2Denise Richards Is Watching Charlie Sheen’s Kids Because She Didn’t Have a Choice

Well, that’s nice. Denise Richards may be looking after Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller‘s kids while they’re both too busy snorting coke lines off of public restroom toilet seats and being colossal fuck-ups instead of being parents, but she’s really only doing it because there’s no one else and, you know, she’s got a heart.

From US Weekly:

“You just figure it out because you don’t have a choice. You have these children depending on you,” she explained to Us of how she manages. “You prioritize. I had children because I want to be a parent, and I want to be there for them.”

“I think my biggest challenge is [that] their different activities sometimes overlap,” she added, noting that she tries to attend everything. “I have a good schedule going. You just manage.”

“My situation with Charlie is that we’ve gotten along for quite some time now, and it’s so much better,” she told Us. “There are a lot of feelings and emotions there, but at the end of the day, our daughters benefit from us getting along, and [I do], too.”

“I don’t want to have an unhealthy relationship with him, something toxic with a lot of animosity. Life’s too short for that,” she continued. “We actually enjoy hanging out, and we enjoy being with the kids.”

Huh, well, I guess I’ve gotta hand it to Denise Richards – raising your own kids isn’t easy, but taking on your ex’s when you’re not even together anymore? Danger zone, girl. I wonder if Bob and Max – Mueller’s kids – are ever like, “Yo Denise, where the hell are our parents?” Probably not, but they have to wonder why they’re staying with her.

May 20, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

2Charlie Sheen’s Ex Wife And Lindsay Lohan Meet Up In Rehab

Charlie Sheen really knows how to bring people together. His ex wife, Brooke Mueller, was recently admitted to The Betty Ford Center. That happens to be where Lindsay Lohan is staying for her mandatory rehabbing. Coincidence?

Apparently Lohan’s already run into Mueller, and no, it wasn’t with her car. Good job, Lohan! You’re getting better already.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan could be getting support from someone who has done cocaine waaaay more than 4 or 5 times … ’cause Brooke Mueller’s in the house!

Sources familiar with cocaine tell TMZ … Brooke and Lindsay are currently staying in the hospital wing at The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage.  In fact we’re told they’ve already run into each other and exchanged pleasantries … not drugs.

Mueller and Sheen’s children were removed from her home last week due to suspected (and now confirmed) drug abuse, which explains why Mueller is in rehab currently.

I think the most amazing thing about all of this is that Charlie Sheen isn’t in there with him. How is Charlie Sheen not in jail or in rehab right now? How does he get through everything unscathed? And not just unscathed, but celebrated?

May 10, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

3Brooke Mueller Is Definitely In Hospital for Drug Abuse

No one really knew where in the hell Brooke Mueller was after authorities took her and Charlie Sheen‘s two kids and handed them over to Denise Richards for a nice long babysitting spell. Well, now we have a bit of an update – Brooke’s in hospital for drug abuse issues… again. After detoxing, she’s due to hit a residential treatment center, which I’m sure will totally be successful and not at all another massive f-cking waste of time as per usual.

From US Weekly:

“Despite reports to the contrary, Brooke is currently at UCLA Medical Center where she has been since being admitted May 3,” a rep for Mueller, 35, tells Us Weekly.

Rumors circulated that Mueller — who has struggled with substance abuse before — had been admitted to a psychiatric facility. Clarifies her rep: “Brooke will be [at UCLA Medical Center] for several more days, and will likely transition directly into a residential treatment facility to get help for prescription drug abuse.”

In a talked-about arrangement, Bob and Max are currently staying with their father’s second ex-wife, Denise Richards. “Brooke misses her children, and wants to get healthy so she can resume her life and get back to being a mom,” the rep continues.

I’d just like to mention that this is Brooke’s 20th time in rehab. TWENTY. This woman has had TWENTY times to get her shit together for the sake of her children, if she didn’t give enough of a shit about herself (which clearly she didn’t). What in the hell is wrong with people?

May 7, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

3Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Are Disasters; Their Kids Are Safest With Denise Richards

Charlie Sheen‘s kids were taken from his ex wife Brooke Mueller last night. Sheen and Mueller have twin boys that are in Mueller’s custody but were taken after deeming her home “unsafe” and given to Sheen’s other ex wife, Denise Richards, because Charlie Sheen is f-cking crazy and shouldn’t be around children. Richards and Sheen have 2 daughters who are also in her custody.

