Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Joan Collins Is Still The Sassiest

A photo of Joan Collins

Did you know that Joan Collins is releasing a new book called The World According to Joan? Yeah, that’s some powerful news, isn’t it? The Daily Mail describes it as “a kind of manifesto for modern living in which she gives her thoughts on everything from parenting to bad manners to politics.” And you know Joan doesn’t hold back, so this book is going to be nothing but gold. Maybe go ahead and expect a good few quotes from it, because I am real excited about it.

Anyway, The Daily Mail got together with Joan because they’re serializing the book starting next week (!!!), and they wanted to have a quick little sit down with her before they got started. And this 78-year-old lady has a lot of words to say.

On being chastised by her children for calling someone a Chinaman: “Apparently that is rude and I am supposed to say Asian. Gah. Since when? Look. I know that people will blame me for pontificating about things that an actress shouldn’t, but I have something to say, something that I think a lot of people will agree with. Things that they might be frightened to say because it is politically incorrect to do so.”

A selection from The Mail’s description of the book: Throughout the nine chapters, Collins writes well with great humour, hitting targets both big and small.

They include actresses who use Botox (‘pillow lips and eyes like tiny pits in a marshmallow cloud’), and fat people (‘the Orca-sized oafs from Planet Girth’).

On fat people: “Loathe fat people? Did that come across? I certainly don’t admire them. They are digging their graves with their own teeth. I think to be terribly overweight is incredibly unhealthy. And how do they get into a tiny lavatory on a plane? I feel sorry for them, I do.”

Joan’s dating advice: It is hard to give your children advice, but I tell my girls what my mother told me. Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen. Start as you mean to go on. Don’t give them a slice of the cake before teatime, if you know what I mean.”

The book also has a rather lengthy-looking segment about Joan’s first husband, actor Maxwell Reed, and how he date raped her on their very first date.  She says that she “only married him because I was so embarrassed that he had taken my virginity.”  So it looks like the book has some really sad material as well as Joan’s classic cattiness (orca-sized oafs from Planet Girth, how am I not supposed to love that?).

Are any of you going to be checking out Joan’s book?

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