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17Paris Hilton Made Out with A Girl While Her Boyfriend Assaulted Someone

A photo of Paris Hilton

Ok, the story is a little more complicated than that. See, Paris Hilton is dating this new douchebag (surprise!) named River Viiperi. He’s 21 years old, and he’s a male model. She’s dating a 21-year-old model named River. Is that painting a good picture for you? All right, so Paris took River out to this Vegas club, and they got absolutely wasted. That part isn’t in the official story, but I think it’s pretty easy to assume that Paris and River partook in some alcoholic beverages.

So they get drunk, and Paris starts making out with some girl, because of course she does. That’s what all the cool straight girls do to get attention and drinks in clubs. Right, so she’s making out with the girl, and poor River has to see his true love, Paris, sucking on someone else’s face. And how does he react? The only way a distraught, drunk young man can react: he punches Paris’ new lady friend’s boyfriend in the face. LOGIC IS AWESOME.

The boyfriend wanted to press charges, and River was arrested for misdemeanor battery, but I guess the cops who responded were like “ugh, this shit again,” because he was never even taken to the police station. They’re still investigating it though, because apparently there’s more stuff to investigate, but Paris’ rep refused to comment on the whole thing.

Oh, and if you need a LOL, here’s a photo of River:

A photo of River Viiperi

Spread the LOLs, friend. So important.

October 1, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Paris Hilton

17 Responses to “Paris Hilton Made Out with A Girl While Her Boyfriend Assaulted Someone”

  1. jess says:

    A RIVER IN PARIS

    sorry, sorry

  2. Dee Cee says:

    She is scary psycho.. just a sneeze from going completely wacko from whatever nasty combination of stuff she is weirdly injecting, smoking and ingesting.. She should go overseas.. the weirdo’s appreciate her wild party girl antics..

  3. mireee says:

    He looks like a child!

  4. Simon Jadis says:

    He is SUPER hot. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I have pictures of him on my computer. Not, like, labeled by his name. But, as a hot guy, he’s come up on my tumblr dashboard. And I am *such* a digital hoarder, especially when it comes to boys.

    More importantly, LOGIC IS AWESOME. I’m stealing that forever. <3

  5. CranAppleSnapple says:

    That dress would be great in other colours and without her coochie hanging out of it.

  6. crab says:

    That cat looks pissed that he has to model in this cheesy photo, haha!

  7. Key says:

    That bitch is a hot mess! I don’t even know why she is even considered to be a celeb! What good has she done..would be a nobody without her last name! How about she get an education and do something real with her life..what a waste of flesh!

  8. big javo says:

    just alousy animal what else.

  9. gus says:

    I wonder if he even knows there is a cat on his head He looks wasted and ther’s a very good chance he’s full of the std’s.

  10. Brenda says:

    Too pathetic for words….

  11. 69Danyel69 says:

    If he would have kept his cool, Rivers would have score on both pussies but No…he was ready to shoot his load into Paris. Well Paris sweetie that is what happens when you date little boys…<333 You know where you can find me Paris…Love yeah…

  12. Star says:

    Paris sounds like lots of fun! I don’t see what the problem is.

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