And Now Introducing Yeezy World Peace!

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Now, damn it, Emily, that’s no Yeezy World Peace! That’s Kanye West, clear as day! I was born at night, girl, but not last night! You’ll have to wake up earlier in the mornin’ to fool me!” And if you’re thinking that, then why are you thinking in the voice that I imagine my grandmother has to take my mind off the fact that she’s heaping piles of food on my dinner plate while calling me Thunder Thighs?

Either way, we’re both right. That is, in fact, a photo of the delightful Kanye West, but don’t you dare call him that. That is, if you want him to spin records at your New Year’s Eve party. See, Kanye has been doing some thinking on his Twitter lately, and here’s what he came up with:

I kinda wanna DJ somewhere this New Years

I don’t want to see any movie that doesn’t have mind blowing special effects… #EVERAGAIN

My New Years DJ name is gone be YEEZY WORLD PEACE! If you book me you have to put YEEZY WORLD PEACE on the E-vite. Or I ain’t spinning.

I’m not sure where his thought about special effects came from, but that’s besides the point.  The point is that Kanye, excuse me, Yeezy World Peace, wants to DJ, you guys!  He’s already come up with his rider and everything:

Ima need a stealth bomber and 2 bottled waters #YEEZYWORLDPEACE’SRIDER

So, you see, Yeezy World Peace needs us to believe in him right now. Yeezy World Peace has dreams, he has things that he wants out of life, and we don’t support Yeezy World Peace, then who will? Do you see?

In a world where Kanye West berates people for throwing business cards on stage, Yeezy World Peace throws rainbows and a wide variety of gourmet chocolates off of his. Where Kanye West lands on lists of the biggest douchebags of the year, Yeezy World Peace lands on lists of the best people who ever existed ever and who also cured cancer and discovered unicorns in nature (he is the only one on the list). Where Kanye West thinks people equate him with Hitler, Yeezy World Peace builds a time machine and uses it to convince Hitler that his views are wrong and invites him to do a collaboration with him on his next album.

Are you with me yet? Yeezy World Peace, you guys. Trust.