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Hulk Hogan

Hulk Hogan: Still The Creepiest

A photo of Hulk Hogan

But why is Hulk Hogan the creepiest this time? It’s because he tweeted this picture of his daughter:

A photo of Brooke Hogan

And he just captioned it “Brooke’s legs.” Gross.

Now, this is creepy enough on it’s own, I think – I mean, if my dad did this … I don’t know, I can’t even imagine this, probably because my dad isn’t gross – but what makes it really creepy is when you remember this picture:

A photo of Brooke Hogan and Hulk Hogan

Yep, that’s Hulk applying suntan lotion to his daughter’s ass. He really got in there, too. There are photos that I don’t care to post of him pretty much rubbing his hand between her inner thighs. I don’t care to post it because it seriously makes me uncomfortable.

Other reasons why the picture of Brooke’s legs is creepy include the fact that Hulk slept with one of Brooke’s friends who happens to resemble her, and also because he married a woman who could basically be Brooke’s twin. Have we firmly established the creepiness yet?

Ok then, let’s move on to why Hulk and Brooke say the picture isn’t creepy. Here’s Brooke’s tweet:

A dad can’t even be proud of his daughter without sickos makin it something it’s not. Really?? Go back to your farm animals. ?#ignorant

And Hulk’s:

Brooke works out for 2hrs a day,a fan takes a picture,Brooke love it,tweets back thank u,proud dad tweets it,creeps and perverts everywhere

For what it’s worth, Brooke defended her dad during that lotion debacle by saying things like “he used to change my diaper” and “it’s like he’s touching an old car.” You know, if old cars had nice asses.

Are you thoroughly disturbed yet?

Are the Hogan Family the New Lohans?

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Clubgoers at Las Vegas nightclub Enclave reported that a plastered Brooke Hogan showed up last night in what one guy described as “an utter state of hot drunkenness,” which is also now my knew favorite way to describe that phase of consciousness. At about two in the morning she hopped up on stage and stumbled all over herself to give an impromptu performance that included slurred lyrics and terrible, clumsy dancing, which is actually no different from any other Brooke Hogan performance.

So, she embarrassed herself– again, how is that any different from a normal Brooke Hogan musical performance– but she’s 21, so there wasn’t anything illegal about it.  I just hope for the sake of her daddy that she’s not going to start down the Lohan expressway to nowhere. Judging from the premature aging in the picture above (Brooke is on the right) she’s been putting some things in her system on a regular basis that aren’t good for her.

That whole family should probably go to rehab together.  Last week on the Joy Behar show, The Hulk talked about popping a few Xanax, staring at a bottle of booze with a gun in his hand, and contemplating suicide after his wife filed for divorce. He also commented that he could “understand” where O.J. Simpson was “coming from” and thought about “turning everything into a crime scene” and “slitting everybody’s throats.”

Which One’s His Daughter Again?

Brooke Hogan with Hulk Hogan and Jennifer McDaniel at her 21st Birthday Party at Pure Pictures Photos

Hulk Hogan and his girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, made an appearance at Brooke’s 21st birthday in Las Vegas hotspot Pure last night. I have so much trouble believing that Brooke is only 21 years old. I feel like this girl has lived four lifetimes already, only two of which she’s spent ratting out her mother’s drug habit to the press. Linda Hogan was, of course, not there, unless she and her boyfriend are hiding in Jennifer’s breast implants. Actually, that’s unlikely, because those implants look like they’re older than Linda’s boyfriend.

And Brooke? Lay off the spray-tan, sweetie. Your father should not be your barometer for an appropriate face color.

Love Can Be So Sweet

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I have a Hulk Hogan story.  You won’t be impressed.  He once bumped into my mother at O’Hare airport while he was eating a chili dog.  The end.

A more impressive story?  According to a new Rolling Stone article, Hulk Hogan totally relates to spousicide.  It all started when Hulk’s wife Linda started doing “some shaggy-haired pool boy 30 years her junior.”   The demise of his marriage gave Hogan a whole new level of sympathy for O.J.:  “I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody’s throat.  You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife … I totally understand OJ. I get it.”

I’ve been through a divorce and a few ugly break-ups but I’ve never wanted to open somebody’s neck over it.  As a matter of fact, with the exception of Mischa Barton, I’ve never wanted anyone dead.  And I don’t really even want Mischa dead…maimed or retired perhaps, but not dead.

Anyway, note to LAPD:  If Linda Hogan ends up in a pool of blood and there is chili dog residue at the scene, you know who to call.

Hulk Hogan’s Ex Faces Abject Poverty

So I was reading about how Linda Bollea, soon to be ex of Hulk Hogan, is broke.  My initial thoughts were that Hulk’s conduct is horrible in this whole matter.  I mean, the average every day person would have to live a very modest lifestyle to exist on the $40,000 a year he’s paying her.  I couldn’t survive on that.  How is a celebrity with so many financial responsibilities supposed to?  House expenses, wardrobe, cars, surgeries…heh.  There is no way a household like that can be supported on such a small amount.  Not to mention that she was there back when he was just Terry Bollea.  Before all the fame and money.  And now his lawyer wants her to account for every penny she’s spent?  You know Hulk Hogan could be paying her so much more.  40K a year is nothing! 

And then I got all Paris Hilton with my reading skills and saw…she gets $40,000 a month???  Oh fuck you Linda.  Buy some Easy Mac, sell something on Ebay and deal until this months’ check arrives.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Hulk Hogan and His Girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, Swimming in the Ocean in Miami, Pictures, Photos

All together now:

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Hulk Hogan and his new girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, were spotted splashing around in Miami this weekend. The two have reportedly been dating since around January.

“He’s very happy,” says a source. “He just seems very happy. His mood has changed. He’s in a better place.”

His mood has changed? Hell, his entire color has changed. Seriously, he is darker than Barack Obama right now. Somewhere at Hillary’s campaign headquarters, they’re sitting around trying to figure out how they can use Hulk Hogan to help get the black vote.

And I don’t know much about Jennifer, but I’ll tell you what I do know: This is the kind of chick who should never leave the house without make-up.