You guys. Hush. Heidi Klum, never, not once, cheated on Seal throughout their whole entire marriage. What a horrible thing to say. Why would you even think that? Oh, because that’s what Seal told us this weekend, that “the answer” to the question that’s plagued us all – why did this perfect love fall apart? – is that Heidi didn’t “show a little more class” and didn’t even wait “until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help.” That’s why we thought that.
And even though Seal’s claim seems pretty straightforward, it’s not. We’re all a bunch of dummies for misunderstanding Seal, and now Seal’s rep has to set us all straight:
After remarks Seal made during an airport interview regarding his estranged wife Heidi Klum and her bodyguard Martin Kirsten were picked up far and wide this weekend, a rep for the British singer issued a statement to PEOPLE.
“Seal would like to clarify that he was not implying his wife was cheating on him while they were together,” said the statement. “But rather he was pointing out that they are separated and the divorce is not final so they are legally still married.”
I understand that this poor rep here is just trying to calm everyone down, but yeah, that’s the silliest statement I’ve ever read. Seal’s original statement was very clear, and after he accused Heidi of cheating, he said “I guess you all now have the answer you have been looking for for the last seven months.” There’s really no other way to interpret that, is there?
And I do understand the point that this statement is trying to make, but I think it just makes things worse. Now the idea is that Seal is not a man who was devastated by his beloved wife’s decision to have an affair, he’s a douchebag who feels the need to comment on every dude his ex gets with after him. He wasn’t being catty to the woman who cheated on him, he was just being a total dick. “Fornicated with the help.” Honestly.
And on top of everything else, how am I even supposed to listen to “Kiss from a Rose” now without feeling nauseous?