Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Benedict Cumberbatch

Bad news, Cumberbitches – Benedict Cumberbatch is engaged!

benedict cumberbatch

Cumberbitches, show yourselves, and prepare for some very sad news. The lanky British object of your affection, Benedict Cumberbatch, is engaged to be married and therefore will be unavailable to fulfill your greatest fantasies now or any time in future. That’s right, he’s marring 36-year-old theatre director and actress Sophie Hunter, and he made his announcement like all rich English people: in The Times.

“The engagement is announced between Benedict, son of Wanda and Timothy Cumberbatch of London, and Sophie, daughter of Katherine Hunter of Edinburgh and Charles Hunter of London.”

Benedict is listed as “Mr. B.T. Cumberbatch” and Sophie is “Miss S.I. Hunter” – so dignified, right? There’s no date for the wedding, obviously (and it wouldn’t really be in the paper even if there was), but at least you all have time to come to terms with this news and prepare yourself for a bleak, Benedict-less future. Sorry, ladies (and any applicable gents).

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Benedict Cumberbatch’s Strange Looks Are a Blessing

benedict cumberbatch

We all know that Benedict Cumberbatch is one weird looking motherfucker. Ladies seem to love it! He’s got no shortage of female fans – the Cumberbitches – and his fair share of male fans, as well. Awesomely, he owns it – he knows he’s a bit of an odd one, and in fact it’s worked out in his career quite nicely for him, thank you very much.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

“[There is a] blessing of having a weird face, somewhere between an otter and something people find vaguely attractive. Or just an otter which is vaguely attractive.”

“In all seriousness, I grew up with this face and it’s been in the industry for 10 years and now it’s getting on these ‘Hottie’ lists.

“It doesn’t make any sense because I was nowhere near the thousandth hottest face when I started out. So, I know a lot of it’s projection, which is flattering about the work.”

Well, fair enough. Frankly, I think his name’s stranger than his face, but you know, he’s just got that aristocratic, 18th century look about him. It makes him perfect for period pieces and quirky shit, which is exactly what he’s made his career on, so get yours, Benny.

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Can You Say Benedict Cumberbatch’s Name?

benedict cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch gets teased a lot for his weird name, I guess. Some people can’t say it, some people thinks it’s the name of an STD… you get the drift. Poor Benny just wants to be understood, and it’s all his parents’ fault that he can’t be.

From The Mirror:

“Some people don’t understand my name. Some people think it is an STD, but I don’t think that is what my parents were thinking about when they christened me.”

I mean, it is a pretty wacky name, but it’s also a posh name, so you know, deal with it. You could just be called “Ben”, really, if you wanted to simplify things. I’m sure lots of his friends probably do call him that, because saying a three syllable name all the time would make anyone’s tongue tired. I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know that I have never had a problem pronouncing the words “Benedict Cumberbatch” and I’m not sure who, in all seriousness, really would if they looked and read it off a piece of paper (save for those with actual learning disabilities).

On a more interesting note, who’s excited for new episodes of Sherlock?

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Benedict Cumberbatch: Still Posh

benedict cumberbatch

I’m soooooo fucking tired of hearing Benedict Cumberbatch talk about how he’s persecuted for being posh. SO tired. Boo hoo, the press keeps making fun of me for being upper class! Life is so hard as a rich white man who’s also incredibly famous! How will I ever go on? Give me break, dude. Also, the “I’m not that posh, anyway – I don’t talk like a posh person” thing is also getting old.

From GQ (via Metro):

“All the posh-baiting that goes on… it’s so predictable, so domestic, so dumb.”

“I’m an upper middle-class kid. I know that’s counted as posh, but then I know people who I would call posh, and I don’t talk like them.”

Posh-baiting? Like, is he for real? He’s legitimately acting as if rich people are persecuted? –__–

I really haven’t been able to for a while with this dude, but now I REALLY can’t. But wait, here’s a bonus! He met Madonna and they made fun of each other’s names:

Recalling his run-in with the Madonna, 55, the Star Trek actor quipped: ‘She said, “You’re the one with the strange name”. I said, “Yes, I am, Madonna”.

…LOL, I guess?

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Oopsies! Benedict Cumberbatch’s ‘The Fifth Estate’ Is a Box Office Flop

Benedict Cumberbatch as Julian Assange in The Fifth Estate

Benedict Cumberbatch probably thought he’d scooped the role of a lifetime when he decided to play WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange in The Fifth Estate. In theory, it could have been an incredibly interesting and dramatic film, but in actuality, it turned into a massive box office flop, making only $1.7 million on its opening weekend. That makes it one of the worst openings of 2013, with an average of $969 per-screen. Ha!

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Assange’s longtime campaign against Bill Condon‘s WikiLeaks movie The Fifth Estate culminated with the renegade website offering free downloads of its own documentary Mediastan just as Fifth Estate was released in North America by Disney’s Touchstone label.

“This weekend,” Assange said in a statement, “instead of wasting your time and money on Hollywood propaganda, why not get all your friends around and spend your time watching Mediastan instead?”

Regardless of what role Mediastan played, Fifth Estate quickly died, grossing a paltry $1.7 million from 1,769 theaters — the worst opening of the year so far for a movie opening in more than 1,500 theaters.

There were no immediate stats available in terms of how many times Mediastan was downloaded in North America. Last weekend, 500,000 people downloaded a free copy of the documentary when it was made available to coincide with Fifth Estate‘s release in the U.K. (that would equal $4.2 million in U.S. box office receipts).

“We’re disappointed with these results,” said Disney distribution chief Dave Hollis, noting that Fifth Estate did best in big cities, including New York, San Francisco, Washington D.C., Los Angeles and Toronto. The pic also skewed slightly male (54 percent).

I can’t think of anything I want to see less than The Fifth Estate, but I’m also not all that interested in Mediastan (though documentaries are more exciting than fictionalised accounts based on true stories, I feel). What do you think? Have you seen either of them? Will you? I will say it’s a shame to see a Stanley Tucci movie tank.

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Here’s the ‘August: Osage County’ Trailer

meryl streep julia roberts julianne nicholson

I will turn up for pretty much anything Meryl Streep puts her name on because she’s a goddess, and despite the somewhat bizarre casting in August: Osage County, I will have to see this movie because it kinda works, actually. In case you don’t know anything about the story, it’s based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Tracy Letts and it’s all about a dysfunctional family who reunites in Oklahoma when they’re forced to return for a funeral.

We’ve got Julia Roberts, Abigail Breslin, Ewan McGregor, Benedict Cumberbatch, Juliette Lewis… this has some serious potential. Well, now we’ve also got a trailer for the film, which comes out on November 8. What do you think? I’m so on board.

PS – did you guys know Abigail Breslin has a financial incentive clause written into her contract for the movie? She got paid $75,000 for working on the movie (which only took 2 weeks) but can apparently earn $50,000 more if she gets a Golden Globe for the role, and an additional $50,000 if she gets an Oscar. That’s such a weird clause, but I guess pretty clever? (Not gonna happen, though.)

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Want to See Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange? Okay!

Oh, man – not sure if you know this, but Benedict Cumberbatch is playing WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange in the upcoming film The Fifth Estate, alongside Daniel Brühl as Daniel Domscheit-Berg. Sounds like a rip-roaring time, eh? I’m sure it’ll be an interesting “thriller” for the critics, but holy hell, it sounds boring.

Laura Linney, Stanley Tucci, Dan Stevens and Alicia Vikander are also in the movie, which opens in October. Will you see this shit show? Did this movie come about a year too late? Can Stanley Tucci save this movie like he’s saved so many others? Does anyone care?