The last time we really heard anything about Billy Ray Cyrus was all the way back in March. It was that time that he was going to divorce his wife but then changed his mind, remember? Since then, the well of Billy Ray gossip has run woefully dry, but not anymore, friends. No, because now, the magic of Twitter brings us the knowledge that Billy Ray Cyrus is hunting UFOs.

Here’s his darling Tweet:

O. K. . ..my first U F O sighting.Looks like 5 or 6 disk like shapes hovering. Special moment 4 DAD

And, since I care about you, here’s the photo itself:

Well, what do we think?  Did Billy Ray spot a handful of UFOs, or did Billy Ray spot the sun?

“Big thanks to all of our family, friends, and fans who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers. I feel so blessed to have so much support from all of you. Our family weathered a huge storm and I feel we are stronger than we have ever been. Much love to all of you guys! You’re the BEST!”

Tish Cyrus on being thankful that Billy Ray’s no longer leaving with his Achy Breaky money and leaving her to grovel at Bret Michael’s feet. (Because, of course, she’d do much, much better at the feet of someone like Charlie Sheen – good old Charlie doesn’t seem to discriminate all that much these days.)

In case you guys didn’t know, the Cyrus clan is no longer a broken family: Billy Ray called off the divorce early last week, and to celebrate, the family’s going to have a good, old-fashioned hoe-down this weekend, where Tish will be forcibly held down and formally exorcised of her evil, cheating spirits (don’t worry, I hear they’re almost gone, you guys).

All of you Billy Ray Cyrus/Tish Finley fans can heave a giant, toothy sigh of relief: Billy Ray has announced that he’s retracted his bid for divorce.

Billy Ray, who’s going to be on The View this week, tells his supporters that he ‘finally fixed his family,’ and wants to move on with life:

“I’ve dropped the divorce. I want to put my family back together … Things are the best they’ve ever been. I feel like I got my Miley back in a way. I feel like we are the daddy and daughter that we were before Hannah Montana happened.”

But even though he said in previous interviews that Hannah Montana ruined his family, he’s taking those words back too:

“I don’t think Hannah Montana ruined my family … Now fame, fame is a different animal. You’ve got to be careful with that thing.”

Call me crazy, or call me country or whatever, but I get what he’s saying, and you know what? I am IN this FAMILY’S corner. I’m glad to hear that another family that was almost destroyed by Disney is back on the mend, because fuck. I think Disney’s helped enough families along the path to destruction, haven’t they?

“It is very important to me to work on mending my family right now. My family is the most important thing I have, and we are working together to make sure our future is stronger and healthier.”

Billy Ray Cyrus, speaking out in defense of his recent comments about how Hannah Montana ruined his family, and how much he regrets placing his kids – and marriage – in the spotlight of celebrity scrutiny.

Call me naive, but I believe this guy, you know. I think he’s being pretty genuine. I mean, it’s not as if he’s Michael-fucking-Lohan or anything – I truly think he loves his plaid-wearing, pickin’-and-grinnin’ family, and I think that it’s a good thing that he wants to heal his family and what not. However? True healing is probably going to occur behind closed doors, not through media outlets and ‘accidental’ interviews.

Ol’ Billy Ray has definitely got some good intentions and I hope the best for him and his family, but something like this is definitely going to take some time.

After reading this story and relating it to you guys, I’m going to head to the kitchen to soak my eyes in a nice, tall, acidic glass of orange juice, and throw a giant dollop of vodka in there for good measure. Then I’m going to swish the eyes around in the glass (carefully, mind you; hard to do this shit with, you know, no eyes), suck the entire thing back – eyes and all – and let the whole mess digest in my stomach. Because the eyes? They’re so much better off down there, closer to my own bowels, than of the bowels of this story, which are sure to get blacker and stinkier before things get better.

Apparently Billy Ray Cyrus was the one who filed for divorce against his wife of a few decades, Tish Finley-Cyrus, because she couldn’t keep it in her pants, and had a long-standing affair with Bret Michaels, who Miley Cyrus has an odd musical affinity for. Or maybe … aw, fuck no, I’m not going down that road. But I will say, who knows – maybe these crazy sumbitches really do keep it all in the family. So, yeah. Gross. From Us Weekly:

Michaels, 47, “became close to the entire family” this past February when he and Miley released the racy duet “Nothing to Lose,” an insider tells Us Weekly.

He and Tish, 43, soon began carrying on an on-the-sly romance, sources tell Us Weekly. Tish was seen at Michaels’ Feb. 28 show at the Key Club in L.A., and he had once asked her production company’s help to adapt his book, Roses & Thorns, into a movie.

“Billy Ray was completely unaware of what was going on,” the source says of the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner, who is seeking joint custody of their three minor children, Miley (who turns 18 Nov. 23), Braison, 16, and Noah, 10. (They have three older children from previous relationships.)

Though a rep for Michaels refutes the allegations, telling Us Weekly, “There has never been an affair or a fling,” and a rep for Tish also denies the dalliance, the Cyrus source insists, “It was a professional relationship that turned into something more.”

So there you have it guys. They’re clearly sleeping together. Like, as we speak. While listening to “Achy, Breaky Heart.” On a zebra-print rug in front of Bret’s heart-shaped, rose-adorned bed.

… Git your glasses ready, Shep … I’m on my way out the kitch’n and I’ma headin’ for that big ol’ bottle!

Yup, the Hollywood couple that you thought for sure would last the strains of time and Botox, shitty country songs, many pointless name changes, and teenage girls with identity crises who wear skimpy costumes and influence their toddler sisters to debut lingerie lines — it’s official:  Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Finley are gittin’ a dee-vorce!

The couple, who cited irreconcilable differences, filed for the legality late yesterday afternoon in Tennessee, and released this joint statement to their ‘fans’:

“As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family. We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.”

This, after seventeen years of marriage and forty kids. Well hell. Sorry to hear that your marriage didn’t work out, guys, but hey. There’s always Dollywood. And the profits from that horrendous Walmart clothing line.