Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan’s Storage Drama

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Oh hey, guys, remember me? I missed you yesterday because computers are stupid and I spent a solid eight hours trying to fix something that wasn’t even my fault to begin with, and I’m still exhausted from banging my head on my desk and trying to pretend like I know a thing about how computers work, but I’m back. Even though I’m pretty sure I’ll have to go get another computer this evening. Because doesn’t everyone buy three computers in one week?

But anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about Lindsay Lohan and her newest problem, which is kind of comforting because, you know, while I’m frustrated at my own life right now, at least I’m not Lindsay Lohan.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan is on the verge of losing expensive designer clothes, family heirlooms and potentially embarrassing items … because she hasn’t paid her storage bill and as a result the unit is about to go up on the auction block.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us … LiLo has fallen behind on paying her monthly bill … and now owes roughly $16,000 to the storage company.

The account is now delinquent and the locker can’t be opened until the balance is paid in full … and that’s not going to happen because Lindsay doesn’t have the cash. As we reported, her financial situation is so desperate the IRS has frozen her bank accounts because of unpaid back taxes.

So here’s the upshot. If Lindsay doesn’t get a big check for XMAS, her storage unit will be auctioned off this month. We’re told she’s reached out to family and friends to front her the money but so far no one is biting.

Talk about a good “Storage Wars” episode.

Talk about a good “Storage Wars” episode indeed. Can you even imagine how wonderful it would be to go through a storage locker that belonged to Lindsay Lohan? It’d be wonderful, but scary. Who knows what kind of dangers it would hold? How many dirty needles would be tucked into designer clothes? Not to be morbid or anything, but I wouldn’t be way surprised if there were any body parts in there. She could be Frankensteining herself. We don’t know.

But unfortunately – or fortunately, I guess, depending on which side you’re on – some strip club is offering to pay the $16,000 so that Lindsay can keep her stuff in storage. They’re also offering to pay her rent for a few months, since she’s been having trouble. Isn’t that sweet?

But listen, they don’t even want her to strip. They have a web site, and they just want her to do some video chats. Not even nude video chats, just regular old video chats for their site. That’s a great deal, isn’t it? I don’t even think they want her to do anything sexy, they just want her to talk to people. In which case, she is completely insane if she doesn’t agree to do it.

Girl, you just keep on keepin’ on.

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