I know that it’s been almost a month since we last told you guys anything about Sinead O’Connor, and I’m sure you were all just on pins and needles. I know I was. There was a couple of months there, what with Sinead’s strange marriage and subsequent breakups and make ups, her disturbing tweets, and … well, actually, I think it was all about disturbed tweets, but for a while, Sinead tweeted without abandon, about anything and everything, and we grew accustomed to such easy access to her fascinating brand of wacky.
Here’s the bad news: it’s been so long since you’ve heard anything about Sinead because she deleted her Twitter. It’s gone. I can’t find it. When I discovered that, I lost all hope that we would ever hear anything personal from Sinead again, and it doesn’t embarrass me to admit that I wept.
The good news? Sinead still has her blog! And in an entry she posted today, she tells us all about her bipolar diagnosis, her issues with medication, what’s been happening for the past few months, and, of course, her marriage. Hooray!
Few silly issues I want to address now just to clear up some small misunderstandings on part of American and other media writing about album, where they also write about my recent mental health difficulties.
Wasn’t going to explain but feel a small explanation of two matters would be helpful for me and media.
One. What happened in the last six months was I was told ( turns out wrongly) that I do not have bi polar disorder ( which i was diagnosed with 8 years ago and was on meds for) and taken off meds six months ago. The withdrawals were not properly supervised. Our mental health system in Ireland is 50 years behind U.S or U.K being the reason. Frankly.. It’s shit. I was taken off meds 6 months ago, unsupervised and became very ill after a few months and was unable to sleep or eat but did not realise these were alarm signals and while I did carry myself to many doctors none felt I had bi polar disorder and all sent me home unmedicated and with no sleeping or eating help.
I also was being put under an utterly intolerable and demeaning amount of pressure over weight gain which was a result of the meds I had been on for 8 years .
People around me were putting pressure on me and also media nastiness about my weight meant I fell into the trap of being relieved that off meds everyone stopped telling Me how hideous Iooked all the time as I lost weight. So I was determined no matter what, that I wasn’t going back on meds.
I became extremely ill and did not realise I was sick because doctors were missing it.
Recently I took myself to an American psychiatrist saying I felt it was wrong to have taken me off meds as I feel I do have bi polar disorder.
I have been assured by this doctor that while I do not suffer from ‘full blown’ bi polar disorder I am what they call ‘on the spectrum’. Which Means I do not get the highs associated with the illness but I get the frightening lows.
I have elected myself, to go back on a small dose of meds. The kind which will not Make me fat. But even if they do I would rather be fat and happy and functioning than skinny and too sick to live a normal life.
I wish to apologise for any upset or worry i may have caused fans or anyone else while I was so sick and I vow never to come off meds again even if I do get fat.
We really need to stop all this show biz (and beyond showbiz) pressure on women to be thin. It’s dangerous for many reasons.
The other thing I feel the need to clarify as papers in U.S seem confused is that I am actually very happily with husband Barry. We broke for a brief period purely because I panicked at seeing how the Irish media and various assholes in his life wre tearing him to bits for being with me and in my panic I went into ( as abuse survivors do) ‘fight or flight’ mode and fled, feeling he would be better off not with Me if being with me was going to be a source of soul-destroying of him by people close to him and by Irish media. This panic on my part was not helped by my being so unwell off meds.
Happily, for some reason the man adores me and wasn’t taking no for an answer so I can happily confirm that we have been ‘back together’ for a long time now and our separation, induced by a fearful woman off her meds and wishing to protect her husband, who is very delicate.. As indeed am I, only lasted a week.
U.S papers think we are not together and I’m hoping by writing this, various media will understand the actualities of both my marriage and subsequent breakdown.
I have been back on meds now for 2 weeks and am very happy, very well, and not at all mental. Any more than a ‘normal’ person anyway.
Once again may I say I’m very sorry to have caused upset or trouble for anyone while I was not under proper medical care and supervision and I hope by writing this it becomes clearer to everyone why I was unwell and acting batty.
How wonderful! It’s so good to hear that Sinead seems to be getting things back on track, and she really does sound a lot healthier and happier. Keep on keepin’ on, Sinead!