Did I ever tell you guys that Bradley Cooper was once one of my hottest men, and yeah, while he’s all handsome and stuff, no, I don’t know what I was thinking by including such a cookie-cutter dude in my list of Hottest Men of All Time. Maybe I was ovulating or PMSing or something, because aren’t there studies out there saying that a woman’s taste in men often differs depending on what’s going on and where she is in her—oh my god I’m going to say it, male readers, so tune out—menstrual cycle?
Ahem, anyway. Here’s an excerpt from Bradley’s interview with Esquire, wherein he talks about the dangers of deodorant.
Bradley on paying his dues in Hollywood:
“No. I mean, it depends on how you define ‘dues.’ I worked through grad school, and I got this job hosting Treks [in a Wild World], which was incredible. I went to Croatia, the Kornati Islands. They wanted a guy with experience with extreme travel but who has extreme sensibilities. I had never even camped before.”
On hating deodorant:
“Yeah, I don’t use deodorant really anymore. I do take a lot of showers, so maybe that helps. In the morning and then at night. And after I work out, I’ll take a shower. So maybe three a day.”
On his “troubled” youth:
“I got arrested when I was 15. Just underage drinking. My mom always said, ‘Just call me, I wanna know where you are.’ We always had good lines of communication, me and my parents.”
On making his money:
“It’s afforded me the ability to do the five movies I did between Hangover II and Hangover III. And you can solve people’s problems. To be able to say to someone, ‘You know what? I’m gonna buy your house for you. You don’t have to worry about the mortgage anymore.’”
Finally, how he loves motorcyles:
“I love the focus aspect of it. And you get everywhere fast because you can split lanes in California. And in Hollywood, there’s so much paparazzi, it’s just logistically phenomenal. Because you’re anonymous. You have a helmet on your head.”
So he’s sweet, yeah? And when you couple sweet with decent-looking, you think you’d have a pretty hot little catch on your hands, wouldn’t you. The thing is, Bradley Cooper’s just so … I don’t know. “Meh.” Bradley Cooper’s just MEH.