Justin Bieber‘s dad always gives me the creeps. Not in any major way, like I definitely wouldn’t speculate that he’s a bad guy or a bad father or anything, but I just think he’s creepy. Like remember that time that he and Justin got Jesus tattoos together? That was creepy. There’s a chance that when I say “creepy” I actually mean something more along the lines of “scuzzy,” but you get where I’m going with this whole thing, right?
Either way, as you can see, Justin Bieber’s dad had a hard time figuring out what to get his son for his 18th birthday. He wandered all through the mall (that was a mall, right? Is that what a mall is supposed to look like? My mall has a bunch of empty stores, a waxing salon, a pretzel place, and one of those stores that sell incense and dragon statues, and that’s basically it), but alas, he could find nothing for the boy who has everything. After hours of searching for the perfect gift, he decided to just get a sexy tattoo of Justin’s initials on his hip, because what else says “happy birthday, son” like a tiny hip tattoo?
Really, this whole video is kind of sad, and it just made me feel sorry for Justin’s creepy dad. I just wanted to be like “make a card, Justin’s creepy dad! Take him out for ice cream! Your love is enough!” See, my mom’s been having a rough time with her health for the past several years, which means she can’t work, which means no money. Whenever my birthday comes around, I always get a really sad phone call where she tells me that she’s sorry she can’t get me anything and I tell her it doesn’t matter, and then that just repeats for about ten minutes. On the flip side, one of my friends once thought it was ok to bring up over a group lunch how I hadn’t gotten her anything for her birthday in the past couple of years, which was true, because I had, like, rent and bills to pay, and that’s where all my money went. I had to be all “haha, I know, I’m the worst,” but then I cried a little while the waitress was serving us. I just don’t understand why birthdays, or gifts in general, have to be such a big deal. I give gifts when I can, whenever I see something or come up with an idea that would be perfect for someone, but it never crosses my mind that someone will be legitimately upset with me if I use my money to buy food and pay bills and not on something super cool to commemorate their birthday. Is that weird?
Oh, but yeah, Justin Bieber’s dad. Crazy, huh? And creepy. So very, very creepy.