Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh God: Rihanna Might Be Marrying Chris Brown (But Probably Not)

If anyone lives every day as if it’s her last, it’s Rihanna. All she does is drink, smoke, party, go on vacation and hang out with Chris Brown, so I suppose any day could be her last. In any case, the above photo was posted to Rihanna’s friend Melissa Forde’s Instagram yesterday, fueling rumours that the singer is set to tie the knot with the rudest boy of all, if you will – Shit Town. I mean, Chris Brown. Sorry, typo.

Is Rihanna getting married? Not even she’s high enough for that, I would say, but I suppose you never know. Chances are she’s just wearing a tacky piece of jewellery and know that idiots on the Internet like to dissect every little think, so she’s pulling an Ashton Kutcher and punking us all.

In related idiotic news, Rihanna’s dad Ronald Fenty must be suffering brain damage after his years of drug addiction because he’d be “ecstatic” if Rihanna and Chris Brown married. I suppose woman beaters need to stick together and all. Anyway, here’s what came out of his mouth:

“I would be ecstatic. He’s a very old-fashioned kind of guy, with straight-up morals and he’s always been very decent to me.” (via Now)

These people make me lose my faith in humanity.

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