Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, F-ck Off Already: Gwyneth Paltrow Raps Like a “Bad Mutha” When Cooking

gwyneth paltrow

Just when you think Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t get any more annoying, she goes and let’s something fall out of her face hole that makes you want to take a cheese grater to your skin just to distract from the idiocy before you. The woman who even annoys her own husband makes herself not only sound like a total f-ckwad, but also extremely outdated: she thinks calling oneself a “bad mutha” is the “in” thing to do, I guess, because that’s what she is when she (wait for it)… raps while cooking.

From The Evening Standard:

The actress-turned-cook, has revealed a penchant for hip-hop music in the kitchen and said she likes to rap like a “bad mutha” while she is cooking up her “restorative” delicacies.

Paltrow, 40, claimed that while she raps along to every word, her Coldplay star husband Chris Martin prefers to cook in silence.

She told ES Magazine: “He can’t have background music on: it has to be 100?per?cent of his attention.

“But if he isn’t at home, I turn on the hip-hop — I’m like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.”

Just… no. Make it stop. Being “friends” with Jay-Z and Beyoncé (and I don’t even know how in the world that works) does not make you a “bad mutha”, which I assume she’s using as a substitute for the colloquial use of “hood” – or to be politically correct, “urban”. Not even f-cking Hov would make that possible. That comment just sounds something your mom would say as she tried to relate to you and your teenage friends – it just comes across as cringeworthy and a total mess. Quick, someone send more raw, vegan wheatgrass smoothie infusions – I think the lack of calories is really starting to atrophy Gwyneth’s brain.

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I don’t think Gwyneth really thinks she is a “bad motha.” I do think she has a sense of humor and that you somehow missed it.

  • its because shes white, right? give me one good reason she shouldnt enjoy listening to it, rapping along with it. “Just…no. Make it stop”. why? who the fuck cares what she enjoys. why cant a person like all sorts of different things life has to offer? it makes you uncomfortable that she is different than what you expect her to act like? and i agree, she has a sense of humor that no one seems to be catching on to. i think i used to jump on the “yeah i dont really like gweneth paltrow,she seems like a snob” train, but im not really sure why i ever thought that. she seems nice, and cares about her family and her health, and isnt afraid to be herself.

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