Kim Kardashianand Kanye West actually made it through one year of marriage! They celebrated their anniversary yesterday – an occasion that was apparently marked with a vow renewal ceremony at the Eiffel Tower, which Kanye rented out. But it was also celebrated with Kris Jenner’s posting of Kimye’s awkward as shit first dance after becoming married back in 2014. It’s… something else.
Frankly, it’s not actually much of a dance at all, but hey, what are you gonna do? Kim did her little sway in place thing, Kanye… was doing something. I don’t know, I’ve just seen better when it comes to wedding dances. But hey, they look happy – and they made it this far! That’s worth celebrating, right?
I’m not sure whether or not I find it miraculous that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will soon celebrate their one year anniversary of being a married couple. On the one hand, Kim hasn’t gone that long without topping up her butt implants, let alone sharing her life with another human being. On the other, both her ego and Kanye’s are so massive that no one else could possibly compare with the self-love they’ve found with each other. And now they’re going to renew their vows!
Kimye tied the knot on May 24th last year in Italy, so how can they outdo themselves this year to say “I do” all over again, despite the fact that they LITERALLY ONLY GOT MARRIED A YEAR AGO? Well, Paris, of course – the Eiffel Tower, to be specific.
The insider notes that the “Only One” rapper is renting out the Eiffel Tower for the special festivities. The lavish 58 Tour Eiffel restaurant has also been booked for a private event. The ceremony will take place following the pair’s appearance at the Cannes Film Festival.
The City of Light, of course, is the perfect place for the couple that has everything. “We fell in love in Paris,” Kardashian said at one time, “and then I got pregnant with our daughter in Florence.”
Must be nice to have more money than common sense in this life. Also, what the hell do Kim Kardashian and Kanye West need to be at the Cannes Film Festival for? What on earth do either of them have to do with film in any sense? THEY RUIN EVERYTHING!
If there are any letters you never want to see attached to the end of Kanye West‘s name for the rest of your days, they’re without a doubt “PhD”. And yet, that’s exactly what you’ll have to do from now on, since Kanye was given an honourary doctorate from the School of Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC) yesterday. And doesn’t he look thrilled about it!
Lisa Wainwright, dean of faculty and vice president of academic administration at SAIC, said she read an interview with West, who moved to Chicago at age 3, in which he said he wished he had attended SAIC.
“I read it and thought, ‘Wow, this is a fantastic moment.’ Here is this major figure in the cultural landscape promoting art school, this guy from Chicago saying art school is cool. So we thought, ‘This man deserves an honorary doctorate from us!’ He should have gone here,” said Wainwright, who sits on the committee that decides honorary degrees.
All very ~ironic~ from the man whose debut album was called College Dropout. How appropriately hipster. Below you can watch the video of his speech (!!) and see just how thrilled Kim Kardashian is on his behalf.
I mean, I guess it’s cute or whatever, but it also makes college degrees pretty fucking meaningless. Why spend $120k and four years of busting your ass when you can just get famous and be given a degree for free? I know that’s not the point of these “honourary” titles, but… for real?
Bruce Jenner confirmed months of speculation on Friday during a 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer, telling the world that he is transgender and is “for all intents and purposes… a woman”. While the response has been overwhelmingly positive from both the public and his friends and family (or so some of them would like to pretend – looking at you, Kris), one person took it a bit harder than others, and that’s Kim Kardashian. That is, until her husband, Kanye West, really opened her eyes by dropping some profound philosophic truth (about himself, natch) on her.
Bruce Jenner said that Kim Kardashian didn’t know what to think about his transition to a woman after catching him one day in a dress. But then something changed.
“You know what really turned me around?” Jenner recalls the reality TV star asking. “Kanye.”
The rapper, who recently married Kardashian, had the following advice for her:
“I can be the most successful person in the world…I can be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, which I am…but I’m nothing if I can’t be me…if I can’t be true to myself.”
Because Kanye having the freedom to be an egocentric maniac is definitely the same as being trapped in the wrong body and suffering gender dysphoria because of it. But whatever! She got there in the end, I guess.
Kim Kardashian hasn’t been shy in admitting that she’s struggled to lose weight ever since giving birth to North West a couple of years ago, but that probably just means that her body is where it’s meant to be, size wise. Her husband, however, doesn’t think so – Kanye West hired her a personal trainer and he’s none too pleased that the trainer also agrees that Kim is probably fine where she’s at.
On Sunday’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, he lashed out at wife Kim’s trainer for saying she “couldn’t imagine” seeing Kim at her goal weight of 120 lbs.
“She’s like, ‘There’s no way. I can’t even imagine you 15 lbs. lighter,’ ” Kim, 34, told sister Khloé Kardashian of her trip to the gym. “Kanye’s like, ‘Wait a minute. You are the trainer and you’re telling me you can’t imagine her 15 lbs. lighter? We need to get another trainer, then, because if I tell you she needs to lose weight in between her toe, you would have figured out a f—ing toe weight.”
Wow. If Kim wasn’t… you know, Kim, I’d probably feel really bad for her since she’s married to such a controlling egomaniac. If Kim wants to lose weight for herself, that’s fair enough – we’re all our own harshest critics, but she needs to be realistic in terms of results. Her frame is her frame and she’s never going to be Kate Moss, and that’s worked out just fine for her. But for her husband to become enraged because her trainer can’t maker her skinnier, i.e. his idea of ideal? Dear God.
Kanye West has been terrorizing audiences around the world for years, and following in his unrequited love/musical hero Beyonce‘s illustrious footsteps, he was actually invited to headline this year’s Glastonbury Festival over in the UK this summer. The problem is… no one really seems to want him there. So badly do they desire his absence that a guy called Neil Lonsdale put together a petition to dis-invite him from the festival… and it’s been surprisingly successful.
Kanye West is an insult to music fans all over the world. We spend hundreds of pounds to attend glasto, and by doing so, expect a certain level of entertainment.
Kanye has been very outspoken on his views on music….he should listen to his own advice and pass his headline slot on to someone deserving!
Lets prevent this musical injustice now!
At the moment, the petition has over 71,000 signatures. Will it have any effect? Eh, probably not, but wouldn’t it be amazing if it did? Kanye would no doubt unleash the most narcissistic rant of his entire career – a tall order, but I know he’s got it in him.
No matter how rich she is and how many expensive outfits she can afford, Kim Kardashian just can’t seem to keep her clothes on. I think I can speak for us all when I say that we’ve seen her naked far, far too many times. It’s too much. It’s over-the-top. I just want the woman to WEAR SOME FRIGGIN’ CLOTHES. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.
Kanye West is like a kid in a candy shop when it comes to the fact that he gets to have sex with a perfect surgical specimen, it seems, as he took to Twitter yesterday to unveil a whole slew of naked photos of his wife and simultaneously try to make “SWISH!” a thing. Not gonna happen.