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Dancing With The Stars

Meet Your Dancing With The Stars Season 17 Winners!

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Dancing with the Stars had its big finale last night, and guess who won? The last three couples were Karina Smirnoff with High School Musical‘s Corbin Bleu

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Cheryl Burke with Jack Osbourne

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…and Derek Hough with Glee alum Amber Riley.

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Emma Slater with comedian Bill Engvall was voted off in the semi-finals the night before.

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And the winning couple is…

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Meet Your 2013 Cast Of Dancing With The Stars!

season 17 dancing with the stars

BILL NYE. BILL FREAKING NYE. Bill Nye “The Science Guy” is one of twelve contestants competing in season 17 of Dancing with the Stars. Fantastic!! Here are the rest of your dancing heroes.

Snooki. Yes, it’s happened.
Leah Remini rumors were true, though she was not on Good Morning America this morning with the rest of the cast. I hope she’s safe.
Valerie Harper, which was already confirmed.
Glee alum Amber Riley. (She will be paired with Derek Hough. If you watch the show, you know this is a very surprising partner for her to get.)
Elizabeth Berkley.
Jack Osbourne.
– NFL player Keyshawn Johnson (no idea, sports are so painfully not my thing.)
– Corbin Bleu (from High School Musical, isn’t that practically cheating?)
– Brant Daugherty, actor. No effing idea. Apparently he’s known for Pretty Little Liars.
– Bill Engvall, comedian. No idea.
Christina Milian.

Are you going to watch?

 

Wait, I just realized who Keyshawn Johnson is. He’s the dude who keeps driving Justin Bieber‘s cars and effing them up. Brilliant.

WHY Did Paula Deen Turn Down “Dancing With The Stars”?

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Rumours have been rampant — rampant, I say — that Paula Deen would join the cast of Dancing With The Stars. All they had to do was ask. Well, apparently, they did. And she turned them down. Because she has so much else going on and so much else to do.

So why did she say no? According to a source close to the unemployed Food Network Star, (via Daily News),

The dance floor is not the appropriate forum for her.

Really? Of all the things that are inappropriate for Paula Deen to do, dancing is one of them?

All right, Paula. Best of luck!

Paula Deen On Dancing With The Stars — Would You Watch?

Photo: Celebrity chef Paula Deen

Paula Deen has pretty much nothing at this point, so if she was offered the opportunity to be on season 17 (yeah, 17 seasons) of Dancing With The Stars, I’m thinking she would take it. Would they dare offer? Maybe. The producers of DWTS seem to love a good comeback and redemption story (see Andy Dick, season 16.)

It’s just a rumor right now. From VH1 via Pure Dancing With The Stars:

Looks like Paula Deen is serving one dish that The Gossip Table doesn’t want to eat. And anyone else for that matter. Rob Shuter reports that the former Food Network star has been dropped Walmart and several other sponsors. However, she may seek redemption through reality TV. Rumor has it that she’s been approached to be on Dancing With The Stars.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it, that’s all the info there is. However, Indy 500 winner Tony Kanaan is apparently “in talks” with joining the cast. He told Hollywood Life that, “If it’s the right time, I’ll definitely accept it and go try it.”

Here are more rumored cast members, or wishful thinking:

Jon Gosselin

Khloe Kardashian

– Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean

Would you watch Paula Deen on Dancing with the Stars?

Will Khloe Kardashian Do ‘Dancing with the Stars’?

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Dancing with the Stars is where celebrities go to die, generally speaking. Unless you’re, like, Kirstie Alley, you won’t be experiencing a career renaissance as you awkwardly lurch your way through an Argentine Tango with Anna Trebunskaya (wanted to think of the most ‘out there’ professional, obvs) in an ill-fitted spandex suit. It’s just not going to happen. Two Kardashians have already been there – whaddup, Kim & Rob? – but here’s the question: would another tread the same path? Will it be Khloe? DWTS professional Cheryl Burke – who was paired with Rob during his season – certainly hopes so.

From Life & Style:

“Khloe’s got to do it,” Cheryl says. “I think she would be amazing. I think she would actually win the whole thing. She looks great, and I think she has natural rhythm and I think she would be amazing.”

