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Christina Aguilera

4Blind Item: Christina Aguilera Is An Angry Drunk

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Every now and then, there’s a blind item that I can figure out. And, I’ll admit it, I get a little cocky. I’ll post the picture of the celebrity I think the blind item refers to instead of that creepy faceless picture, and I’ll talk a little more smack. And this is definitely one of those times.

This diva had a little too much to drink at a recent Halloween party. She was fine until someone brought up the name of another female artist. Our diva began mocking her rival. When someone made the mistake of coming to the rival’s defense, our diva went ballistic, and started screaming at them: “That bitch destroyed my career! Don’t you ever, EVER mention her name in front of me again!” The defender backed off, and everyone else gave the diva a wide berth for the rest of the evening.

Christina Aguilera obviously hasn’t put down the bottle yet, and she obviously still hates Lady Gaga for her own failures. It’s almost too easy.

Any other guesses?

November 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily

2Christina Aguilera Still Refuses to Wear Pants

A photo of Christina Aguilera

I swear, Christina, if I have to tell you one more time to put on some pants, I’m going to lose my cool, I really am. I’m just trying to help you, girl, and believe you me, you’re at a point in your life where you really need all the help you can get.

Now, later we can talk about the possible alcoholism and underlying issues and all that, but for now, Christina, please … the pants. For the love of God, the pants.

October 24, 2011 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera

6Christina Aguilera Looks SO MUCH BETTER Without Makeup

A photo of Christina Aguilera

It’s no secret that Christina Aguilera has been looking kind of rough these days. Something about all the booze just doesn’t flatter her that much. But in these photos where she’s not all made up – or at least not all made up for Christina – I think she looks really great!

Now if she would just put on some pants …

October 19, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera

0Christina Aguilera Reminds Me of Jessica Simpson

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Well, in some ways. They’re both immensely talented when they have their shit together, they’ve both been in the spotlight for a long time, they both get ridiculed for their fluctuating weight, and they’ve both been photographed wasted out of their minds entirely too many times. That’s why these photos of Christina reminded me of Jessica Simpson: the sad drunk face that breaks your heart right before it vomits.

The most important difference between these two ladies though? Jessica has always had some sort of charm about her, I feel. Like I’ve always felt sorry for her and hoped that she’d find her way, but Christina … I’m not wishing anything bad on her, but ugh, what an insufferable bitch.

Do you guys see the similarities here?

Images courtesy of Yeeeah

October 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily

9Blind Item: Christina Aguilera Is A “Hot Disheveled Mess”

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Am I jumping the gun with this one? Maybe. But you let me know one other woman who fits this description, just one other woman, and I’ll take it back*.

Check out this blind item describing the recent behavior of Christina Aguilera (or whoever):

This former A list female singer and now still a great singer, but more of a hot disheveled mess with lots of money to burn would be a more accurate description. Our singer has been partying a lot. She knows she parties and she knows she has way too much drink many nights of the week. Since her significant other is not any better about partying and can’t trust him to save her if she starts to die during the night, she has a baby monitor that she takes with her wherever she goes. One goes in her room and one goes in the room of her bodyguard. Always. She leaves them on 24 hours a day just in case she forgets to turn it on before she goes to sleep. So, the various bodyguards that have come into her life the past six months or so have heard everything from the craziest loudest fights to the craziest loudest sex, to the craziest loudest snoring from a woman that has ever been heard.

Yeah. Doesn’t that just ooze Christina? Couldn’t you just see her carrying around a little baby monitor, being all “no, you don’t understand, bodyguard, I could die. I could die. You don’t understand. Where’s my boyfriend? Where’s my drink? Waaaaaah!” Because I could. I could so hard.

Any other guesses, or do you think Christina is the obvious answer?

*I’ll never take it back.

October 11, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily

0Christina Aguilera Still Has That Boyfriend, Doesn’t Look So Bad

photo of christina aguilera 2011 weight loss pics

I know I don’t have a lot of good to say about Christina Aguilera, but that’s sort of because there really isn’t a lot of good to say about her (she’s got a great voice, that’s a start), but in this photo, guys, she’s looking pretty good. Not, you know, Emma Watson-good or even Eva Mendes-good, but good as in she isn’t wearing too much of a Lindsay Lohan drunkface these days, and her totally obvious laying-off-the-alcohol is working. She looks far less swollen and her eyes are starting to return to their normal color. The jaundice is almost gone!

Good for you girl, and keep up the great work.

October 6, 2011 at 4:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Christina Aguilera