bug—in 1992, she’s looking pretty normal, taking into consideration how much tweaking’s been done to her face and how the sun’s rays have ravaged her skin. Janice is wearing minimal makeup, which is a big thing for her, and though she’s still rocking the stilettos, they’re more demure and classy—hardly f-ck-me pumps that are generally one step away from treading in Courtney Stodden‘s Lucite Seduction Territory.
But I don’t know, guys. Even though she’s looking loads better than she normally does (which means an almost-one-hundred-percent improvement), it’s really hard to look at this woman while trying to take her seriously and just knowing that she’s the one who made Scott Disick look for her fake teeth during a public dinner because she’d taken them out and put them down God-knows-where.
Last, I think this past year is probably the most we’ve ever talked about Janice Dickinson in the entire history of Evil Beet. So, despite every negative connotation that all of her posts have sort been BFFs with, it’s a good thing for Janice, here, right? Sure.
By the way, this is Janice Dickinson in 1978. Just in case your super-charged venti latte didn’t blow your mind enough this morning:
… I know, right?
And she should also maybe get friendly with some high-powered, intensive therapy lotion. Girlfriend’s looking like a dried-up leather suitcase that’s faded beyond belief.
And not only is Janice quickly losing her elasticity from way too much exposure, she’s also losing her damn mind. Did you know that she made a public “threat” to shoot TMZ’s Harvey Levin? Because she did:
“He [Harvey Levin] invaded my home when he said I had been evicted. I hadn’t. There was an eviction notice and this was over an argument I had with my landlord about a plumbing and heating problem. They have now fixed the problem and I have paid them. Harvey openly lied to the public by saying I had been evicted and he distressed my child. He abused my child and invaded the privacy of my home. If it is a metaphor that he invaded my home it is also a metaphor when I say, Harvey Levin is going to die a horrible death and I’m going to shoot him.”
The incident in question was TMZ spreading the rumor that Janice was evicted from her home due to non-payment of rent, to which this was Janice’s original explanation:
“TMZ has been hounding me lately about something personal that’s going on with me. Yes, I was late with my rent and I was really upset about being late with my rent…I’m not being evicted, OK? I was having a little banter about some plumbing issues and the heating…It is now fixed. My rent’s been fixed.”
I dunno, guys. I get that she’s upset and stuff, but maybe people who live in leather houses shouldn’t throw strips of beef jerky at other people. Or something.