Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Love It or Leave It: Nice Bowl, Arnold Schwarzenegger

photo of arnold schwarzenegger new look pictures
Yeah, I know, it’s Arnold Schwarzenegger with a questionably-dyed hair color and definite poor taste in haircuts, but I had to sort of prime you guys with the face-forward photo before I could bodyslam you with the photo of Arnold’s hair from the back. Now that you’ve seen the front, you’re sort of prepared (wait, who am I kidding? There’s no preparing for this kind of follicle shock) for what’s to come up the back steps, because here it is:

photo of arnold schwarzenegger pictures bad haircut pic
And I kind of feel bad for making fun of an “old man” with an “old man haircut,” but this guy did father a child with the maid behind everyone’s back and didn’t even really own up to it after it was proven to be true, so there’s that, and that makes me feel confident in saying, “Wow, get a better barber, old man.”

Who’s with me?

Don’t Worry, Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Still A Douchebag

A photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger

No, I know, I was wondering about it too. Last summer, one of the big stories was all about how Arnold Schwarzenegger was this big ol’ douchebag, but we really haven’t heard all that much about it since. But now he’s releasing this autobiography, so he’s talking about himself again. And, if you haven’t been able to catch my drift yet, let me just spell it out for you: Arnold Schwarzenegger is an asshole.

In case you forgot, here’s what went down: Arnold and Maria Shriver split up, and we learned, thanks to a statement from Arnold, that the split occurred because he told Maria about this one time that he cheated on her and fathered a secret son ten years ago. That’s probably enough to cement his spot in the Douchebag Hall of Fame, but wait. Now, according to what he wrote in his book, he never even told Maria about his secret son. No, he had no intentions of ever telling her, she was just a sly little detective and worked everything out for herself.

From Us Weekly:

Talk about a therapy breakthrough. Arnold Schwarzenegger did not confess fathering a child with his housekeeper until wife Maria Shriver confronted him about it during a therapy session.

The shocking new details comes from Schwarzenegger’s autobiography, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, which addresses the collapse of his marriage to Shriver.

“The minute we sat down, the therapist turned to me and said, ‘Maria wanted to come here today and to ask about a child — whether you fathered a child with your housekeeper Mildred,’” the actor writes in his book (via ABC News) of their Jan. 4, 2011 couples’ counseling session. “I told the therapist, ‘It’s true.’”

Shriver, 56, waited until Schwarzenegger, 65, ended his term as governor of California to confront him on his infidelity. Schwarzenegger says he started begging Shriver to forgive him, saying he “screwed up.” He called her the “perfect wife” and told he was he still “turned on” by her.

The couple announced their separation on May 9, 2011 after 25 years of marriage. On May 17, 2011, Schwarzenegger publicly admitted to fathering a child with housekeeper Mildred Patricia Baena 14 years earlier. In his book, he says he had sex with Baena in 1996 while his family away on vacation and he was filming his role as Mr. Freeze in Batman and Robin.

“Instead of doing the right thing,” he writes of learning about his love child, “I’d just put the truth in a mental compartment and locked it up where I didn’t deal with it every day.”

Shriver filed for divorce on July 1, 2011. But Schwarzenegger says he still has hope they will get back together. “You can call this denial,” he writes. “But it’s the way my mind works.”

Is it just me, or does this make Arnold look way worse than if he had just owned up to the whole thing to begin with? But no, Maria had to find out for herself because Arnold put his own son “in a mental compartment” so that he didn’t have to deal with it all. Girl.

And the bit about how he begged Maria to forgive him after she found out by telling her that she still turned him on? What even is that? Like, “oh, thank goodness you said that, because my main reason for being upset that you had an affair that resulted in a child that you never told me about was that you didn’t find me attractive anymore.” GIRL.

Past Action Hero: Arnold Schwarzenegger Inaugurates Arnold Schwarzenegger Museum

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann attend the bronze statue's unveiling

On Friday, Arnold Schwarzenegger attended the inauguration of the first-ever museum dedicated to the Triumph of Being Arnold Schwarzenegger. The museum itself is located in the house where Schwarzenegger was born, in the village where Schwarzenegger was born, in Austria—where Schwarzenegger was born.

Actually, the museum first opened its doors in July, but I guess Arnold Schwarzenegger was busy then. The building houses “a sword from Conan the Barbarian,” as well as “a Harley-Davidson motorbike from one of the Terminator films.” (My boyfriend, without consulting any sort of documentation, has identified the motorcycle as a “Fat Boy” from Terminator 2 since, as everyone knows, the Terminator rode a Honda in the first movie.)

Also on display: some of young Schwarzenegger’s barbells, a replica of Governor Schwarzenegger’s gubernatorial desk, and—HOLY GOD, THAT STATUE. THAT STATUE THAT STATUE THAT STATUE. Do you see what I see? THAT STATUE HAS A LITTLE STATUE OF ITS OWN.

P.S. I am so bad with headlines. I waffle. This time, my headline was very nearly “True Thighs: Schwarzenegger’s Bronze Statue Unveiled.” Either that, or a pretty obvious joke about Commando. Ugh, I really struggled with this! It’s like trying to pick a child.

Image via “Schwarzenegger unveils statue of himself at museum in Austria” from the Los Angeles Times.