Hey, Blake Shelton. Sure went and got your name in the news, huh?
If you guys missed it, Blake Shelton (a country-singing dude who’s engaged to a country-singing chick you might know by the name of Miranda Lambert) went on a creative bender via Twitter last night where he craftily rewrote lyrics to one of Shania Twain‘s hit song, ‘Any Man of Mine.’ Shania’s version states:
Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin’ squeezin’ pleasin’ kinda time
And Blake Shelton’s witty quip cries:
Any man that tries touching my behind, he’s gonna be a beaten, bleedin,’ heaving kind of guy.
That’s just wow. Really. It’s almost as cute as the guys in my sixth grade gym class who thought it was totally funny to sing crude words in place of ‘*Do Your Ears Hang Low’.
In other words? Completely un-funny.
Later, Shelton went on to apologize, but the damage was already done:
“It honestly wasn’t even meant that way… I now know that their (sic) are people out there waiting to jump at everything I say on here or anywhere.”
Well you know, Blake, generally when people make violent comments in public regarding venomous violence against another man who – accidentally or not – touches your bottom, it usually results in being scrutinized by those who see it or hear it, you know?
*Do your balls hang low/can you tie ’em in a knot/can you beat your meat against the toilet seat/can you tie ’em in a knot/can you tie ’em in a bow/do your balls/hang/low?