Two days ago, Lindsay Lohan was denied entry into the L.A. County Morgue. You knew that already. But Lohan returned, undaunted, yesterday morning—at 5:35 a.m., bless her crazy little heart. (She was 85 minutes early.)
The kid reportedly felt so bad about her tardiness on Thursday, she tried to treat her new coworkers to cupcakes and In-N-Out burgers. But Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter wasn’t having it. Instead, he turned the cupcake deliveryperson away. (Nooooo!)
Lindsay pleaded ignorance when Winter confronted her about the cupcakes, but her absolutely awful representative, Steve Honig, insists it was she who ordered the cupcakes anyway. “Lindsay’s well-intentioned actions were not taken in the spirit in which she intended,” Honig tells E!.
Here are my thoughts, in no particular order:
– Steve Honig ordered the cupcakes himself, probably. Instead of being interpreted as an apology, they came off like a bribe.
– I realize that Steve Honig has the hardest, most thankless job on earth, but this guy is just terrible at what he does. How anyone can make Lindsay look worse is beyond me; Honig does it consistently and with aplomb.
– I think I’ve made it abundantly evident that I cannot stand Lindsay. That said, what kind of heartless person turns down a free cupcake? No, we can’t have pink frosting on our latex-skinned fingers before an autopsy, I realize. And we’re not going to celebrate having Lindsay around, no way. But seriously. People are always ravenous by 10 a.m.! Let them have their cupcakes, Winter!
I genuinely believe that, in this one, isolated case, Lindsay wasn’t trying to undermine or “put one over” her new boss. And while I respect Winter’s position and his suspicion (I’d check the sprinkles for rat poison, myself), cupcakes are as good an apology as any. Scratch that—they’re the best apology.
Put simply, I don’t feel sorry for Lindsay, but I do feel sorry for those poor, lost cupcakes. OK! I admit it! I haven’t had breakfast yet.
(Image via eBaum’s World. No, I know.)