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5Lindsay Isn’t Interested in A Plea Deal Because She’s Innocent

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

I mean, of course. None of us really thought that Lindsay actually lied to police then punched someone in the head, right? It just doesn’t sound like her. Not that talented, hard working girl we all know and love.

And since Lindsay is so obviously innocent, she’s planning on rejecting that plea deal that’s going to be offered to her. She could go to rehab and avoid jail time, but innocent people don’t go to rehab or jail. Innocent people go to Disneyland. Yay, Disneyland!

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t care that the prosecutor in her car crash case is willing to let her skate without spending a day in jail … because she won’t plea bargain a case in which she says she’s innocent.

TMZ broke the story … attorney Shawn Holley was on her way to court Monday to negotiate a deal in Lindsay’s lying-to-cops car crash case when she got her walking papers.  Law enforcement sources tell us … the prosecutor was willing to let Lindsay plead no contest and agree to six months of lockdown rehab — NO JAIL.

Presumably, the offer is still on the table but we’re told Lindsay could not be less interested. She doesn’t think she did anything wrong and will not plead to a crime she says she didn’t commit.

FYI — our law enforcement sources tell us … prosecutors have her dead to rights, because she told cops she was a passenger in the Porsche when there’s overwhelming evidence she was the driver.

So get this … if the case goes to trial and Lindsay is found guilty, she faces 19 months in jail. On top of that, the lying-to-cops case has triggered a probation violation in her jewelry heist case and she could get ANOTHER 245 days for that.

It’s like someone is daring Lindsay to screw up her life. Like she has someone in her life who goes “hey, Lindz, I bet you can’t get into more trouble,” and that’s when Lindsay throws a punch at some fortune teller. And then they were like “ok, but you absolutely cannot top yourself this time,” and that’s when she chose to refuse the plea deal. I don’t know, it’s like she doesn’t even get how dumb she’s being. And that is so scary.

January 20, 2013 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

12So, Uh, Justin Bieber Wanted You to See His Butt

A photo of Justin Bieber

Happy Sunday, you guys! Did you have a good night last night? Did you get into anything wild and crazy? Me, I just went out to buy hair dye and milk and then I watched Just Like Heaven, that romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon where she’s in this coma and her spirit has to get Mark Ruffalo to save her with the power of love. But I bet you guys went wild.

Oh, this post? Yeah, this is just Justin Bieber showing off his ass. He put it on Instagram. I don’t know why, but there it is. I know it’s not the whole thing, but it’s still something special. It’s something special to me.

But hey, how long do you think it will be till Justin does a dick pic, Chris Brown style? Probably not long, right?

January 20, 2013 at 8:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

23Quotables: LeAnn Rimes Would Love to Tell You About Her Sex Life

A photo of LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian

“Have you seen him? [Sex is] whatever time. Any time of the day. Whenever he wants it.”

- LeAnn Rimes needs you to know that she has sex with her husband. Like, a lot.

But hey, does this make anyone else kind of uncomfortable? Because I don’t like this at all. If it was anyone else, I’d probably just be all “ha ha, whatever” and not give it another thought, but since it’s LeAnn, I just get this image of LeAnn walking around the house in lingerie, doing sexy poses to try to get Eddie to notice her. Like I could see him being on the phone, and she’d come up in front of him in some sort of fancy panties and bend over and pout at him. And I feel like she could be doing some sort of work, and he’d call – no, he’d just text – and say “it’s time,” and she’d drop whatever to please him. Because heaven knows that if she doesn’t, he’ll find someone who will.

Hope you love all these mental images!

January 19, 2013 at 3:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Leann Rimes

4We’re Not Going to See The Canyons for A Good Long While

It’s ok, you can cry if you need to. I’ll wait.

Ok? Now that you’re a little more stable, we can actually talk about this. See, Lindsay Lohan‘s brand new movie, The Canyons, is pretty highly anticipated, but for all the wrong reasons. People want to see how bad she’s going to be. Because she’s going to be really, really bad.

This was posted on The Canyon‘s Facebook page from the director of the film:

After the NYT Mag piece, many have asked when the film will be shown. It’s going to be a few months. The intense reactions to Liz and Dick and the Times Mag article have made us realize that there will be an immediate blowback once The Canyons is publically screened–for good and ill. That’s the nature of anything involving Lindsay (plus BEE and JD, who also elicit visceral reactions). Therefore, when the film is shown it should also be available VOD and limited theatrical. That way the curious can see the film for themselves. I am told it takes 3-4 months to organize a proper VOD release. After Sundance we’ll screen the film for multi-platform distributors and set the process in motion. In a way it’s good we’re not at Sundance. We weren’t prepared, we weren’t organized. Films enter festivals to heighten their profile. The Canyons doesn’t need to do that. We need to organize multi-platform distribution. This is not a dodge, it’s common sense. The film is very good. I have no qualms about that. Paul S.

We all read the Times story, right? If you haven’t, go do that, and you’ll realize why it made everyone want more information on this movie. This delay will also make sense to you. That piece was rough.

Also, I love how they made it into a good thing that the movie got turned down for a showing at Sundance. Because who would want that, right? Only losers. Stupid losers.

January 19, 2013 at 2:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

20Octomom Is Stripping for Valentine’s Day

A photo of Nadya Suleman

Last summer, Octomom was supposed to do this stripping gig. I mean, she did one, as you can see, but she was supposed to do a different one. She cancelled because one of the employees of the club said that she “must be a little crazy,” then the club tried to sue her for backing out of the deal. It was a whole big mess. You remember.

But Octomom made a deal with the poor, scorned strip club, and come Valentine’s Day, all debts will be paid. With boobs.

From TMZ:

Octomom’s 2013 is shaping up a lot like 2012 … weeks after signing up for welfare (again), the mother of 14 has inked a deal to shake her naked ta-tas (again) — but swears this is the last time.

Sources close to Octo tell TMZ she getting paid $20,000 to do a topless strip at T’s Lounge in West Palm Beach, FL. We’re told it’s all part of a deal she worked out with the lounge to settle their ongoing legal beef.

As TMZ previously reported, T’s sued Octo last year for breach of contract after she pulled out of a similar gig, claiming she wouldn’t strip after the employees trash-talked her to the media.

According to our sources, Nadya and T’s worked out a deal last month. We’re told the club agreed to drop the suit and Octo agreed to perform four paid shows in February (14th-16th). We’re told lap dances are not on the table … just stage dancing and bartending.

Gotta get their money’s worth.

This is it, friends. Get down to Florida this Valentine’s Day. Octomom will make it worth your while.

January 19, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Nadya Suleman

10You Feeling OK, Kristen Stewart?

A photo of Kristen Stewart

This might surprise you, but that photo of Kristen right there? That’s in a magazine. W magazine, even, so you know it’s legit. Someone, or probably even a team of people, styled Kristen Stewart like this, a professional photographer took this photo, and a team of people agreed to publish it in a magazine. Isn’t that weird?

Here’s another one:

A photo of Kristen Stewart

Really, she just looks ill, or maybe drug addicted. I know she doesn’t like to wash her hair, but she kind of looks dead inside. Or really, really tired. Or maybe like she’s about to vomit for the fourth time in an hour and she’s just completely over it. Like someone convinced her to crawl from the bathroom floor and all the way to that chair, and she’s like “do I look pretty?” Whatever it is, it’s just not great. And it makes me want to make her a cup of tea. While she takes a bath.

January 19, 2013 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart