Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Beyonce

Beyonce wants to sell you expensive vegan food

beyonce

A little over a year ago, Beyonce and Jay-Z decided to go vegan for a whopping 22 days. Instead of doing it for animal welfare reasons, it seemed more like a crash diet that they took part in because it was hip and trendy – especially since they broke this vegan phase with a massive dinner of seafood and fried chicken, if I remember right.

Anyhoo, Beyonce has realised she doesn’t have enough money and that the Beyhive will basically do anything to be like her, so she’s joined up with ~fitness guru~ Marco Borges to start selling you vegan meals delivered to your home – for just $150 a week! The business is called 22 Days Nutrition – based off Borges’ idea that it takes 21 days to form a new habit and by day 22, you’re on your way to being a healthier person.

Here’s the press release for this nonsense:

The home delivery service was born out of a demand from Borges’ friends, colleagues and clients who enjoyed his delicious meals that were naturally low in fat, sugar and salt and filled with flavor from whole-foods such as vegetables, beans, grains, herbs and spices.  The home delivery program takes away all the guesswork and makes it easy to adopt the plan.

“I am so grateful that I took the challenge and credit Marco with leading by example,” says Beyonce.  “He is the most energetic person I know and it’s all because of his decision to live a healthy lifestyle.  He came up with a great program to get people motivated to make better nutritional choices.  All you have to do is try.  If I can do it, anyone can.  I am excited to partner with him.”

The longtime fitness expert, who has been a leader in the field for over 20 years, says it’s really not about asking everyone to become a vegan but rather to make simple healthier food choices so they can live a more energetic and productive life.

“I am humbled by this incredible partnership and excited to share the many benefits of a whole-foods plant-based diet,” says Borges.

“We all know the importance and value of eating plant-based foods but often times find ourselves trapped in a series of bad habits that sabotage optimum wellness. The Vegan Meal Delivery program makes it easier to reset your habits with healthy and delicious plant-based foods.”

I don’t think food or fitness is one size fits all in any way, shape or form. If you wanna be vegan and live on mostly carbs, sure, knock yourself out. It doesn’t make you healthier than non-vegans. Also, charging someone $150 for a week’s worth of food is absolute bullshit. Then again, home meal delivery services aren’t anything new. It’s just a shame that people will still buy into this crap instead of, you know, taking the time to buy your own groceries, prepare your own foods at home.

I’m sure Beyonce will get even richer from this, though, so I guess good for her? You know, despite the fact that I’m preeeeetty sure she’s not vegan anymore and doesn’t follow this shit herself (which would be nothing new – lots of celebs endorse products they CLEARLY don’t use just for the money).

You can check out the 22 Days Nutrition site HERE if that’s your thing.

Are any of you vegan? Could you be vegan?

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Beyonce is NOT pregnant, says Michelle Williams

michelle williams

Y’all, I’m about to throw some major shade, but whateer. It’s such a shame that Michelle Williams can only get press by using Beyonce‘s name, but that’s the state we’re in… :( Michelle hit up The View on Monday (why, I’m not sure and I don’t care enough to try and find out), where of course everyone wanted to know what was up with that cryptic Instagram pic Bey posted which made it seem like she’s totally having another baby. Don’t worry – Michelle will set things straight!

“You know, when she was pregnant**, people said that she wasn’t pregnant and, you know, it’s just no truth to it,” the Destiny’s Child alum said. “Sorry!”

“First of all, if you look at the picture, the baby bump is like where her knees probably really are so that’s really, you know?” she added, after looking again at the Instagram.

LOL, I love that she’s gleaning her information… from Instagram, just like the rest of us. Sorry, but I doubt Bey picked up the phone to call Michelle first to make the announcement either way.

Is Beyonce pregnant? Who knows, but I don’t think Michelle Williams is the authority – she knows as much as the OTHER Michelle Williams (i.e. nothing).

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Beyonce is probably (possibly?) pregnant with her second child (for real this time)

beyonce pregnant

Beyonce can’t just do shit like a normal person, ever. She dropped her self-titled album without notice, she announced her first pregnancy with Blue Ivy while performing at the MTV VMAs… you get the drift. So why should we expect any more (less?) from Bey than to possibly announce a second pregnancy via an Instagram photo of herself at the beach, buried in sand with a giant belly?

There was no official announcement made (of course) and the photo didn’t even have a caption, but people are seriously losing their shit over this. The comments section is a madhouse you don’t even want to gaze upon lest it send you to your nearest insane asylum. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see if another Jay-Z/Beyonce offspring materializes.

