Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Details of Lohan Plea Deal, Plus Lohan Laughs When Judge Suggests “Don’t Drive”

lindsay lohan court

Lindsay Lohan will not be going to jail — sorry, everyone! She took the plea deal. Although she was sentenced to 5 days in jail, it looks like that will be combined with her 90 day lockdown in a rehab facility. And let’s be real, even if that wasn’t the case, she’d likely spend 3 hours in jail, tops.

Here are the details of the plea, straight from the judge. Lohan must comply with all of this or she will get 180 days in jail.

24 months on probation. 5 days in jail plus $150 fine plus penalty assessments…a $240 restitution fine…$30 criminal conviction assesment fee…30 days community labor, it may be done in new york…18 months of psychological counseling…my understanding is she’s already begun that? (“That’s correct.”)…90 day residential treatment program. No day-passes, you can’t leave, you must stay in program…she needs proof of enrollment and a progress report on counseling, and a signed letter “with letterhead” confirming that she did community service.

Lohan sounded very, very tired and hoarse. More than usual. All she said was, “Yes sir.” Although she did chuckle twice. Once when she said “Yes” to the judge making clear that she gave up her right for trial. Not sure what was so funny there. The second time she let out a sort of sad, agreeable, tired chuckle was when the judge said,

A suggestion: don’t drive.

She is legally allowed to drive under certain conditions:

You are not to drive with any measure of alcohol or drugs in your system [Note: UH, DUH?]…you are not to drive without valid license and insurance…you are not to use or posses any narcotics…exept for prescriptions…do not assosiate with [drug dealers] or users except in an authorized counseling program…you are to obey all laws and order of court…stay out of trouble.

He then warned,

This is it. you violate your probation…we’re just going to impose the sentence and be done with it. Please take this seriously. You need to comply.

He also added on a,

Search and seizure condition…as part of the plea, she must submit her personal property to search and seizure [to police or parole workers] under probable cause or reasonable suspicion.

If Lohan does all of this without screwing up, she won’t face any jail time and her record will be expunged. It will be like having a “clean slate” as they say. Her probation begins today. In a press conference immediately after the hearing, her lawyer Mark Heller said,

I think that justice was certainly served. I am very confident that you won’t see Lindsay Lohan in any criminal courts any time in the future.

After Heller left, Michael Lohan then got up to the microphones and freaked out saying that Heller screwed Lindsay over and pressured her into a deal. And that he owes him $16,000. Uh…okay? He added, “Get away from the cameras and stop using Lindsay to make a name for yourself.”

OH. MY. GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS? (Yup, he totally is.)

Thanks to TMZ for providing the live footage that made me feel like I was right in the courtroom with them.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I’m past bored with this bitch. Really, she’s got the platinum Get Out ofJail Free card, so why is California justice wasting time and money on “hearings?” Put “L. Lohan” on her license plate so the cops won’t have to bother pulling her over.

  • Nothing will happen until she kills someone. Then maybe California can find some space for this monster they helped mold.

  • Ah the joys of being white and rich. If some poor nobody had done this, they’d have been in prison. Justice served? Yeah, right.

  • Does anyone remember how the courts and the people crucified Paris Hilton and stuck her in jail for a month because she violated her “drive only for work” license driving to a director’s home to pick up a script? Her original DUI was for blowing .07 after a glass of wine and she left because they didn’t have food and she was hungry….busted turning into a burger joint.

    Lohan lies, steals, has been in possession of cocaine, hit pedestrians and even had her passengers sue her over the way she was driving before she hit that pole….

    Paris had money and family with money and respect. Lohan is broke, trailer park stock. So, what gives? Why is LINDSAY so effing SPECIAL?

    • It’s because California is even more comically managed than a few years ago. They don’t want to build more prisons / jails, because that doesn’t jibe with the liberal mindset (besides not being able to afford more prison guards).

  • Why don’t they equip her car with a blow device? I’m hoping for a camera on her in rehab. I’d watch that! How about 24/7 coverage? LOL.

  • She cares so much about doing the right thing, she attempted to go to a night club last night to celebrate her rehab win. I hope Mr. Pink is going to pay for her rehab and not us California taxpayers because at least the rich guy will get some payback for his money.

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