Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kristen Stewart Talks Books, Acting, And Her “F-cking Boyfriend”

A photo of Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart is really pumping out the interviews, huh? It makes sense, because Snow White and the Huntsman is just around the corner, but it’s a little overwhelming, especially when you know that she’d much rather just be chilling at home with Robert Pattinson, smoking weed and not bathing. But she’s being a good sport, and she’s not whining or anything, so that’s nice of her.

Here are some excerpts from her latest interview with Elle, which was done inside a bookstore, for whatever reason:

On her most desired role: “Have you ever read Lie Down in Darkness?” Stewart asks excitedly. “I want to play Peyton more than anything I can possibly taste or touch in my life. I want to play her so bad.” Peyton is bright, beautiful, suicidal narcissist, preyed upon by her father. But Stewart, 22, sees it as more complicated than that. “Oh, dude, she f-ckin’ loves it! She’s in love with him. I mean, I think she’s in love with him. It’s not his fault. They’re the most f-cked-up family! There’s a script adaptation I’ve read and it’s good,” she says, continuing down the aisle. “Two people vying for the part of the father are Daniel Day-Lewis and Colin Firth. Daniel would be perfect.”

On her highfalutin taste: Stewart stops suddenly and smiles, picking up an autobiography. “Let’s not be pretentious – let’s buy Snooki.” (She doesn’t.)

On The Virgin Suicides: “I f-cking love that movie so much. I love teenage girls.”

She reads while she poops: “Oooh, Martin Amis.” Stewart plucks Money from the shelf. “My copy just got soaked – my toilet overflowed.”

On Robert Pattinson: “Oh my God, my f-cking boyfriend just did this movie,” she says, referring to Robert Pattinson while pulling down a copy of Bel Ami. “The French, they’re up in arms that he did it.”

On wearing brown contacts for Twilight: “It’s like I always have sunglasses on – soulless, googly-eyed sunglasses. You can’t feel your eyeballs. They ruined me.”)

On riding horses in Snow White: “I hated it,” she admits of riding. “I didn’t take to the whole mentality of f-cking ordering that thing around – ‘Go now!’ You have to be an asshole, basically. Not to say that horse people are assholes to their horses. But you have to basically tell that thing who’s boss, and I didn’t want to do that. I was like, ‘No, do your thing. I don’t even want to be up here.’”

On her perfect life: “Because I didn’t go to f-cking school, I feel I would have had a bit something extra if I had,” she says. “Maybe because my life is so perfect, when I see the other side of life, it just seems like, almost like I want…” Stewart struggles for words. “You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to f-cking happen to me. Just life. I want someone to f-ck me over! Do you know what I mean?” That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? “Exactly. It’s one of the reasons I want to act. I love living in different worlds, because a lot of times mine is pretty nice and easy.”

Her gross car: She unlocks a nondescript rental car (she can’t drive her Mini Cooper without being followed by paparazzi), drops the books in back, slides into the driver’s seat, starts the engine and offers up a Camel. Pushing the cigarette-lighter button, she says, laughing, “I went for the high-class rental. This car’s got all the fixin’s!” Scattered on the passenger side floor are a pair of plaid Van sneakers, an empty protein drink, a Coca-Cola can, and a plastic to-go container with a half eaten sandwich covered in mold. A nearly empty Snapple sits in the cup holder, cigarette buds floating in it.

On her public persona: “Laurence Olivier was asked, ‘Actors, what’s the impulse? Why?’ And he was just like, ‘Look at me, look at me, look at me, …’ That was his answer. But at the same time, it’s like, ‘Nooo, don’t look at me. Look at some version that I’m going to present to you. Let me control it.”

I was so close to making a comment about how it might be sort of neat to be friends with Kristen Stewart, but then I read that part about her car, and, well, no, it wouldn’t be neat at all. She’s pulled it together so much, but sandwiches covered in mold? Total deal breaker.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Old lady alert: Girlfriend swears without sense FAR too much. I’m all for a good ol’ punctuating “FUCK!” here, there and everywhere my grandmother isn’t, but slamming it in front of everything like it’s some sort of descriptor is lame and classless. Who wants to hear someone bellowing, “Look at these fuckin’ strawberries here on this fuckin’ shelf!” It’s lazy linguistic shorthand and reflects negatively on the rest of her comments, which are actually quite intelligent and show a thoughtfulness I honestly didn’t think she possessed. So colour me fuckin’ impressed, I guess, but for all the pointless swearing. ;)

    • I know 100,000 words but I still prefer “fuck”. Swearing isn’t lazy. Get off your high horse.

      • It’s not a “high horse.” It’s a sense of when to use the word and when to just forgo the 900th mention in a conversation. Not hard to understand, really.

    • I agree on her using it way too much. Not that it shows she’s lazy linguistically, but to me, it’s just her trying too hard. To a badass? To not be the “girl next door?” To be the anti-role model? To show that she really doesn’t give a fuck? Whatever it is, it seems more desperate than genuine.

  • God, I would hate hanging out with her. Oh, those contacts were so terrible that they “ruined” you? You “hated” the experience you had while learning to ride a horse for a movie? You can’t clean up after yourself? Your life is so easy and awesome that you want something bad to happen to you? What a tool.

    • I really agree. Her life is so “perfect,” yet she feels the need to bitch about it. She’d be happier at Burger King, where *everybody* is miserable.

  • She seems lame and she completely steals the fun and coolness out of dropping the f bomb.

  • Perfect example of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Eternally 15 and eager to prove her intelligence and coolness to everyone Growup!