Same story, different day: Michael Lohan was arrested in the wee hours Tuesday morning for, once again, trying to beat up his sometimes-lady-friend, 28-year-old gossip journalist Kate Major. According to CNN, authorities responded to a call from Lohan’s Tampa home and immediately arrested Lohan for “battery on his live-in girlfriend,” the police statement said. Most news sources say the call came from Major’s home. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe.
The remaining details outlined in the police report may not be appropriate for workplace-reading.
Apparently, Ms. Major had agreed to drop her restraining order against Lohan. It was in the throes of celebratory make-up sex that the couple began to argue anew, this time—ugh, I can’t make this stuff up, guys—over whether Lohan should have pulled out. (The answer to that, as we all know, is always yes.)
So Kate Major was furious, because she believes Lohan’s penchant for bareback intercourse has resulted in previous pregnancies. (Seriously, it’s in the police report. I’m not sure whether Major actually terminated a Lohan pregnancy, but anyway, good grief.) Oh. Also. Michael Lohan threatened to kill Kate Major, slit her wrists, and/or throw her from the fourth-floor balcony. Then, Major alleges, when she threatened to phone the cops, Lohan pulled a “Situation” and bashed his head into a door, essentially faking an injury so that he could play the role of the victim.
After all that, Major declined to give Lohan a beej. Can’t imagine why.
As TMZ tells it, upon his arrest, everyone’s favorite Showbiz Dad immediately began telling the cops he was suffering from chest pains, so they gave him the benefit of the doubt and took him to the hospital. Then! An officer caught Lohan trying to sneak out of the hospital. Then Lohan was arrested yet again.
Wow. Michael Lohan just might be the worst person ever.
(Mugshot via D-Listed.)