Sorry, that headline was inappropriate. It should have read “James Franco Needs to Shut His Very Educated, Very Smart and Impressive Mouth.” Because, as we all know, James Franco is nothing if not way brainy.
Anyway, he needs to shut his mouth because he keeps running it over at Huffington Post. He writes a blog for the site – remember that time that he wrote that thing about how great Kristen Stewart is? So embarrassing, right? Yeah, I don’t know why I don’t read his blog more regularly (probably it’s because my brain would explode), but I wanted to share a few excerpts from his latest entry.
Here’s this big long paragraph where he talks about how he’s really good at teaching because he doesn’t make his students study all the boring stupid stuff that his teachers taught him:
Anyway, I am teaching six classes in all different kinds of disciplines, on both coasts. And I have turned all of the classes — whether they are performance classes, directing classes, art classes, or writing classes — into production-oriented, class-wide collaborations. I love when they make stuff because I can frame each class in such a way that the work can go out into the world. The level of work doesn’t matter because it is an honest portrait of the students. The honesty is primary; the portrait quality of the work makes it feel like a kid’s drawing framed by an adult’s concept. It’s also nice to be able to control the material studied and how it’s talked about. I had so many classes, especially creative ones, where I hated what we were doing or the kinds of material my peers were interested in. In my current position I can guide the subject matter, especially in the classes where I bring in the source material to be adapted.
And here’s a big long paragraph where he criticizes Denzel Washington’s acting, except not really, ha ha:
Turns out that Flight is an addiction film. I had no idea. The editing of the first half is thrilling. Most of the film is spent watching an alcoholic hit bottom. Denzel plays an emotionally destitute man to the hilt, a pilot who drinks and does coke before flying: a pretty risky role to play, putting his stardom on the line. He even shows himself out of shape with his shirt off. It’s pretty cool, realistic; I like it. But he also gets to have two affairs with the most beautiful women possible: a sexy exotic stewardess and a recovering junkie who looks like she was shooting up whole milk instead of heroin, a redheaded girl-next-door type. Denzel’s crumbling drinker also conveniently has an old farmhouse straight out of House and Garden that he can escape to. Oh yeah, and his alcoholism didn’t lead to any problems on the plane; his drinking was incidental to any of the deaths — you see, he is the greatest pilot who ever lived. That’s all to say Denzel plays an alcoholic very well and gives a very vulnerable performance, but he still gets to be the coolest alcoholic hitting bottom who has ever been portrayed.
And here’s a shorter paragraph that’s just him bragging on himself hard. It’s my favorite:
Hmmmm, what else? My first chapbook came out, Strongest of the Litter, but people seem to be more interested in who I’m dating than poetry. Oh yeah, I got nominated for a National Entertainment Journalism award for these HuffPost blogs, but no other outlet is going to run that story, right? Hahaha — why would Gawker or the New York Post want to publicize that an actor/Yale doctoral candidate is nominated for an award for something that they are doing themselves? I’m pretty proud of it, but I can see why they must hate me.
Honestly, that last little paragraph was the one that got me. “I can see why they must hate me,” that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Yeah, everybody hates you because you’re just so wonderful, James Franco. When everyone rolls their eyes at you, it’s because they’re just jealous. For sure.