Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Angelina Jolie

ANGELINA JOLIE IS PREGNANT. AGAIN.

Can you even believe it? Before the news has really hit anywhere, we have the exclusive that Angelina Jolie is pregnant and currently expecting her … I don’t know, what is this, her ninth kid? Tenth? Whatever. The thing that matters is that there are hungry children in the world and gay couples who aren’t allowed to marry yet, but Brad and Angelina are adding to the world’s population and planning a sure-to-be-stellar wedding event that’s going to cost what it’d take to feed a medium-sized country for a year probably going to happen before that tiny belly pops.

Congrats, guys!

Quotables: Jennifer Aniston Totally Doesn’t Care That Brad Pitt’s Marrying That Woman

photo of brad angelina jen pictures photos
“She doesn’t care. She really doesn’t. She’s happy with Justin [Theroux]. She’ll probably marry him. She’s moved on. People don’t want to believe it, but she has.”

The wise, sage words above came directly from one of Jen’s “close friends” who leaked the unofficial statement that Jennifer probably paid him or her to make to the media. And while I’d like to think that Jennifer doesn’t care, as some of her friends say, she does care, and she probably cares a whole lot. Hollywood Life tells a different story—one where Jennifer Aniston actually does care, and wishes the newly-engaged couple well:

“Jennifer is happy for Brad and Angelina. She is so in love with Justin, that she is really grateful how things turned out. In a strange way if it weren’t for Angelina, Jennifer would not have connected with Justin in a romantic way. Jennifer is in a really wonderful place right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she even went to their wedding.”

But wait … And if things go south for Jennifer and Justin, she’ll, what, blame Angelina for that, too? Because what if things don’t end well? What if she doesn’t end up marrying him? She allegedly credits Angelina for her today-happiness, but if that’s only fleeting, then what? Maybe “friends” should stop making silly statements that could come back and bite the people who are involved on the ass in the long run if things don’t operate as they “should.”

Here’s my point—new information says that the Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie announcement couldn’t have come at a worse time, as Jen and Justin are said to be taking a break, one that Justin himself initiated:

Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend has reportedly suggested he needs “some space” amid claims their relationship is on the rocks.

Jennifer and Justin Theroux are said to be on a break as they have been bickering. The tensions allegedly came to a head over the Easter weekend with one report suggesting an argument between the pair reduced Jennifer to “floods of tears”. Now more speculation has surfaced, claiming Justin has asked for time apart.

“Justin suggested he needed some space, which escalated into an almighty row, and by the end of it he said he wanted a break and told Jen he had been looking into buying a place of his own in Los Angeles,” a friend told the UK edition of Grazia magazine.

So, which is it? Is she happy? Sad? Apathetic? Apathetic without the ‘a’? I don’t know anymore, guys. It’s Jennifer Aniston. She always keeps us on our toes.

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Who Wants to See A Close-Up of Angelina Jolie’s Ring?

A photo of Angelina Jolie

You guys! Remember what happened on Friday? We found out that Brad Pitt proposed to Angelina Jolie! Wasn’t that darling? I love a love story with all my heart, and this one definitely fit the bill. But let’s be real: it’s fun to look at super fancy engagement rings, right?

So here’s another shot of Angelina’s:

A photo of Angelina Jolie

What do you guys think? Because to be honest, I really, really don’t like it. Like, at all. To be fair though, I’m not really a diamond girl: my ring is a sapphire, and the only diamonds I own are a pair of earrings that my dad got for my mom when they got married. I know it’s not the most popular opinion, but I couldn’t imagine going for a diamond when there are so many gorgeous colors of gemstones to choose from! And also, I think the bigger the diamond is, the worse it looks. I’m not exactly sure how to say this, but it’s like the bigger and higher quality diamonds tend to look less like something pretty and sparkly and more like glass. Do you know what I mean?

Take Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring or Jessica Biel’s engagement ring, and then throw them in a river. No, I’m kidding, sell them and put your children through college. Just don’t wear them, because they look ridiculous. I like costume jewelry and everything, but I’m not going to wear it every day for the rest of my life, and I’m certainly not going to pay millions of dollars for it.

But then again, Brad collaborated with the jeweler for a whole year to craft the perfect ring for Angelina, so that’s very sweet.

What do you guys think? Do I just have a problem appreciating the beauty of diamonds? Do you love the ring? Can you even wait for the wedding? Let me know!

ZOMG BRAD AND ANGELINA ARE FINALLY ENGAGED

photo of angelina jolie and brad pitt pics
I don’t know why, but this information just fills me with inexplicable joy. JOY! I say. From USA Today:

“Yes, it’s confirmed,” Cynthia Pett-Dante, Pitt’s manager, told USA TODAY in a statement. “It is a promise for the future, and their kids are very happy. There’s no date set at this time.” And yes, she confirms that Pitt designed the ring.
Earlier, Beverly Hills jeweler Robert Procop confirmed to USA TODAY that he helped Pitt, 48, design a custom diamond engagement ring for Jolie, 36, with whom he has six children.

Hollywood’s platinum pair was spotted Wednesday night at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, where Jolie donned a massive diamond ring on her left ring finger.

“Brad had a specific vision for this ring, which he realized over a yearlong collaboration with Robert. He wanted every aspect of it to be perfect, so Robert was able to locate a diamond of the finest quality and cut it to an exact custom size and shape to suit Angelina’s hand,” Procop said in a statement. “Brad was always heavily involved, overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution. The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality.”

… Wanna see the ring? OK!:

photo of angelina jolie engagement ring pics
Beautiful, right? I’m just completely tickled, guys. What a way to start the weekend, you know?

Quotables: Angelina Talks About That Whole Leg Thing

photo of angelina jolie and her leg pictures photos pics
“I honestly didn’t pay attention to it. You know what I mean? I don’t watch those TV shows and if I go online and see something about myself, I don’t click on it. And the people I surround myself with don’t really talk about that kind of stuff. I heard something, but I didn’t pay any attention. It’s as simple as a being a woman picking a dress you like and having a night, and not really thinking about anything else.”

Well it sure took her damn long enough to answer the question on everybody’s mind: what the f-ck was up with the leg, girlfriend?

Angelina finally got around to addressing those pesky leg questions, and we come away disappointed. At least I did. I was hoping it’d be something like, “Oh, I was making a statement about how ridiculously blown out of proportion things can get when you talk about any given celebrity,” or “Crazy how I’m the queen of the world and I can do anything – even stick my pasty, bony-assed leg out like I’m flagging a taxi down with it – and people are still going to make a big fuss over it because I’M ANGELINA JOLIE MOTHERF-CKER.” This answer almost makes Angelina look like she’s completely unaware of how her actions are going to be perceived by the public, and that kind of surprises me honestly. Girlfriend has always seemed pretty calculated in what she does and how she publicly appears, and to do something like this – something that, if another actress of lesser notoriety did it, would appear to be a bang-up ho-stunt – is really out of character. Or at least really out of the realm of what we think Angelina would do, anyway. But this is the chick who made out with her brother and who carried Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around in a vial around her neck, so we can’t forget that too quickly, folks.

Jennifer Lawrence Is Also Trying to Steal Angelina’s Man

A photo of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

That Jennifer Lawrence sure gets around, huh? The word was that she was texting Miley Cyrus‘ man, Liam Hemsworth, all hours of the night, and now the new gossip is that she’s set her sights a little higher. Like, “Brad Pitt” higher.

From Hollywood Life:

Angie is so jealous that Brad has been texting the 21-year-old actress and she told Brad to ‘stop drooling’ over her — do you agree with Angelina?

Brad Pitt has yet another Jennifer in his life but this time it’s Jennifer Lawrence. A new report in Star claims that Brad became infatuated with Jennifer after seeing an advanced screening of The Hunger Games.

“Brad hasn’t stopped talking about how gorgeous, poised and talented Jennifer is,” an insider tells Star. “Brad is determined to find a project to collaborate on.”

But the one person that can’t stand listening to Brad’s new obsession is his partner and mother of his six kids, Angelina Jolie!

“She warned him to act his age and stop drooling over a girl young enough to be his daughter. She even hit him with the jab, ‘which Jennifer are you talking about?’”

But the big meltdown took place when Angie caught Brad texting Jennifer! They reportedly exchanged contact information at the Academy Awards.

“Angie absolutely freaked out,” the source says. Angie left Brad and jetted off to Amsterdam for three days and even forbade Brad from going to the LA premiere!

Can we toss around some theories about what kind of texting skills Jennifer Lawrence must have? If it’s causing dissension in two relationships, then it must be some damn good stuff, right?

No, of course I’m being silly. Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful and perfect, and she has obviously enchanted me along with Liam Hemsworth and Brad Pitt. If I were in a position to text with her, then I’d be worried about the state of my relationship too. She’s that powerful.

And no, I haven’t seen The Hunger Games yet, so just your horses, ok? I am getting into the second book, Catching Fire, though, and the movie based on that book isn’t due out until November of 2013, so I think it’s safe to say that we have plenty of time to obsess over this whole thing.

Dr. Drew Thinks Angelina Jolie Is Malnourished

A photo of Dr. Drew

Oh, that Dr. Drew, what a scoundrel! He has quite the habit of upsetting people by talking about celebrities and their problems without ever actually meeting them, doesn’t he? Whether you love him or hate him, we’ll get to that in a minute, but for now, let’s hear what he has to say this time about Angelina Jolie:

Dr. Drew Pinsky took to “The View” (weekdays on ABC) on Friday to speak out about Angelina Jolie, who he believes, from watching her at the Oscars, is “malnourished.”

“I’m tired of keeping quiet about this stuff. When I was quiet about prescription drug use and then everyone starts dying, now I feel an obligation to speak up: She’s malnourished. She has the [physical signs] … of malnutrition,” he said.

Dr. Drew went on to speculate as to what may be going on with Jolie’s health. He cited an US Weekly report that claimed she may have been depriving herself of food in order to “make a statement about the kids in Africa that she was working with that didn’t have a chance to eat,” according to Dr. Drew. “I just see malnutrition for some reason there, and we shouldn’t look at that as an ideal of beauty,” he continued. “She’s a beautiful woman, but she needs to be better nourished.”

I’m sure there’s going to be a number of people who are upset by this, but Dr. Drew doesn’t get it, and honestly, I don’t really get it either. I mean, check out what Angelina Jolie looked like during the Oscars one more time:

A photo of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

I could say that she looked malnourished, and I seriously doubt anyone would call me out on it, let alone get seriously upset about it, but Dr. Drew is different. It’s because he’s an actual doctor, right? Then why does no one get all up in arms when a plastic surgeon speculates on the work some celebrity has had done without ever treating them personally? Is it because he usually discusses deeper things than lip injections and nose jobs? Really, I’m actually curious about all this.

But yeah, I wouldn’t be too surprised if Angelina actually was malnourished, would you? Girl’s got to get some meat on them bones in the worst way.