Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Blind Item: Is Gwyneth Paltrow Having An Affair with Jay-Z?

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z

From Blind Gossip:

We aren’t easily surprised, but this one definitely shocked us.

These two celebrity couples have been known to hang out together. The wives are especially close friends.

The first wife is a beautiful, award-winning Actress who has also done some singing on TV and in films. The second wife is an beautiful, award-winning Singer who has also done some acting on TV and in films. Both women’s husbands are also famous and very successful in the entertainment industry.

Well, two of these people are even closer than we thought. It turns out that the Actress has hooked up several times with the Singer’s husband in the past few years.

This surprised us for several reasons. First, because the two women are practically best friends, and their friendship would end if the Singer ever found out. Second, because all of these people travel and are photographed so much that it would take some crazy planning to have an affair without anybody noticing. And third, because the Actress had a history of dating very attractive guys when she was a single lady… and the Singer’s husband doesn’t exactly fall into that category.

So this is pretty clear, right? Gwyneth Paltrow is the actress who sings sometimes, Beyonce is the singer who acts sometimes. They’re total besties. The actress’ history of dating very attractive dudes, that’s Brad Pitt. Nobody calls Jay-Z pretty. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it?

But while I don’t have any doubts that this is what the blind item is about, I kind of don’t believe it. I just really, really can’t see Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z boning. Can you? Can you even try? I started to, but then my brain kind of shut down, like it was telling me that I was about to unnecessarily hurt myself.

What do you guys think about this?

Kris Jenner Won’t Let Kim Kardashian Get That Annulment

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Well, goodness gracious! All this time that Kris Humphries has been pushing for an annulment, Kim Kardashian has been perfectly willing to agree to his terms – the marriage was a fraud, y’all – but she hasn’t yet. And you know why? It’s because Kris Jenner is the worst mom ever, that’s why.

From Radar:

Kim Kardashian is willing to give her estranged husband, NBA star Kris Humphries, an annulment on the grounds that the marriage is fraudulent, but her momager, Kris Jenner, has shot it down because she fears that it will damage the Kardashian brand, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Kim has made it known that she is ready to give Kris an annulmentbecause she just wants to move on with her life. If she doesn’t give an annulment, Kim will be forced to testify at a trial after her baby is born this summer, which is the last thing she will want to do,” a source told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“Kim’s baby daddy, Kanye West, doesn’t understand why she hasn’t already just given Kris the annulment. Kim’s momager, Kris Jenner is adamantly protesting to her daughter’s idea because of the possible ramifications it could have for the Kardashian empire. Kris is concerned about the negative press and criticism Kim will get if she goes through with it. Kris’ main concern is how E! would react to Kim’s decision since the network aired their wedding special,” the insider added.

I still don’t understand this seemingly constant fear of “damaging the brand.” It’s not like this is the thing that’s going to make or break the Kardashians. No, the Kardashians have move passed that point, and now they will live on regardless. Like cockroaches.

But still, would an annulment really do more damage than that tiny little Kimye baby at the divorce trial?

I Hate Everything About Britney’s Broken Engagement

A photo of Jason Trawick

I don’t know when I grew so many strong feelings for Britney Spears, but they’re definitely there now. I loved her when I was 10 and her first album came out, and I’ve obviously felt a lot of sympathy for her over these past few years. But it’s never been to the point where I felt the need to talk to every single person I know about how horrible her situation is. If you couldn’t tell, that’s the point that I’m at now.

Just listen to this new story from People:

The new year has already been full of change for Britney Spears.

She’s left her gig as judge on The X Factor, her new puppy Hannah is gravely ill, and on Jan. 11 she announced she and fiancé Jason Trawick, 41, have called it quits after more than three years together.

While Spears, 31, told PEOPLE in an exclusive statement, “I’ll always adore him, and we will remain great friends,” a family source says the signer is “definitely upset about the split.”

What tore the couple apart? Spears, who has two sons with ex-husband Kevin Federline, had hoped to start a family soon with Trawick, but he wasn’t ready. Says the close source: “There were so many issues he wanted worked out before that” – including her neediness. “It was difficult for Jason to have his own life.”

Adds an insider: “Britney is very insecure and has had a lot of trouble with jealousy.” These insecurities may be heightened now. “[She] is very worried about being alone,” says the family source. “She is upset, but for a long time she has treated him like a friend, not a romantic partner.” The family source adds that some close to the singer, who had a breakdown in 2008, “are concerned about her future.”

I hate this so much. Maybe “it was difficult for Jason to have his own life” because he made the choice to be legally responsible for Britney’s life as well. Maybe she was needy because, according to the terms he agreed to, she needed him to do almost anything from spending her own money to making phone calls. Maybe she’s insecure because he’s treated her like a child for the duration of their time together, and that makes a romantic relationship pretty f-cking weird. I don’t know, I’m just speculating here.

