That’s the question of the day, isn’t it? How could sushi damage Charlie Sheen‘s reputation? The question was asked by Sam Zherka, a man who owns a strip club named Cheetahs, but let’s ponder it for a minute before we get into the story. Can you think of any reasons why sushi could hurt Charlie Sheen? Maybe because it’s so delicious that it … maybe because it’s wonderful enough to … I don’t even know, I just want some sushi now.

From The New York Post:

Charlie Sheen threatened to sue New York strip club Cheetahs for millions, claiming a VIP room named in his honor — where guests eat sushi off the bodies of scantily clad women — could damage his reputation.

Topless mecca Cheetahs set up a VIP room named after the warlock last year following his infamous tiger blood-fueled TV appearances. For $250 a head, guests could eat sushi off the body of the club’s goddesses in the privacy of the “Charlie Sheen Room,” which was plastered with grinning pictures of him.

But Sheen’s lawyers made sure Cheetahs would not be winning with that strategy. They slapped chiefs of the West 43rd Street “gentlemen’s club” with a cease-and-desist letter, demanding the room be immediately dismantled.

Sam Zherka, president of the parent company that owns Cheetahs, told Page Six it created the Charlie Sheen space a year ago because, “We figured it would be comical to name a room after him. It was a room where you could dine on sushi served on cellophane on the body of one of our entertainers, not where you do crack.

“Then we got notification from his lawyer to cease and desist, claiming the usage of his name would be detrimental to his persona. They said they would sue us for millions if we carried on.

“How could sushi damage Charlie Sheen’s reputation?” Zherka mused. “We thought dedicating a room to dine in his honor would help repair and elevate his image. He should have called us up and thanked us.

“We have now removed his name, he wasn’t doing big business for us anyway. We had a little ritual and threw his image in garbage — a celebration of Charlie Sheen being dumped.”

Sheen’s lawyer, Marty Singer, said: “We sent a cease-and-desist letter and they complied. This matter has nothing to do with Sheen’s reputation. You can’t use any celebrity name to promote a business without permission. They had no right to use his name.”

This brings up so many questions. Why sushi? Is there some sort of connection between Charlie Sheen and sushi that I’ve never heard of? Why would you even think of sushi as something to eat off a stripper? Do you use chopsticks, or do you just open your mouth and go for it? Wouldn’t that be too messy? Would the woman have wasabi nipples? And, most importantly, after all the crazy shit that Charlie Sheen has done, does anyone really think this is what’s going to end his career?

Hey! Remember a scant few days ago when Charlie Sheen phoned TMZ and said he was “tired of pretending Ashton doesn’t suck“?

Sorry about that, Ashton!

Charlie would like to formally submit this apology:

Dear Ashton-
My bad.
I was disrespectful to a man doing his best.
I got excited and threw you into a crossfire.
The rest of my statement I stand behind.
You, however, deserve better.
Safety in your travels good sir.
- The “late” Charlie Harper

Ah-ha! So Charlie Sheen still thinks Two and a Half Men sucks, but he never meant to include Ashton in his takedown. Sure!

(I especially like how his note reads a little like the type of love poem you’d leave on somebody’s windshield.)

OK, seriously, what’s Sheen’s game, here? I’m half-convinced he’s trying to drum up more interest in his upcoming TV series Anger Management by being blithely, barely controversial.

Oh, Charlie Sheen, you bad boy of television with all your truth bullets. Whatever works!

“I’m tired of pretending Ashton doesn’t suck. I’m tired of lying … I’m tired of pretending the show doesn’t suck … I’m tired of pretending Ashton doesn’t suck. It’s nothing personal … I just feel bad for him … he’s saddled with such bad writing.”

Oh Charlie Sheen! You’re doing something I can finally get behind! Bashing Ashton Kutcher in a back-handed sort of way? Yes, thank you! … But wait – did you guys know that Charlie’s going to be starring in his own series on FX, Anger Management? Because he is! Yeah, it’s old news, but the hype is really starting to generate, and I’m sure that his above comments regarding Ashton have a lot to do with stirring up some publicity for the show, which just cast Selma Blair and Shawnee Smith. From Hollywood Reporter:

[Shawnee] Smith will play Charlie’s ex-wife Jennifer, a role billed as a sexy woman who doesn’t exactly have it together. Married young, she never found an identity outside of Charlie. They divorced after he spent years cheating on her, but they remain close and are raising their teen daughter together.

The other woman in Charlie’s life belongs to [Selma] Blair, who has been cast to play his therapist, Kate, a character described as beautiful, if a bit neurotic. As his former team psychologist, she helped Sheen’s Charlie control his anger. Now, she is both his friend and his therapist with benefits.

The series is loosely based on the same-named feature film, which starred Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. Charlie Sheen will, obviously, be playing the role that Nicholson took in the movie. Anger Management will also be Charlie’s first real television endeavor since being fired from Two and a Half Men last year.

Funnily enough, there’s also a rumor going around that Charlie Sheen had previously “reached out” to Demi Moore to help him further the show’s popularity. Entertainmentwise claims that Charlie approached Demi to guest star in the sitcom prior to her hospitalization (presumably as another blow to the Two and a Half Men franchise), but there’s been no word to confirm one way or the other.

