Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables: Brad Pitt is Getting Married. SOON.

photo of angelina jolie and brad pitt pictures

I am getting more pressure from my kids, and it is something I want to do within their lifetime, but I also feel like the time has come… The time is nigh. It’s soon. I got a good feeling about it.

Brad Pitt on finally anteing up and marrying his babies’ mama, Angelina Jolie. But the part about marrying within his childrens’ lifetime honestly kind of confuses me. I mean, even if he married Angelina Jolie on his f-cking deathbed, God willing, wouldn’t that be in his childrens’ lifetime? That’s kind of a broad arena if you ask me. He says the “time has come” and the “time is nigh”, which are one and the same, but do they both mean that it’s going to be soon-soon, or, like, when all of his kids are able to legally drink-soon?

Do we even care that Brad Pitt and Angelina are *finally* getting married? Are we over these guys as a couple, like we’re already over Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling (because about those last two people, I’m answering for you: YES. YES WE ARE.)?

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  • Right? I also wondered what the fuck he means within his children’s lifetime, but whatever. Also, the end is nigh, you’d think he’s talking about the end of the world!

  • Oh yes, the renaissance man, the free thinker, the progressive. I am sick of your shtick, Brad. Get married, don’t get married; who cares!

  • Yes! Ugh. They’ve already succeeded in erasing everyone’s memory of how they got together (you know, when Brad Pitt was STILL MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE) with all their good deed-doing.
    Nobody cares what they do.

  • He is so stupid. Falling for the oldest trick in the book. Angelina TRAPPED him with those babies, and is probably urging the kids to bug him. Kids are not obsessed with parents getting married, conniving @ husband stealers are. You are a fool Brad.

  • This,is a song,for,Mrs.Angelina Jolie,and the name,of it,is called,This Song Is For Real,and I wrote,my rap song,to the instrumental,of a song,named,Handle The Vibe,using,all,of my very,own words/lyrics,and the song,named,Handle The Vibe,was,originally,sang,by a,rap group,named,Bone Thugs N Harmony,dear,Mrs.Angelina Jolie,this,is,my song,for you,that,I have written,to the instrumental,of the rap song,named,Handle The Vibe,using,all of,my very own,words & lyrics,take care,merrily,Mam,see ya.

    This is,the name,of my song,for,Mrs.Angelina Jolie:This Song Is For Real

    This is,my introduction,for her,before,my chorus:

    This,song,is for,real,no doubts,babe,Babe,you,should,be here,this,introduction,is,real,babe,babe,check,my chorus,now.

    My chorus,for Sexy,Mrs.Angelina Jolie:

    You should,visit,here,no doubts,babe,babe,I,don’t,complain,plus,anyhow,I travel,around,girl,through,my home town,I gets,down,no frowns,babe,girl,when,you’re,in town,I saw,ya,babe,in magazines,girl,plus,I travel around.

    This is,my verse 1,for,sexy Mrs.Angelina Jolie:

    Traveling,around,in,town,putting,it down,with,no,weapons,babe,stepping through,the city,babe,babe,do,you,travel around,getting busy,shopping around,clubbing,around,girl,let’s,mob now,have,a great time,babe,hey girl,babe,do you,party,around,with,friends,babe,and Mr.Pitt,girl,let’s get down,please,visit,here,in,Yorkville,girl,that’s,my Home Town,I,visit,there,in,the city,babe,girl,let’s,drink,now,some,Hennessy,or lemonade,girl,please,come,now.

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