Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton Made Out with A Girl While Her Boyfriend Assaulted Someone

A photo of Paris Hilton

Ok, the story is a little more complicated than that. See, Paris Hilton is dating this new douchebag (surprise!) named River Viiperi. He’s 21 years old, and he’s a male model. She’s dating a 21-year-old model named River. Is that painting a good picture for you? All right, so Paris took River out to this Vegas club, and they got absolutely wasted. That part isn’t in the official story, but I think it’s pretty easy to assume that Paris and River partook in some alcoholic beverages.

So they get drunk, and Paris starts making out with some girl, because of course she does. That’s what all the cool straight girls do to get attention and drinks in clubs. Right, so she’s making out with the girl, and poor River has to see his true love, Paris, sucking on someone else’s face. And how does he react? The only way a distraught, drunk young man can react: he punches Paris’ new lady friend’s boyfriend in the face. LOGIC IS AWESOME.

The boyfriend wanted to press charges, and River was arrested for misdemeanor battery, but I guess the cops who responded were like “ugh, this shit again,” because he was never even taken to the police station. They’re still investigating it though, because apparently there’s more stuff to investigate, but Paris’ rep refused to comment on the whole thing.

Oh, and if you need a LOL, here’s a photo of River:

A photo of River Viiperi

Spread the LOLs, friend. So important.

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