Surprise surprise, huh? A rapper wants to publicize his Greatest Works and figures that if he “dies,” he’ll be worth four times what he is while he’s living. Novel concept except for the fact that it’s already been done God-knows-how-many times.
On his Twitter page, as you can see above, 50 claims that his music career is more or less over, and that if he were to die soon, he’d be OK with that. Me, I’m here to say “It’s alright, 50. Just because everybody hates ‘In Da Club’ and ‘P.I.M.P’ doesn’t mean you have to go away and die.” Do some movies, check out a reality show or two; there’s other ways of getting famous without having to drop over dead. You’re all about seeing Lindsay Lohan’s genitals – why not try hooking up with her? I’m sure she’s got some open
legs options for you, and if it doesn’t make you more famous, it’ll at least add some variety to your life. You could go and get shots every week for the rest of your life, and what’s more dramatic and attention-grabbing than contracting a hot, throbbing chronic illness from an authentic source of organic germ warfare?
But who knows. I mean, of course, I could be wrong. Maybe he is suicidal. Maybe this is his cry for help. Maybe he didn’t get enough tattoos removed. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t actually love vagina anymore. I mean, he was all about telling dudes via Twitter a year or so ago that if they didn’t love vagina, they should probably kill themselves, and Rufus Wainwright already thinks he’s gay anyway. Did Fitty come to some sort of epiphany while he’s been counting nickels for Newports? Maybe it’s just that he just can’t get oral sex like he used to and he’s bitter and seeking the sympathy suck from a few randoms. I don’t know. All I do know is that this is one seriously disturbed dude, and if he’s actually got a management team left, they really need to pull his Twitter account ASAP before he looks even stupider than he does already, because seriously – all of this Twitter drama over the past year or more? Come on. How embarrassing.
I don’t know, Curtis, but if you’re looking to be the topic of conversation everywhere just one more time, maybe you should date another seedy blonde like Chelsea Handler. Seems like you got a lot of mileage out of that one, huh, boy?