Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables: Jean-Claude Van Damme Boinked Kylie Minogue, Kept it Secret for Almost Two Decades

photo of jean-claude van damme pictures kylie minogue affair pic

“I tell you what, you should ask her. She’ll have a better memory. I’m 51 years old, do you know how much I was punched in the face on The Expendables? No, no. No. And let’s just say it happened, so what? Who wants to know? … Sometimes you let go of stuff … I don’t know, maybe. Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair. … Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she’s so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn’t acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She’s a great lady.”

First of all, ew on the Jean-Claude Van Damme thing. Because seriously, ew. I don’t think JCVD was hot even during his prime, and doing movies like Street Fighter, Bloodsport, and Knockoff. Eek. Second? Kylie Minogue, huh? Well. I guess she should just consider herself to be lucky, being that ol’ Jean-Claude there felt that she was worthy enough to have an affair with. Good thing she was so charming and had such a beautiful smile, otherwise it might not have happened at all.

Now maybe we know who Kylie wrote this song about:

But in all seriousness, what the hell was she thinking? Yikes.

5 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “I tell you what, you should ask her. She’ll have a better memory.”

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure she will have blocked that one out.

  • I hope the post traumatic amnesia kicks in *after* she finishes douching with bleach. Bleah, what was she thinking? I wouldn’t do JVD for practice. Dude probably calls his own name out during sex. Gross. One for the Hall of Shame for sure. And what a jerk he is for talking about it. Gentlemen keep their mouths shut.

  • “….showed her my Thailand….?” Does he mean the country or is “Thailand” sort of a pet name for his dong?