Khloe was approached to do the show before (probably before Rob and he did it as a runner-up, of sorts) but turned it down because it’s hard as hell and “working” – other than in front of a camera – ain’t in the Kardashian vocabulary. Now that LamLam‘s been ditched from his NBA team and she doesn’t have much else going on, though, I guess I could see it happening.

I’ve said before that Khloe is my fav Kardashian and that still stands – less of the evils and all – but Dancing with the Stars is even worse than American Idol. It should be burned to the ground, never to be mentioned again.

Bachelor Sean Lowe To Be On Dancing With The Stars

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Sean Lowe of The Bachelor is a surprise addition to Dancing with the Stars. Announced this morning on Good Morning America, Mr. Lowe with dance partner Peta Murgatroyd will join luminaries Andy Dick and Wynonna Judd among others on season 16 of ABC’s reality dancing show.

AND I AM SO PUMPED.

Did you guys watch The Bachelor finale? Sean chose Catherine, who seems okay but barely got any screen time and isn’t nearly as much of an audience favorite as runner-up Lindsay. Sean also really, really didn’t want to break up with Lindsay but he had to because that’s the nature of the show yet he also liked Catherine but one of them had to go, so he told Lindsay, “I have no real reason to break up with you” and “I love you” and sent her on her way and then proposed to Catherine a few hours later. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.

He and Catherine are going to marry on TV. Bachelor Biceps wants to make something clear though:

I’ve always said I’m not looking for fame. In fact, I don’t like the fame aspect of The Bachelor or Dancing With the Stars. But when an opportunity like Dancing comes along, it’s too good to pass up. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I wouldn’t have taken it had Catherine not been OK with it. She’s fully supporting me. She’s in my corner. She’s going to be on this crazy ride with me.

Translation: Oh my God you guys they paid me so much money you have no freaking idea, I can’t even, you guys, you guys if I could show you this check you would understand, I can’t even, you guys.

On Bachelor Biceps surprise addition, Andy Dick said,

Oh Lord. If he has those guns and he’s got the dance moves, then watch out America.

Translation: Oh my God you guys I am going to have try THAT MUCH HARDER to keep everyone’s attention on me at all times, you guys, you guys, oh my God.

Dancing with the Stars 2013 Cast Revealed

dancing with the stars season 16 cast

Dancing with the Stars, just revealed their cast for season 16. Yes, season 16. Do you feel old yet? It’s your usual motley crew of “who’s that” “trainwreck” “athletes” and “why?” Let’s take a look, in order from who I know trickling down to who I don’t recognize.

 

Andy Dick. I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong! Let’s get ole Andy “Massive Liability” Dick on a live show where he has to interact with people and work hard. Take a shot every time he offends someone.

Wynonna Judd. Country singer and sister of Ashley Judd and daughter of Naomi Judd. Loves to argue with her mom and sister. Complained about her weight on Oprah.

D.L. Hughley. Bwah? This falls under the “why” to me. I guess he hasn’t done much since his show was cancelled in 2009.

Kellie Pickler. She was on American Idol and ask Simon, “What’s sal-min?” And he said, “You don’t know what salmon is?” And she did her aw shucks routine of, I’m just a little country girl. I’m okay with her though. She seems sweet and fun and when her friend got cancer and lost her hair, Ms. Pickler shaved her head in solidarity. That’s awesome.

Dorothy Hamill. Ice skater. I think Chandler had a crush on her on Friends. Or maybe it was Ross? That’s all I got.

Victor Oritz. Boxer.

Now we’re into “I have no idea who these people are” territory.

Aly Raisman. 18 years-old, Olympic gymnast. She won a gold medal and a bronze medal.

Ingo Rademacher. Soap star. Known for General Hospital.

Jacoby Jones. Football player for the Baltimore Ravens. Super Bowl Champion. Has a clock tattooed on his chest.

Lisa Vanderpump. Oh I just realized who she is now. She owns Sur (a restaurant in West Hollywood). She was also apparently on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Zendaya Coleman. She’s an actress on the Disney Channel show Shake It Up! (Wha?) She plays “Rocky Blue.”

 

So there you go. I think Andy Dick will be first to go. Judd will stay around for a bit since she’s one of the more recognizable names but I don’t think she’ll last long.

What do you think of this cast? Do you watch the show? Will you this season?

Image of the celebrity dancers + their dance pro partners is from Dancing with the Stars Facebook, which is worth checking out because the wall comments are GOLD.