There’s seriously nothing more embarrassing than falling in front of a ton of people (or anyone, really) and I vouch for that, because it’s coming from someone who’s so fucking clumsy that my middle name should be “On the Ground.”
There have been a couple reports that Shania Twain has been seen with some dude Frédéric Thiébaud. Which, you know, who cares? But Thiébaud is in the middle of a divorce. From the woman that is now with Shania’s soon-to-be ex, Mutt Lange. People is reporting it like they are just traveling companions. Two people going through similar situations who have discovered a friendship. I’m calling total bullshit on that.
Back in May when Shania and Mutt split, I was the first to jump on the blame the guy bandwagon. But who knows? Maybe she had the affair. Maybe they were swingers who decided to trade out. Personally, I am praying for a full on spouse swap.
I was disappointed by Shania’s red carpet outfit, but the outfit she wore on stage at the CMAs was a very clear “Fuck you, Mutt Lange.” Check out them titties! FAB. U. LOUS. Total motor-boat quality. Way to go, Shania.
As I was driving home from my indoor beach volleyball game tonight (GO CRAZY BALLERS!!!) I got a text from my sister. It said “If you haven’t blogged about the CMAs, you should.” Now, my sister is only peripherally aware that I even run a blog, so I found her interest curious. I texted her back: “Why?” Thirty seconds later, my phone rang. It was my sister. “Have you seen this guy James Otto?” I told her I had not. “OMG. He was just on stage. He looks like a cartoon character. Like he’s from World of Warcraft or something. It’s so bizarre. You have to write about him.” I promised her I would come home and check out his photo. And I did. And my poor, sweet, innocent, scientist little sister doesn’t know what a Botox overdose looks like. This, my friends, is a Botox OD. Totes grossness.
Shania Twain makes her first public appearance since her divorce at the CMAs on Wednesday.
What do you guys think?
I think she looks … okay. I mean, she doesn’t look bad or anything, but I was kind of hoping she’d show up looking fucking incredible and then we could all be like “LOOK HOW FUCKING INCREDIBLE SHANIA LOOKS!!!” and it would be all like “GIRL POWER!!!” and that’s totally not what just happened.