Today's Evil Beet Gossip

BREAKING: JENNIFER ANISTON STILL NOT MARRIED

justin theroux jennifer aniston

Jennifer Aniston is engaged to Justin Theoefwrox Theoreusxz Theroux but they haven’t yet married. I’m really bad at spelling Theroux on the first try. But I try, and I like to show you that I try. Teamwork, everyone.

So what’s the holdup, Jennifer Aniston? Please tell us about something that has absolutely nothing to do with us and explain right now why you’re not a wife. From People:

As fans eagerly wait for her to become Mrs. Theroux [LOL PEOPLE CALM DOWN, THIS SOUNDS LIKE NARRATION IN THE BEGINNING OF A DISNEY MOVIE], multiple sources tell PEOPLE that plans for the much-anticipated nuptials have slowed down.

A few months ago, arrangements were in full swing, says a source who speaks to Aniston often. “Wedding bands were designed and Jen was deciding on a dress,” says the source. The actress had a date in mind, too – this spring.

Now, with both Aniston, 44, and Theroux, 41, overloaded with work commitments and a massive house renovation, “wedding talk has stopped.”

[…] With their packed schedules and the challenges of combining their lifestyles, “they need to figure out a way to create a life that makes them both happy,” says the first source. Still, “Jen can’t wait to be [Justin’s] wife.”

Oh, okay, good. I was worried there.

I don’t see them getting married. I’m not sure why. But when I close my eyes, the beautiful yet incredibly boring Aniston-Theroux wedding isn’t swimming into focus. What do you think?