So, what do you guys think – will Anger Management blow Two and a Half Men out of the water when it debuts in June, or will this be another Charlie Sheen fail?

Around this time last year, Charlie Sheen was just starting to go off the deep end. It was in January of 2011 that Charlie went on his first well-publicized adventure with cocaine and booze and hookers and ambulance rides, and it was in January that Two and a Half Men first went on hiatus so Charlie could go to rehab. It doesn’t seem like that long ago, does it? Oh yeah, that’s because the crazy went on for months and months, huh?

But good news, everybody! The crazy train has stopped, and a lucid, somewhat charming Charlie Sheen stepped off of it! Yep, despite what you think after checking out the photo above (sweet robe, Charlie), this man is 100% back on track:

“I’m not crazy any more. That was an episode,” Sheen says, laughing, as he spoke with reporters at Sunday night’s Fox Network Television Critics Association party in Pasadena, Calif.

“I think I’m a different person than I was yesterday. Everything is a lot more mellow and focused and much more rooted in reality.”

Of late, Sheen says instead of sounding off on Twitter, “I’ve been spending a lot of time with the kids, a lot of time with the family and I’m getting back into work mode,” adding that he is goddess-free these days. “I’m a single guy hanging out with my children.”

Asked if he has been in contact with his former Two and a Half Men costar Jon Cryer, or producer Chuck Lorre, Sheen says, “Jon and I text. Chuck, no, but at some point we are going to have to get some closure there.”

In a different interview, Charlie took some time to explain exactly what kicked off his crazy behavior last year:

It was a lot about what had been going on for all those years on the (“Two and a Half Men”) set and it was also about the pressure cooking of 30 years in the business and finally wanting to say all the things that I didn’t. And I said them all at once and it created a tsunami of bizarre proportions. But no, the reason that I pushed it is that I knew I was right. I knew I was absolutely right in my stand.

Sounds good, Charlie! It’s good to know that 2011 was just a little episode! See you in 2013 when you have your next one, all right?

Me, I picked Courtney Stodden. Not only is she a true American, as you can see in the classy photo above, but we could trade makeup tips, she could show me where to get cool and stylish arm bands, and I could figure out the best, most tactful way to tell her that none of her shoes fit and it looks gross. Yes, Courtney Stodden would make a fine, fine neighbor.

But you know what? Apparently this real estate blog called Zillow does this survey every year in which they ask people which celebrity they would most like to have as a neighbor and which celebrity would be the absolute worst neighbor. And you know who was named the most desirable neighbor? The person who most people would want to have next door? Tim Tebow. Ugh, can you imagine? How boring. I’d be like “Tim, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, if you’re going to kneel and pray again, do it in your own damn yard.”

Still, good ol’ Tebow managed to bring in 11% of votes. Brad and Angelina weren’t far behind though: they got 10%. Following Brangelina was Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux at 9%, Jennifer Lopez with 6%, Beyonce and Jay-Z with 5%, and for whatever reason, Nancy Grace and Kim Kardashian tied with 4% of the votes. The remainder of the vote was split between “other” and “none of the above,” though I can’t figure out why the survey would have both of those choices.

But what about the survey for the least desirable neighbor? How would that vote turn out? For me, my neighbors in real life have had loud screaming matches that I can hear every word of from my apartment (it’s two couples living in a two bedroom apartment, and one of the dudes has a lady on the side that his lady in the apartment has a pretty good idea about), they do laundry for 40 hours straight (I counted), and they left dog feces wrapped in a napkin in front of our window, and that was just this week! So I can’t really think of any celebrity worse than that, so … wait. Courtney Love sets things on fire in her home. That might be worse.

According to America, however, the cast of Jersey Shore win the highest honors with 28% of voters naming them the worst neighbors. Next is Charlie Sheen with 21%, Lindsay Lohan with 14%, Kim Kardashian with 13%, Nancy Grace and Brad and Angelina are tied at 3%, Anthony Weiner had 2% of votes, and the rest, again, were either “other” or “none of the above.”

But what about you, friends? Is there any celebrity that you think would be a delight to have as a neighbor, or any that would be absolutely horrible? Are you still trying to figure out why any number of people would want to live next to Jennifer Lopez? Because I’m there too. We don’t have to be alone in this.

What, it’s an honest question. I only ask because Gawker reports that CNN Money reports that Charlie Sheen is anticipated to be the most popular costume this Halloween. And CNN could well be dead-on: you wouldn’t believe how many Charlie Sheen “party supplies” are out there (no, that was not a veiled cocaine joke). So you see, I have to ask what you’re planning to go as for Halloween, because it would be SO EMBARRASSING if we went to that house party on Division Street wearing the same thing.

More from CNN Money:

In a growing trend toward pop-culture references, top choices for women include Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and Snooki (or any member of the gang from the Jersey Shore cast). As for the kids, it’s all about the popular mobile phone app Angry Birds.

Thanks in part to the AMC series The Walking Dead, zombies are also making a big comeback, according to a separate report by the National Retail Federation.

CNN Money adds that the National Retail Federation (which is a real, actual thing, evidently) expects the average American to spend $73.21 on Halloween crap. Of course, if you’re an especially big spender, I happen to know where you can get a pretty intense Charlie Sheen mask.