I know, I was just as surprised as you probably were. And you know what? As weird as it is to say, this news makes me happy. I mean, girlfriend eats. I’m not saying that she does anything crazy like keeps it down or anything, but going for the high-calorie stuff like hotdogs and bread and mustard. Wow. Color me impressed. These photos were taken at this past weekend’s Dallas Mavericks basketball game, where other people of note (like Khloe Kardashian) were in attendance. LeAnn, if you were unaware, is a Mississippi native who moved to Texas at age six, and she likes to head home as frequently as possible (in between skimpy-bikini’d beach trips, of course) to support her hometown-ish team. GO MAVS.
But this hot dog thing! I just can’t get past it! Maybe it’s got something to do with the recent rumors that Eddie likes his wimminz skinny as a Wendy’s Hamburgers straw and maybe she finally let that business stop bothering her for a second and went and got herself pregnant, damned be the weight-gain consequences, but either way: I’m prouder than a mother goose, and I just can’t contain my happiness.
Or my hunger. See, I saw these photos of LeAnn housing that hot dog and all I wanted from that moment on was – you guessed it – a hot dog on a hearty bun, slathered with ketchup and mustard and peppered with delicious minced onions. I would have even gone as far as to actually mince those onions, but when I got that hot dog cooking and put it on the kaiser roll that I substituted for a bun, because who keeps hot dog buns in their house in January, I couldn’t resist. Open mouth, insert hot dog, f-ck the onions and the time it takes to mince them and sprinkle them. And that hot dog was so good that I went back for a second hot dog, and it was just as glorious as the first. Mm-mm, hot dogs.
Granted, after those two hot dogs, I probably won’t be able to eat another thing for the next two days, but … wait. Epiphany. Wait a second. OK. Maybe that was LeAnn’s entire ploy with this whole thing. Maybe that’s where she was going with all of this hot dog-housing business. And guys, that is intelligence on another level.
Damn, LeAnn. I bow to your industriousness.