Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Actor Doug Hutchison, 51, Weds “Singer” Courtney Stodden, 16

Introducing the Hutchisons!

Wedding bells pealed Friday, May 20 for actor Doug Hutchison and his bride, 16-year-old Courtney Stodden! The couple married in Vegas.

Hutchison, a talented character actor who briefly trained at Julliard, is 51. He played my favorite alien serial killer on X-Files. But you might remember him best from his gut-turning portrayal of creepy sociopathic prison guard Percy Wetmore in The Green Mile.

The new Mrs. Hutchison is a self-described “upcoming recording artist, a model, inspiring actress, dancer, [and] TV show hostess.” Her website adds that she is an “all-American girl.”

The couple released this statement:

We’re aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial. But we’re very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless.

Aww, I think this is great. Every 16-year-old girl dreams of marrying a movie star. Dreams really do come true!

Other advantages to their 35-year age difference:

– Courtney can buy beer and cigarettes if she brings her new husband along. (Kidding! No one cards this girl, guaranteed.)

– She’s 16! Maybe she’ll finally get that used car she’s had her eye on.

– In a few years he’ll pick up the tab for her boobs college tuition!

– Then he’ll actually save money, since Courtney will be able to use her student discount on everything.

– Maybe now we can all stop freaking out about the two-year gap between cradle-robbing Selena Gomez and young, innocent Justin Bieber. Ha, ha, yeah, right!

Well? Did I miss anything? Help a lady out.

I don’t even want to picture a lover’s quarrel between the two, though. What do you think? Will she shout “You’re not my father!” and slam the door to her bedroom?

30 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Lovely. She looks like she is thirty five, not sixteen. I think that is a stretch. If she is sixteen, then I am eighteen. Make that twenty one, so I am legal…

  • Am I the only one who is down to the bone, genuinely disturbed like this? Not to mention, his character as Percy sincerely made me nauseous. That damn lisp.

  • Fuck me…. Is it just me or does this peg the creep-o-meter? The guy just looks like a big bag of dicks in the first place. How does one of advanced years, assuming of course they dated, get the balls to ask a 15 yr old girl out?

  • if that chick is 16 im…. fucking betty white. idk. that is not a 16 year old girl. she’s in her twenties for sure. has to be. HAS TO BE. bc good lord, if she really is 16, she done been rode hard and put up wet.

  • To steal a joke from Larry the Cable Guy; “I’m gonna call my third grade teacher and tell her I knew 51 went into 16 “

    • I thought I was the only one who used the expression bag of dicks. Props to you good man!

  • Yeah, if she’s 16, I’m a fucking supermodel. And isn’t this some kind of weird pedophilia shit going on? Gross.

  • She looks like life’s done her fucking wrong for the past 30 years, because that girl totally isn’t 16. That is a fully developed and hard lived older woman who’s had just as much, if not more, plastic surgery than Heidi Montag or whatever her name is. No one at 16 looks that old. And how is it possible that some state out there made that little union legal if she really is?! Nasty.

  • You forgot one Jenn…with his money, she can have her pick of the finest pediatricians. Yes, this “age difference” is sickening, and one has to wonder what kind of parents would sign off on this.

  • Jeezus. What kind of parent lets their daughter do that to their face (and tits)? Or pose like that (I’ve seen classier pictures on fliers for hookers)? Or lets their daughter marry a guy who is probably their own age? Fuck. Her parents make Dina Lohan look like fucking June Cleaver.

  • What the f…? Is it even LEGAL to get married at 16? Ugh, this world disgusts me more everyday.

  • She’s 16! That seems insane!! It creeps me out to think she is only 5-6 years older than my daughter, that is in elementary school and is barely starting to need a bra. I don’t understand!!!

  • someone please pass me a barf bag. Whoever that chick is, she looks like a overworked hooker. The things bimbos do for publicity, which she cleary is getting.

  • Yeah…she’s beautiful, but a little “beat” for your average 16 year old. I call bullshit on her age.

  • HA ha…yeah, 16 and looks like that? Well, makeup can make her look older, but I don’t think she’ll age all that well. It must suck looking like you’re 35 when you’re 16!