Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Michael Lohan Tried to Escape from Prison

A photo of Michael Lohan

That wily Michael Lohan! If you refuse to fellate him, you will be assaulted, and if you try to arrest him … well, you can arrest him, but don’t expect him take it lying down.

Predictably, this last time that Michael Lohan got arrested for assaulting his lady didn’t go so smoothly. Here’s what happened: the cops came, they handcuffed him, and then oh, ow, ouch, wait, chest pains! So the cops took him to the hospital to get him checked out, and then, quiet as a mouse and sly as a fox, Michael grabbed the chance to slink on out of police custody.

At least, he tried. The police officers were a bit quicker than him, however, and snatched him up to go back to the police station, still stylishly wrapped up in his hospital gown. Classic Lohan!

Hey, like daughter, like father, right? Is that how that saying goes?