Here’s This Portrait of Channing Tatum Made Entirely of Mike & Ikes

A photo of Channing Tatum

I love Channing Tatum, ok? I love him to death. I don’t think he’s, like, the sexiest man alive or anything, but I just think he seems so charming and likable in all his interviews and in all of his movies. My boyfriend agrees, and that’s why we’ve started a Channing Tatum movie collection. That’s also why we affectionately refer to him as “The Tater.” There’s a whole lot of Tater love going on in my house.

But you guys, Mike & Ikes? SO GROSS. Ugh, just seeing this portrait – made by pop artist Jason Mercier, by the way – fills me with disappointment from all my Halloweens past. I can’t even take this. The portrait was made using 5,000 Mike & Ikes, and that makes me want to vomit 5,000 times. Mike & Ikes are even worse than Milk Duds, and that’s really saying something.

So basically, it’s early, I fell in the snow after being outside for like three seconds in the snow, I’m cold, and now I feel sick after looking at so many stupid Mike & Ikes. But I love Channing Tatum. So I think this is still going to be a good day.

David Bowie Is Making “Old Bump-And-Grind Stripper Music”

A photo of David Bowie

Last week, my boyfriend did this thing where he said “hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” And because I do this thing where I worry about every single thing that ever happens in my life (by the way, when I was talking to my therapist about this, do you know what she said? She said “just stop.” Seriously? And when she made me tell her about all the things I do to keep from worrying, she said “yeah, just stop.” And I was like “if I could just stop, I probably would have by now,” because come on, seriously?), I freaked out. But all he said was “you don’t seem too excited about that new Bowie album, is everything ok?” And I laughed, and the worry left my heart. And the wonder crept in.

It’s a new Bowie album, guys. David Bowie recorded new music, and he’s releasing it in March. That’s huge. I’ve loved that man for as long as I can remember, but I’ve just come to accept that I was just born in the wrong decade to be a truly gratified Bowie fan. At the tender age of 16, I started the long, hard road to acceptance. I told myself that I would never, ever, not ever, get to experience another Bowie album. I’d heard all there was to hear, and I resigned myself to that cruel fact.

What I’m saying is that I still can’t even believe this is happening. Maybe next month I’ll start being visibly excited about it. Maybe that will be the time that I start crying uncontrollably and shaving off my eyebrows as a show of dedication. But right now, I’m still in shock.

But just to pile onto this madness, we’re now learning about what’s going to be Bowie’s second single from the album. It’s a song called “Dirty Boys,” and his producer, Tony Visconti, had this to say about it:

“Dirty Boys, the second song on The Next Day, is dark and sexy … like stripper music from the 1950s. Old bump-and-grind stripper music… It wouldn’t be out of place on Young Americans.”

Oh, ok, so that’s just the best thing I’ve ever heard in my whole entire life. No big deal.

Nicki Minaj Is A Diva And Now She Doesn’t Have A Hairstylist

A photo of Nicki Minaj

I am sorry, but Nicki Minaj is just the worst. She really is. There was the time that she threw a fit because the grass outside of a dressing room was too long to walk on. And that time that she told her own fans that they should “eat shit and die.” And that time that she and her boyfriend yelled awful things at a maid and then pushed her around. The. Worst.

She’s so bad that her hairstylist and wig guy, Terrence Davidson, decided to quit. Here’s his statement:

“I’ve decided to step away as hair stylist and wig creator for Nicki Minaj. It has been an amazing experience offering me a chance to express my creativity and exhibit my love for the art form of wig design.”

Nobody from Nicki’s camp has commented on this yet, but I don’t really think this is a great situation. I mean, just think of how great of a position this guy was in. He has a love for wig design, and he worked personally for Nicki Minaj. Can you think of anyone else that famous who wears that many innovative wigs? Because I sure can’t. But he gave it up. Probably because Nicki is the worst.

Quotables: Elizabeth Banks Just Pissed Everyone Off

A photo of Elizabeth Banks

“Two is very different from one. When you have one kid, you feel like you can jet set around and you can throw him on the hip and you get your life done. You don’t realize how easy one is until you have two. Now I’m really a mom. Oh, I am a mom now! This is for serious – I am responsible for two people now.”

- Elizabeth Banks explains that she was not really a mother until she was the mother of two children.

Oh, Elizabeth. Oh, girl, no. Take it back.

And to make matters worse, Elizabeth also told a story about how hard it was to take her two children on vacation for ten whole days with only the help of her husband. Can you even imagine?

“[We] had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night, how exhausting it is. I lost all my nails. I did dishes and cleaned bottles for 10 days so I lost all those nails!”

Stop, Elizabeth Banks. Stop right now. I don’t want to hear anything else about your hardships. I’d like to be a mother myself one day, but your tales of vacations without nannies and lost fingernails just makes me rethink everything. It’s like, who knew that parenting could be that hard?