Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Megan Fox Wants to Get All Fat and Bloaty Now

photo of megan fox pictures cosmo 2012 photo issue pics cover photo
Am I the only one completely tickled to death that it says – right next to Megan‘s flawless visage – ‘What he wants to SEE during sex’? I mean, come on! Duh! This is a no-brainer! Megan Fox would be the answer to that question, but the editors of Cosmo wanted to be all sly about it and test your sensibilities. Did you pass or did you fail?

In her latest interview, Megan’s not talking about international geography thankfully, but she’s talking about something that’s considered maybe even more scintillating: getting pregnant. More specifically, Megan Fox getting pregnant.

Check out these few excerpts from Meg’s interview with Cosmo!

Megan on having kids – and probably soon:

“I want at least two, probably three [kids]. I’ve always been maternal…. I’m a homebody.”

Megan on the whole not giving a f-ck thing and how misunderstood she is:

“It’s because I have tattoos and I say curse words, and apparently, that’s crazy. I think maybe I give off this energy of seeming like I don’t give a f#$%, and that’s misinterpreted. But I’m not wild.”

Megan on *finally* removing that God-awful Marilyn Monroe tattoo:

“It’s dramatic and it’s incredibly painful. They can’t numb it enough to make the pain go away. .. [It’s like] your skin explodes.”

On first meeting her true love and soul mate, Brian Austin Green, and how they’ve managed to stay together despite … well, pretty much everything that was designed to tear them apart or whatever:

“I didn’t know who he was, since I was too young for ‘Beverly Hills 90210.’ But the first time I saw him, I got butterflies. And the first time he casually touched me? There was so much electricity. … We’ve had obstacles, and we’ve overcome them. I truly feel like he’s my soul mate. I don’t want to sound corny or cliché, but I do believe we are destined to live this part of our lives together.”

See? She’s totally not the vapid princess type that you all probably pegged her to be. I mean, she wants kids. She’s getting rid of the dumb tattoos. She curses like a trooper, but hey. She’s not wild, do you hear? Finally, she doesn’t think she’s all that pretty to begin with. If this isn’t the catch of the decade, I don’t know what is. Congratulations, Brian Austin Green – you must have one of the  most addictive penises of all time, dude. I bow to your superiority.

Considering all things like, you know, how a penis is a penis no matter what.

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