Before I say a bunch of really petty stuff about Lisa Loeb, allow me to say that she totally killed it on the Reality Bites soundtrack in 1994 and that I think I owned a CD of hers when I was in sixth grade. Fine, I know I owned a CD of hers. Also, I feel really badly that she dated Ethan Hawke back in the day because I feel like she’s a really sensitive lady and he’s probably a major satchel of dicks. OK? We square? I got the nice shit out of the way?
You guys, when I saw today that the chronically bespectacled Lisa Loeb is releasing a new line of eyewear and then cross referenced a calendar and realized that it’s definitely, 100% 2011, I laughed my ass off. Did someone wake this chick up from a coma and tell her about endorsement deals or something? Why wasn’t she on this like, 15 years ago when she had a drop of relevancy?
The only thing that’s funnier than the idea that anyone would actually purchase these glasses is the mission statement on the line’s website:
The Lisa Loeb Eyewear Collection offers comfortable frame styles for every look and occasion. The collection includes classic pieces in black and tortoise shell, as well as embellished options accentuated with rhinestones and etchings. Colors range from neutral tones to eloquent bursts of rich turquoise, lavender, lemon ice and cherry red. Each frame is named after one of Lisa’s songs and some delicious colors are inspired by Lisa’s love of food. All frames include a designer hard case and custom Lisa Loeb cleaning cloth.
Her love of food? A Lisa Loeb cleaning cloth? You’ll have to excuse me, I think I’m having a seizure.
In all seriousness, though, I do need a new pair of glasses and I don’t totally hate her designs. I’ll be willing to try them on at the optometrists office as long as I can think of a way to cover my ass if anyone ever asks me who designed my second set of eyes.
Wanna see pictures of the glasses? They’re after the jump, my honey babies…