Is Beyonce pregnant again?
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On another note, how delicious does this cake Blue Ivy had look? SOMEONE BRING ME THAT CAKE!

blue ivy cake

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Beyonce and Jay-Z spent Christmas in Iceland

beyonce jay-z iceland

I always wanted to go to Iceland – I think it’s a beautiful country and I’d love to hit up the hot springs. However, I don’t know that I’d choose it as my Christmas destination if I had millions of dollars at my disposal and could go anywhere on the planet. I guess it sounded like a good idea to Beyonce and Jay-Z, however, as they packed up Blue Ivy and headed there for the holidays.

Lucky for us, the Carters travel with their own personal documentarian/Photoshop expert, so we get to check out carefully selected photos from their holiday.

Enjoy the below – looks like they did.

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Beyoncé really loves herself, eh?

beyonce

Look, no one is denying that Beyoncé is the Queen of Pop. No one can come close to touching what she’s doing right now and she’s brilliant at it. I love her and I will bop her jams from here ’til forever. That being said, don’t you just feel so damn EXHAUSTED about her sometimes? Like, it’s too much, Beyoncé. It’s too much. We know you’re brilliant and we celebrate you for it… but not nearly as much as you seem to want to celebrate yourself.

On that note, Bey has released a retrospective video for the new (re-)release of her self-titled album. In the video, she talks about the woes of being famous and how as a celebrity, no one views you as a human and more boo hoo shit like that. She also claims that no one knows who she is, not even herself, and talks about her mom, her craft, etc. It’s interesting, sure, but I just feel like I need a nap to recuperate after this.

I’m so torn! I love her and this is so well done, but it’s also just so over-the-top like everything else she does most of the time. MY BRAIN IS MELTING. Especially since she spends so much time talking about how amazing our bodies are and how we’re not proud enough of ourselves. Is that why you’re hitting that Photoshop so hard, girl?

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Beyonce and Jay-Z met Kate Middleton and Prince William

william kate beyonce jay-z 2

It’s kind of a Big Deal that the future King and Queen of England (shut up, she’s MY queen!) are in New York City right now. While here, Prince William and Kate Middleton have been taking in the sites in between doing official business-y things (Will got to talk to Obama about illegal wildlife trading and Kate has visited a few children’s centers), and one of those things was hitting up a basketball game at the Barclay’s Center. Seeing a real live basketball game may have been exciting on its own, but Wills & Kate got a double dose of fun when they met none other than Jay-Z and Beyoncé! Or is it the other way around?

There’s even video (a Vine, really, but we’ll take it):


It all seems very exciting. I wonder if Bey was shitting herself? She might be the biggest star in the world, but Wills & Kate are actual royalty! Forget whether or not the monarchy is dumb or an outdated concept (I personally think it’s a wonderful tradition and their “job” is to uphold that tradition and also to do great public service work – they don’t make laws or whatever, so chill, world) – it’s a big deal.

Also also, would you EVER want to have Kate Middleton’s life? I sure as shit wouldn’t. She’s pregnant, which probably makes all this hub bub of travel and public appearances even worse, but even if she wasn’t pregnant, wouldn’t you get sick of all of the to-do? Wouldn’t you just wanna be like, “Wills, can we not just lay on the couch and watch Home Alone and order a pizza?” Something tells me that just doesn’t happen at the Palace.

Here are some more photos!

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The 5 Most Ridiculous Things Beyonce does in the ’7/11′ video

beyonce

It’s time Beyoncé came out with some new music, I guess, so she’s dropped the first single from her upcoming album. The song is called ’7/11′ and it already has a video. The “unique” concept behind it, I guess, comes from the fact that it’s all shot in home movie format – we’re meant to feel like we’ve got a sneak peak into how Beyonce lives because all of this was shot on the balconies or in the hallways of the penthouse suites she spends her life in. How do I feel about it? Eh…

It’s all downright ridiculous, really. While the entire clip is full of “WTF?” moments, the following 5 take the cake:

1. Beyonce, in a fit of laughter, sits on the bathroom floor and lifts her foot to her ear, pretending to use it as a telephone. Your foot cannot transmit or receive data.

2. Beyonce attempts to do that weird “dance” move where you hold your leg in front of you and then jump over it with the other leg. She fails.

3. Beyonce and friends crowd around a small pile of bills – the bills look to be small denominations and add up to probably no more than $100. Hardly ballin’ out.

4. Beyonce wears a blue sweatshirt that says “KALE” in large letters. Kale is gross.

5. Beyonce has a split second light saber fight with a fully masked/hooded villain who disappears as soon as he appears.

And that’s just to name a few.

The beat of the song is fantastic – whoever Beyonce has producing for her now is great – but I just don’t know what any of it means. I don’t think pop music (or any kind of art) has to mean something – it can certainly exist for itself without reference to anything else, but something is just… missing. Then again, I thought that about the self-titled album for about half a day and now I will lose my mind to it, so… there’s that. ‘

What do you think?