Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Happy Birthday, Courtney Stodden!

What a magical day this is! One half of my very favorite couple has a birthday today! Courtney Stodden is 17 now, and we need to celebrate her like she deserves! My contribution to this monumental occasion? Why, a hilarious video of Courtney making silly faces and a few select Tweets, of course!

Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)

While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!

I desperately need to be locked up inside of a cage tonight because I am feeling wet… wild… and passionately frisky! Meeeowww! XO’s

Ooh, had a provocative evening last night in Hollywood. Awoke to yet another morning of sexual daylight desire. Mmm, today is gonna be hot!

Taking an invigorating stroll throughout the hot hills of Hollywood. I like it when I’m on top of them. It satisfies me. Meow! ;-)

As I soak up the last bit of heat out here on my sun-glazed patio in a cheeky bikini, my entire body IGNITES with desire for a steamy night!

While Doug prepares a delicious din-din, I arouse his appetite by shakin it on the kitchen counter to “Car Candy” … Just doin’ my job! ;-)

When is the world’s most talented 17-year-old writing a book, that’s what I want to know.

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Honestly, when she starts to make her faces, it begins looking like she might pass out, or was going to have a seizure or something… Maybe she’s secretly handicapped and they do have to pimp her out for her medical bills… it’s probably her boobs sucking the life out of her or something.

  • Her “sexy” talk sounds so weirdly outdated. Like that of a transvestite from the 1980s. She’s so crazy, but I can’t look away!

  • PLEASE stop promoting this trash. She is a sadly abused teenager and she does not need any publicity. Only therapy.

  • How can a 51 year man of at LEAST average intelligence find her compatible? She looks and acts like she is on drugs, but she’s just a teenager desperately trying to act older. So, so sad. And yes, abusive.

  • HIGH larry us. time to leave her a fucked up birthday msg on thee ol’ facebook…

  • Legally, are we even allowed to read shit like that? She’s not 18. Somebody get a lawyer in here! I’m gonna go scrub my brain.

  • You know, in the beginning I thought this was gonna be hilarious, but I slowly come to realize she’s just too stupid for us to make fun of her. Don’t do that. She’s clearly mentally disabled. We wouldn’t do that to others like her.

  • why is it that no one sees the fact that right after the cbs clip that’s posted here, FATHER ALBERT IS UP NEXT?! you people need to worry about real issues, not some hollywood idiots.