Helen Mirren, oh man, don’t even get me started on that trollop. I am so sick of her slutty red carpet outfits. You guys won’t even BELIEVE what she wore this time. That’s right. Look at those platform heels. Guys…she went full Stodden. Here’s a close-up:
I understand why all women of all ages in all of Hollywood would want to embrace the look of Courtney Stodden; she is, after all, our modern day Grace Kelly. And beyond. Elton John is going to re-write “Candle In The Wind” so hard for her.
So you listen up, Little Miz Mirren. You return those shoes EXACTLY as you borrowed them, and I mean EXACTLY. I want to see some spray tan residue on the inside of those thick clear straps. And when you return them, and she says, “It was an honor, your majesty”, try not to roll your eyes even though I know you’ve explained to her at least 10 times now that you’re not actually the Queen. Let her believe, Ms. Mirren. Let her believe.
July 12, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Helen Mirren is fantastic and we all know it. It’s not a secret (nor has it ever been), but she’s really outdone herself this time. A 10-year-old boy who is battling cancer wished to have tea with the Queen at Buckingham Palace. I’m not sure why this didn’t happen, but Helen wasn’t allowed to let it go down like that, so she invited him backstage at The Audience and, dressed as the Queen, had tea and introduced the kid to her corgis. I LOVE IT.
From The Daily Mail:
Oliver Burton is facing his third battle with cancer and top of his bucket list was a visit to Buckingham Palace. But when the real Queen said she would not be able to meet the youngster, a limo was arranged so he could meet Dame Helen instead.
She paid for them to see her West End show in which she plays the Queen and then invited Oliver and mother Catherine Browne backstage where she introduced him to her corgis and her butler served tea. Catherine and father James were so delighted that their son actually thought the actress was the real Queen.
His father James Browne said: ‘She stayed in character for the whole thing. Oliver thought she was the real Queen, and well, that’s good enough for us.
‘She was really lovely. She did the whole thing – had a butler there, was dressed in costume and did it all properly for him.
‘She sat in Oliver’s wheelchair and gave him her big chair. She had a glass of coke together and biscuits and little sandwiches and they even brought in her corgis from the show, Coco and Roco. ‘She was wonderful and in some of the photos you do a double take because she really does look like the real Queen.
‘She knighted him and told everyone that they had to call him Sir Oliver. He had a brilliant day. He took his British flag and got her to sign it and just waved and waved it all day.’
Oh man, THAT IS SO PRECIOUS. And really, really sweet. I think my faith in humanity has gone up by a tiny percentage today.
May 21, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Helen Mirren is one of Britain’s national treasures. She’s classy, sassy and is even down with the latest fashion trends. Still, she’s no spring chicken and we’ve all seen Grumpy Old Men. What I’m trying to say is, once you start receiving your pension, you’re free to tell people exactly what you think of them with impunity, because who – besides a total asshole – is going to yell at a senior citizen? No one! That’s why this story is nothing other than great.
Let me set the scene: a drum troupe interrupted a performance of The Audience last Saturday at London’s Gielgud Theatre and Dame Helen was none too pleased about it. So she did what any sassy nan would do: she launched into a profane rant and then marched off the stage in full Queen regalia.
From The Mirror:
A group of noisy drummers were told to “shut the f-ck up” during a foul-mouthed rant – by the Queen.
For one terrible moment, the gobsmacked street musicians must have thought it really was Her Maj letting rip at them.
In fact it was Dame Helen Mirren dressed as the Queen for her role in West End play The Audience.
Dame Helen – who won an Oscar for her stunning portrayal in the 2006 film The Queen – was wearing her trademark royal outfit, complete with tiara and pearls.
She stormed out of the Gielgud Theatre, in London, in the middle of Saturday night’s show to give the band a right royal rollicking.
Band organiser Joe O’Leary, said: “This little old lady came running out in a green dress, pearls and a tiara and headed for the conductor.
“She was saying, ‘shut the f-ck up, people have paid f-cking a hundred pounds for their theatre tickets’. She said the F-word about 20 times. I kept saying, ‘we didn’t realise’ and she was like, ‘just shut the f*** up’. You couldn’t get a word in edgeways, she was proper on a rant.”
Uh, first of all, this is amazing. Get ‘em, Memaw! No one else was going to speak up, so Dame Helen had to show ‘em how it’s done.
Want to know something more amazing? There’s video of the incident. HELL YES!
May 7, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Helen Mirren is a film legend, so she could show up at an awards show in a paper bag with a mop end for a wig and old KFC buckets for shoes and no one could say shit because she’s doing her and has earned the right to do so. She didn’t quite go that far at last night’s BAFTAs in London, but she did take a popular hair trend to the pensioner set by dyeing her hair a lovely shade of bubblegum pink, an idea she got from… an unlikely source, shall we say.
“I saw it on America’s Next Top Model, so I decided to have a go.”
First of all, I love that Helen Mirren watches America’s Next Top Model – I didn’t realise anyone still did. Second of all, I love that she has such a buck wild spirit that she didn’t think twice about heading to Katy Perry town with her locks. And while it’s a bit unusual, it certainly doesn’t look bad. I wish I could get away with pink hair, but it’s just not happening. Helen’s move was especially risky considering the BAFTAs are full of British people who aren’t really into bullshit and really are into class, fanciness and sexy accents.
In any case, the BAFTAs red carpet was chock full of stars, from Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman and Ben Affleck to Samuel L. Jackson, Jessica Chastain and more. Check out a gallery from last night’s red carpet below:
February 11, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
“The only thing I don’t like on young people is plastic surgery. The purity of youthful beauty is so fantastic to me that it’s horrific when young girls get fake things.”
I think she’s sending a good message here, and I like Helen a lot. However, this, coming from someone who’s publicly spoken in the past about being OK with plastic surgery, though she’s never allegedly gotten any herself, is probably kind of confusing to those young’uns she’s referring to. I mean, where’s the line? Does “young people” end at eighteen? Twenty-one? Thirty? It’s really all open to interpretation – especially if you ask our new friend Courtney Stodden. Sheesh.
August 18, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
I can’t really explain to you why I love Helen Mirren so much, but I really do. She’s equal parts funny and classy, which I think is pretty rare to find nowadays. And since I love her so much, it just stands to reason that some of you would love her too, and if some of you love her too, then some of you have to want to see her topless.
Photo courtesy of Amy Grindhouse