Well, get in line, Scientology, because you’re not the only one. Now that Robert Pattinson is single, all he has to do is pick up the shattered pieces of his heart, hot glue them back together (you can’t tell me that this man doesn’t do arts and crafts), and just walk outside, and he’ll find thousands upon thousands of people who want him. Like, just for example, this girl:
But nobody could treat Rob as good as the Church of Scientology. Nobody else can give him that much power, that much influence. Nobody else can teach him how to fly.
From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:
The Church of Scientology has set its sights on Robert Pattinson to take over the role as the organizations’s top celebrity after Tom Cruise’s quickie divorce from Katie Holmes caused major embarrassment for the controversial religion, say sources.
And insiders believe that Kirstie Alley, a neighbor and friend of Pattinson, is spearheading the efforts to lure him into the fold, after an SUV registered to Alley was spotted leaving his property. As eyewitness told The Enquirer that a white Lexus Hybrid SUV belonging to Kirstie entered Pattinson’s property on July 25 – the same day he reportedly broke up with Kristen Stewart after she was caught cheating with Rupert Sanders. When the Lexus left at 4:30 pm, the vehicle went directly to Scientology’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood.
“My first thought was that it was really unusual,” the eyewitness noted. “I didn’t get a good look at the driver except that I noticed that the person had a lot of hair – so it was probably female.”
“The Church of Scientology would love to have Rob in the fold,” says Amy Scobee, formerly a high-ranking Scientologist, “He’s the ideal candidate for Scientology. The Church believes that everyone has a situation they can help them with, and they prey on people in their weak moments. Since he’s going through a bad breakup, it would be perfect timing for them to step in and ‘help’. And if Kirstie’s a friend and neighbor, he might listen to her.”
Robert Pattinson would never. And, ok, let me even stop pretending for one second that he’s my best friend and we text, like, fifty times a day because we’re that tight: nope, he still would never. Robert Pattinson will never, ever join the Church of Scientology, no matter hard his friend (???) Kirstie Alley tries to convince him. I just refuse to believe that would ever happen, not because I like him so much, but because he’s obviously not that crazy.
But Scientology does need a new face of the cult, that part’s definitely true. If it’s not Rob, then who could it be?