Oooh, knife through the heart, right? Kanye West, fashion prodigy, thinks I’m dressed like a tool, better just call it a day then. Better just burn everything I own and jump in front of traffic because this dude doesn’t like the way I dress. This devastation is just too much to bear, you know? Better to just end it all now.
Oh, wait, you guys don’t know what I’m talking about yet, do you? Ok, let’s catch you up: Kanye drove through New York over the weekend, and he saw many fashion choices that upset him. And then he tweeted about it. Got it?
Check out his list and see if you’ve offended him personally:
Just driving through the city and I see a few thing I hate…
I hate button up shirts with hoodies
I hate hoodies with sport coats
I hate sport coats with button up shirts, jeans and dress shoes
I hate khaki trench coats with jeans and off brand work out sneakers
I hate khaki cargo shorts
I Hate big ass striped scarves
I hate long ass sideburns with the line up RnB beard
…all this in 5 blocks
Most of these are more male-oriented fashions, so I think I’m off the hook. However, my boyfriend might be a little upset when I throw out all his shorts. “IT’S WHAT KANYE WOULD WANT,” I’ll scream as I stomp out the the dumpster. And I know it will be. But what’s wrong with hoodies, sport coats, and big ass striped scarves? I don’t understand it, but I’ll be sure and keep an eye out so I can shame anyone who dares to break Kanye’s rules after he took the time to announce them.
Nah, you know I’m just kidding. If Kanye wants us to take him seriously as a fashion guru, then first he needs to do anything at all to prove that he knows a thing about fashion. Until then, I’m going to keep on judging him. And so is my kitten:
This is his judgement face. Consider it, Kanye. Don’t take this lightly.