Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Arnold’s Marriage Is Officially About to Be Terminated

Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger at the premiere of 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest'

I am so, so sorry about the headline. What am I supposed to do? My hands are tied, here.

Other movie titles I ought to have been able to contort into an ill-worded, trying-too-hard Schwarzenegger Divorce Joke:

End of Days
Collateral Damage
True Lies
The Expendables (he has a cameo)
Raw Deal
Junior (OH, NO)

Anyway. What took so long? Maria Shriver finally, officially filed for divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger yesterday. The Associated Press reports:

The former television journalist and Kennedy family heiress cited irreconcilable differences but offered no additional details about the breakup.

Haha. Um?

According to reports, Shriver actually signed all the paperwork two weeks ago. I wonder why her reluctance to file. Me, I like to think I’d’ve been out of there by Batman and Robin.