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6Lindsay Lohan Probably Isn’t A Prostitute, Maybe

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

I just don’t know what to think, you guys. This is hard. Is Lindsay a prostitute? Is she not a prostitute? She’s so misunderstood. Just like her dad.

Because here’s what happened: there was this new story all about how Lindsay is getting paid to go on dates with rich dudes. Or, ok, obviously the story wasn’t new, but this quote from Michael Lohan was:

“She is getting paid to date rich men. Dina is pimping her out – it’s disgusting!”

But just shut your stupid mouths, because he never, ever said that, ok? Not ever. Not in a million years. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan is NOT banging rich dudes for money … despite reports she’s a highly paid escort — so says her father.

Michael Lohan is quoted in the reports in question, saying Lindsay is “getting paid to date rich men.” According to the reports, these dates last for several days and the men shower her with lavish gifts like jewelry.

One alleged client is the third in line for the throne of Brunei, who allegedly paid Lindsay $100,000 to celebrate New Year’s with him in London.

But Michael insists he was misquoted — telling TMZ, “By absolutely NO MEANS did I ever make such a statement … EVER!”

He adds, “Sure, Lindsay and [other celebs] make personal appearances and get paid for it! Sure, she and they get paid to go to birthday parties and other occasions! But for sex? Are you kidding me? I would never say that because she would NEVER do that and it NEVER happened!”

Oh, because Lindsay’s dad would be the first person she’d tell about it. Please. I don’t think that Lindsay would call herself a prostitute, but I don’t doubt that she’s making these “personal appearances,” and that sometimes the personal appearances take the form of dates, and sometimes, natch, dates lead to sex. How else does she ever have any money?

January 17, 2013 at 4:30 am by Emily

6 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan Probably Isn’t A Prostitute, Maybe”

  1. Mister J says:

    I’ll wait till her price drops to $500 and then hire her for an evening and talk with her about the times when she was one of the hottest girls

  2. kimcheee says:

    She’d be an “escort” technically.

  3. kimcheee says:

    I hate to admit this because I’m growing them out….but my nails look like hers!

  4. Angry Pirate says:

    Welp, yeah. I believe that she’s an escort (as kimcheee says above. Which I love. Kimchi that is.).

    As for price, a top-tier porn star charges around $1200 or so. I’d imagine Lohan probably gets around that.

    However, middle eastern men typically have different tastes. A medical assistant in Dallas that I used to know charged $700 and she was fairly overweight. (Similar to Kardassian) She was no looker. Of course, they smacked her around, but that was included in the price apparently.

    An evening would probably cost more, but some of it would be “assumed”. I mean, would you REALLY want to be seen with Lohan in public?

    These men don’t like “paying” for sex either. Typically they give jewelry and “party gifts” like drugs, alcohol, or whatever.

    OTOH, there are “famous”, such as on TMZ …, women that show up at a big city near where I live. They charge $300 – $1200 based on something. I’ve tried for years to figure out how they pick their price, and I’ll be damned if I can figure it out. It seems random.

    A *LOT* of younger people these days are whacked out of their heads over this price thing. If you get a chance, for a LOUD laugh, go take a look at whatsyourprice. ;)

    I don’t do price, but have been interested to see what’s up with whatsyourprice. I mean, how does ANYONE not feel degraded? You’re either paying for a DATE or being paid.

    However, once you read the adverts it doesn’t take long to figure out it is a market for prostitution. It just sounds better.

    Aside from all of that, she looks terrible. Poor poor Lindsay.

  5. Webster says:

    Escort, whore, prostitute, it’s all the same. People like Lindsay do it to keep their lifestyle that they have grown accustomed to and seem to have no scruples about doing it.

  6. none says:

    “Never do that?” Please, Michael. Bitch would blow a goat for a line of coke.

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