Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Prince William Is Obviously Overjoyed Over the Birth of His Son

Prince William and Kate Middleton

The whole world was paying attention yesterday as Kate Middleton managed to push an 8lb, 6oz child out of her tiny frame and out into the world. Everyone and their brother has had something to say about the birth of the royal baby, from world leaders like the Queen and Barack Obama to those random freelancers hired by The Guardian to camp out in the press wing of the hospital to live blog such important events as a man in a suit walking out the front door with a “wry smile” (yes, this actually happened).

But what about the Duke and Duchess themselves? Surely they must have a very important statement to make about the arrival of their first child – who will, incidentally, go on to become the King of England? Worry not! Prince William has spoken out! You ready for this? Here’s his statement:

“We could not be happier.”

Well… right on! Apparently William actually wanted a girl but Kate wanted a boy. I think everyone else wanted a boy, as well – after all, he can now continue the lineage, so the Queen will be pleased (although apparently she changed the rules so that even if the baby was a girl, she could grow up to be Queen, which is pretty cool).

The baby was delivered by the Queen’s former gynecologist, which is kinda bonkers. It’s nuts how much is decided for you when you’re part of the royal family like that. I doubt Kate was all that thrilled with some old guy poking around her nether regions, but custom is custom!

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