From TMZ:

Sources close to the situation tell TMZ … officials from the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services arrived to Brooke’s home Thursday with a warrant — and took 4-year-old Bob and Max out of the house.

… Sources tell us … officials determined Brooke’s home was unsafe because they suspected she was using drugs again — something she’s been struggling with for years — and they believed the children were in danger.

We’re told a court hearing has been set for next week — in the hopes of finding a more permanent solution regarding where the children should live.

It’s unclear why Charlie was not given temporary custody of the kids — but let’s get serious, even Sheen knows they’re in better hands with Denise.

Yup, agreed on that one, TMZ. I think we are all aware of the madness that is Charlie Sheen’s life. Lindsay Lohan bullshit aside, his real problems are his questionable parenting skills and tempter, like when he pulled a knife on Mueller. As for Mueller, she’s been in and out of rehab quite a bit. She was also arrested and charged with possession and intent to distribute. So basically both parents are unstable at this time.

Ms. Richards has full-time custody of her kids with Sheen, so at some point it was decided that she is the best person to take care of Mueller and Sheens’ boys. Considering that she Mueller seem to get along and that she loves Mueller and Sheens’ kids, this all worked out really, really well. Those kids could easily be in the custody of CPS.

BUT Denise Richards has had her own share of problems lately, and has caused some alarm for looking very, very thin.

Denise AKA Dr. Christmas Jones from the worst Bond movie ever, responded to the criticism saying,

I don’t know why lately I’ve been getting so much flak for it [being skinny]. I have a very healthy lifestyle, and I’m busy. — (via NY Daily News).

In all fairness, if Charlie Sheen was my ex husband, I think I would also look gaunt and exhausted.

May 3, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

5Brooke Mueller is in Rehab, Because Duh, This Face Loves Adderall

I know we haven’t really talked about this lady much, and every time we do, it’s got something to do with drugs, or Charlie Sheen, or rehab, or all three, and this time it’s got to do with everything except for Charlie Sheen, but hey. We can’t win them all, all of the time, right? Anyway, it’s been juuuust over a year since we last talked about Brooke and cocaine, so on this day, this 53rd week since we last spoke of Brooke Mueller, we’re going to talk about Brooke Mueller and Adderall, because that’s why she’s voluntarily heading to rehab.

See, it all happened earlier in the week—Brooke was photographed leaving Mr Chow in Los Angeles, and that picture up there? The one with demon eyes and the crooked-mouthed crack leer? That’s how she looked, and even though the very next morning after looking like this she was taken to the hospital for “dehydration” and “exhaustion,” it turns out it was actually for an Adderall overdose, which is really, really surprising, considering how together Brooke normally is*.

A rep for Brooke has confirmed that, though it took a good few days of coercion (and detoxification, I’d guess), Brooke made the big-girl decision to go to rehab and get her life right. Ahem, again. She checked into rehab last night, thus marking her nineteenth stint in rehab. Yes, you read that right—count ‘em, nineteen times. In rehab. 19. 18+1. NINETEEN.

Good luck, Brooke! Go get ‘em, tiger!

*It’s actually not at all really, really surprising.

December 11, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah

1Yikes! Charlie Sheen’s Ex Charged with “Intent to Distribute”

Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, allegedly assaulted a woman in a bar Friday night (the bar was called, incidentally, the “Belly Up”). So Aspen police followed Mueller to a different bar (the “Escobar Aspen”), where they discovered Mueller was also hopped up on coke.

She was arrested and charged with “possession with intent to distribute”—A CLASS FOUR FELONY—and released on $11,000 bond.

TMZ additionally reports:

But right before all that happened, Brooke DANCED HER FACE OFF.

And it’s true! TMZ somehow filched this security footage; in it, you can see Brooke Mueller boogying. Well, or weaving unsteadily, but whatever.

Mueller’s representative, Steve Honig, “declined to comment.” Can you believe it? Brooke Mueller and Lindsay Lohan have the same PR guy! Figures.

(Image via the Daily Telegraph.)

December 4, 2011 at 1:00 pm by Jenn